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Yogi Dada (Fear)

Yogi Dada (Fear)

welcome to the winning ugly podcast, a place where we are real, raw, entertaining, energizing, and encouraging come experience, real conversations that go deep and relationships that extend through the media to overcome testing times. We can't continue to keep our trials and tragic stories to ourselves, to people you will hear from are facing. They're ugly, stepping out of their comfort zone and sharing your victory storms, our guarantee in life and when they come. We want to be right here building you up and empowering you to win ugly


Welcome to the winning ugly podcast. It's me, your host, Trish, and I have my favorite sidekick, Emery.

Yes, I'm here and I'm excited and it's going to be a great show of possibly the coolest person on the planet is going to be on the show today, so I can't wait. You got for you guys to meet her.

Thanks for tuning in. If you are new around here at this podcast is a place for people to come and share their story of winning ugly and encourage someone who may be dealing with the same topic. Our next guest, as Emory said, is a super cool artist who goes by the name Yogi. Dadada. Welcome to the show. Thank you, trace. Thank you. We met, I believe at an event. I'm in downtown Birmingham and Oh, we must, you must tell us. Where did your name come from?

Well, a Yogi is my nickname from childhood. My real name is Yolanda. I do not know where Yogi came from. I don't have an affinity for the bear to cartoon or anything. I think it was an Auntie. She went from Jojo to Yogi and then, um, actually lot of people don't know. For years I was Yogi EFC, the eternal communicator, which was my poetry name. But Dada came once I started painting again. Um, I needed another moniker and I just chose dot. Avocado Data Ism, which is a philosophy of thought, a school of thought post World War Two. That art is whatever you believe it is. Very cool. I was like, yeah, so that's me. Yup.

I did not know any of that. Nor did I think you were going to see any of that. So that's awesome. I've got a lot more for that, that question than we bargained for I think. But that's very cool. Very cool. Well, speaking

of all these different, um, forms of art, you're not only an artist, but you are also a poet, a singer, a sign language, motivational speaker, mind blown, a business consultant through through yoga. Dad. I do do it myself. Wow. And the icing on the cake, you're an African drummer. Yeah. How cool is that?

It's icing on the cake. I think the a sign language and motivational speakers, I think there's to be a comma pause is sign language, comma motivational speech.

Sure. Yes. So you actually state that you've rarely met an artist who creates an, a singular vein. So I guess that's why you have so many avenues of art, which is so cool.

Actually. I consider, um, our dislike chandelier's and we just unveil or uncovered different aspects of ourselves at one time. You know, so people that, you know, artists are so crazy, they have all these

different personalities. It's like, no, we're just multifaceted and we're always discovering a new facet of ourselves. So I don't know. Something might, I might be clogging tomorrow. I don't know.

Yeah. Wait and, and an artist, it seems like you guys are okay with being vulnerable. Yeah, somewhat. And I think a lot of people are afraid to go to that place, right? It's like that's, I don't, I don't want to be vulnerable in that way. But as an artist you sort of do. And that can come out in different ways, right. Come out, come out and poetry and come on your paintings and come on whatever. So I think that's, that's a great skill to have and that's really cool that you guys can go to that police. And I think most people might say that's weird. The, the reason they're saying that is because they're not ready to go to that place. Does that make sense? Not only does it make sense, I just said it this morning to a friend. Sure. Artists, exact same thing. And that's because it's hard to go to that place. So it's because you don't want to, if you, if you're afraid to do something, you just kind of say, well maybe that's weird or that's stupid. It really is something about you that you're afraid. Right. So I get it. Artists are like very gone in that place that are afraid to travel too. Absolutely. And no, but my passion is to help everybody go there. You're right. That's cool. It's very inspiring.

That was my next question. So to be an artist is it, can it be learned or it's something you're just born?

I think everybody has some kind of creative gift and some aspect. Um, I think obviously, you know, artists with people would label as artists maybe have a heavy concentration that area, but you know, mathematics can be creative. How you arrive to a solution. Absolutely. Engineering is obviously very creative, so it's, um, yeah, there's always some element of imagination in everything we do.

[inaudible] entrepreneurship is definitely creativity. Absolutely. I mean, to have an idea and to be able to bring that idea out into the world. I mean that's, that's creativity. That's, that's somewhat like an artist, right? Very much so.

Very much so. Yeah. And you have a gift to share, um, your story and the stories of others through the, the art of your jewelry. And you are 50

[inaudible] so they say, I'm going to circling. No, I love your colors. When I walked into your studio I was like, wow, these colors are just so vibrant and beautiful. Yeah. It makes me feel like I can paint, you know, I'd have friends sometimes who aren't professional artists so to speak. They will come over and be like, I just need a day in the studio and I'm like, I've got an extra canvas come over and paint. Yes, therapeutic. It is very much. So. You do classes for I have done, I do. I have done and I do do classes. Awesome dumb stuff with kids, adults. I did several classes last year with Susan g Komen, breast cancer survivors and my classes are a little different. Um, in terms of not necessarily giving you an image to paint that I did, but discussing concepts and techniques a little bit and then letting you find out what's inside of you, what style you might protect yourself.

Like if there's nothing wrong. Like when we were five, no one had to teach us how to paint. We just did it and everything we did was awesome. Refrigerator, put it on the refrigerator and then I went to school and got out of college and I was like, oh, I don't know if it's good enough. So I want people to stay free. Yeah. Like who could judge it, stay in that childlike state so to speak. Yeah, absolutely. So hard to do. But again, that's another genius that artists have. They're able to tap into that state of mind, which is very cool. Yeah. Bring us into a day of, of art for you. What, bring us into your world. Explain what a day. A

normal day looks like. A, I don't even know if I have normal days, which is amazing how many people have an interview at home Monday night.

So my, my days aren't normal. Um, it's a kind of a balancing act every day. You know, I usually start with quiet time of prayer in the morning and um, from some my friends who are experts in the field as far as entrepreneurship, you t you kind of attack what is most with is least favorable in your day when you have the most energy. And so my mornings I try to get you no emails done. Website main, anything administrative. I try to get that out the way. Great Advice. Yeah. While I'm fresh, you know that administration is mine. Yeah. You can have it. Give it to you. Let me go paint. Absolutely. And then I'll work out, you know, try to go get a walk in or go to the gym and um, I try to rotate that. But usually my afternoons I try to keep open for painting and creating and that's just like Nirvana is nirvana, that glass. Oh my God, you have to listen to specific music pins on my spirits. Sometimes it's African and sometimes it's hip hop, sometimes it's Rock, sometimes it's Gospel, sometimes it's low fi instrumental, sometimes it's classical. Okay. So John,

which we just had on the show. Oh yeah. His episode was awesome by the way. He likes to take walks, sort of clear his head. That's how it kind of gets in the zone.

That feeling is, I do actually get a place. Yeah, sure. Yeah. And I like being outside. I've been doing really big camp. Um, I've moved mama say move, but I've opened back to painting on canvas. So I've been doing wearable art for so many, like 10 years now. But inspired by my brother John and just being around him, I wanted to get back on canvas and I delved into like huge canvases, you know, five feet, six feet high. So yes, I paint outside. There's something about the energy of being outside and having music outside and watching nature. I'm looking at the clouds, how the canvas hits with the sunlight. All of that creates, you know, helped me and my creative process and there's no walls, there's no walls I can breathe and don't let him, you know, some fresh wind come through. That's all part of this. Wonderful.

What kind of paint do you normally use? Acrylic acrylic on canvas. Well before we move into your story, let's, um, go into some fun questions. Okay. Last place you visited our vacation California. Oh yeah. Great to see my sister about a year ago. San Diego. Okay. San Diego. I hear they have phenomenal foods.

Oh, the food's good. Of course I was loving the artwork. Art Walk. Um, the art work in artwork around the area. Um, the walking, the shops, the weather, the beach. It's just, it's California.

Do you have a hidden talent? I feel like you have many talents and they're not hidden. So have we missed anything? Yeah. Something hadn't came out yet that you've been tinkering with carefully. I think it really hit me kitchen. Okay. La Coughing with summer food. Very cool. Any specific cuisine? Anything is love and love. Makes it good. I can do anything from Vegan to a steak. I know I made an excellent meal last night and she thought up, love eating and that's what like, I always thought that was kind of like a, like a euphemism. The elders was, hey, you gotta cook with love. And I was like, I realized it's real. It's there. Yeah. Tasty. Yeah, you can take, okay. [inaudible] you can tell me it's there when it's not. You really can.

I'm like, ah, and you gotta you gotta sing to your food too. Oh, I sing to it and encourage it. I tell him what to do. Like if you're scrambling eggs, you got this.

No is easy. Can you turn the eggs? What to do? Do to get over there. Get over there. I'll try that next time. I think we may need to do a video segment. You'll be done in the kitchen with Yogi data singing her scrambled eggs coming up next there. Great. That's cool. First job, what's the first job you had? You know, when you were a kid maybe or something like that? Ah,

well I was hustling washing cars when I was like 11 or 12 when my first official job was at 14 or 15 at burger king. It's quite [inaudible].

Kind of fancy it up a little. Yeah. Are you wearing up to get the bpay lounge? Did you like it? I mean it was, it was great. Calves making money and you're like 15 yeah, just in paycheck. I did not care. Nothing wrong with that. Did you eat the goods some way? [inaudible] my face started breaking out, you know, 15 Rick round that all that grease and stuff. Good point. [inaudible] not the healthiest that after a while you're like, man, I worked in restaurants before and you're just for me, my experience, you just too hot. You don't even really want to eat. It's pot and you're behind. They call these great. I mean you go on break, you on leave. [inaudible] actually my favorite thing neat is donuts and there's some cool little small like donut shops in Louisiana. So like I'd always be talking to the owner when I'm getting a donut and I'm like, man, this must be like heaven for you. And he's like, no man, I can't eat this. You know what I mean? I eat this, I smell the oil and the grease all day. I don't eat any of these donuts. So maybe that's, that's common. I think since we're onto food, what do you prefer? Cake and ice cream or cookies and milk.

Cookies and milk. Any specific cookie? Probably a tea cake.

Like a pecan sandy or little cookie. You mean a tea cookie and tea cake. Tea Cake. And it has the flavor of almonds. It's a,

it's almost the consistency of a cakey biscuit. Okay. And it has, um, nutmeg, cinnamon and clove in it. It's a deep country cookie. My mother used to make them, you know, being from Mississippi, sometimes they put them with the last this in it. I don't care from Alaska. I love molasses. I have to, I make them every Christmas. Like what song do you sing? Oh, listen to the Tchaikovsky. Oh yeah. The way the Tchaikovsky, the nutcracker when I make it. Okay, cool. Cool. Cool.

Thanks. I like that. But it's funny you had a song ready. Oh, I'm ready. She's being funny. You're like, no, I have a song I listened to take off Christmas cookie. Teacakes yes, I have the, I don't know what that is. I have to make it, I don't like it to change your life. Can't I do like the lenses,

the, it's KCI, but it's like Bizkit skit and is cinnamon and nutmeg gets, and it's not overly sweet. No, it's KCI would, they're big and fluffy. You would break it in half and stick it in your clique. Cake. I also feel like I'm going to have to Google it. Look the old fashioned TK. Yeah, we shall do that. All right, so I'm assuming since you're an artist, I probably already know this answer, but I'm going to ask it anyway. Facebook or Instagram, that can't make up. I don't have, I don't have a preference for really, really. I don't really, not as much as I know people through social media, I don't always enjoy it. I know it can be taxing. Oh, it is absolutely. Incredibly. So I'd rather do neither. Okay.

However, do you, um, I do

connect, I think more with my audience through Facebook. Yeah. I have more interaction. Sure. And Instagram, of course people view what I do. I think my business was built through fee. I know it was built through Facebook. That's awesome. Absolutely. It is taxing. I posted one thing today, took 35 minutes. Right. I'm like, I don't have time.

No, I know. I am not bound by anything. I used to, like when I started I felt like, oh, I got to promote. I got it. And I did that for awhile and I was just like, you know what? Like I believe that your gift will make room for you. Relax

and just go with the flow. Yeah. I like that. You guys better know. I put a lot of love into that post, so I would love it. Yeah. We sent me a hard thing to the post. I, we put it up there. Yeah. Oh Man. Okay. Do you prefer coffee or tea? Oh, coffee. Oh, absolutely. How do you drink too

pins on my spirit. You know, I'm artist. It depends on which facet is, you know, flowing that day. Some days it's hardcore black, right? Some days it's all cream with a little bit of sugar and a hint of coffee.

I would love to live in that mindset. Just freeing mindset. That seems so free eating and just, it's a cobalt to enjoy it. Yeah. It was not enjoyable in fourth grade. Yeah. Was a strange, odd personnel. Right? High School I was. I was, but when I graduated high school, I was voted most likely to become a rock star. That's cool. Sounds like maybe they saw something. I, I was not voted that. Okay. How was that either cool that you were, I was probably voted a librarian. I don't know what I was voting for, but that's awesome. The basketball star? No, probably Captain Rockstar. All kinds of three pointer. Yeah. I used to shoot a lot of bags, basketball back in the day. But anyway, that's a long time ago. But rockstar when it took that wow. All Day long. Yogi, let's move into your story of fear. You told me that the root of your fear was from childhood and then it was passed down into your adulthood. So can we start there?

Um, I think it's just probably being in an element of fear. I know, um, my mom late, my parents let me really young and when they moved to New York, you know, she, my dad was working out of, um, out of the city so we wouldn't hit to go. He worked in New York and so New York City, so she was home a lot with a young kid. She's 19. I think she just had some of the fears that she had to conquer. I'm coming out of a small town in Mississippi going to all the way up almost in Canada. Right. And so she had a lot of fears that she had to go through. So I think some of that may have kind of rubbed off. And then just the world we live in is very fearful. Um, I think just even the educational system is kind of built around the fear of doing this.

And so it's just instilled in you, um, in so many different avenues. But one of her mantras before she left this earth was do it afraid. Like I remember so many times she was like, I was taking swing classes in New York and I was afraid to learn how to swim. You're gonna learn how to swim. She was afraid of water, but her kids are gonna learn how to swim. And I, the first time she told me that, uh, I had to jump off the high dive [inaudible] Oh, that's not going to happen. I was getting in the pool, but I'm not jumping off the height. And I was like, mom, I'm afraid. She was like, do the frame. And I did it and I survived and I don't think I'd be here today at this level with my artwork. She forced, forced me to get on an open mic in 1996 with all my poetry and it would still been in a notebook under my bed.

And she was like, oh, let's go to the open mic. And I was just like, ah, I thought I was going to die. Literally if I got in front of people to speak. And she was like, oh, like I'm afraid to do it. Afraid. And I would say something like, you know, if I said it was hard, what does hard have to do with anything? So

those were the two mantras, you know, do it afraid and what does hard have to do with anything. It was very inspiring. Yeah, it was not easy. But you're going,

yeah. Cause I think people, a lot of times when they're trying something new, they feel like they have to have some sort of comfort level as they're going into it, which sounds ridiculous out loud. But that's sort of how we treat everything. Like I'm going to try this, this new whatever. If it's starting to swim and start a business, right. You know, you're not going to be comfortable. It's going to be terrifying. This podcast, same way. So I think, you know, you're, your mom makes a lot of sense, you know, talking about doing her to free because each time you do it, the better you get at it. You know, it's always gonna and then there's gonna be a new challenge down the road. And guess what? You're going to be afraid again. But you can look back and say, man, I was afraid for all those other challenges but I made, I'm alive and fine. I'm, you know, I'm good so I can push forward.

And then you start seeing the benefits of pushing past that fear. Oh absolutely. Because that night I got on the Mike, I actually won my first poetry slam. So my first time on the Mike ever, I won the slam. I was like, and you had the freestyle off of a word that night. I was like, I am about to die seven deaths and do that. I got a freestyle, but I won. And, but I met some of the poets that night who in turn introduced me to some other poets where they were having an open Mike. I kept doing poetry, then I started getting features, then I started, you know, meeting people. Then I'm traveling. Then I met other artists here in Birmingham, ended up getting a, um, Emmy award nomination on the soundtrack. Really did for Alabama public television. I never would have sang background vocals on an award, you know, award winning, track nominated track. Had I not done poetry that night, you know. So I just look at all the things that unfolded just from one step of overcoming fear. Yeah. You changed the direction of my artistry and my life. You're speaking directly to Emory because he writes poetry and he's an like

right there. His work is, it's really, really good. No, no people I've read it. I'm telling you, you need to get up.

Yes. You never know who needs to hear your story. Maybe I'm, I'm comfortable with writing but definitely have not made that transition yet to

it's time. There's a reason you're here. You got a Mike, here's your sign. You have one in your hand.

It's tough. It really is. You guys make it look easy. Cause I've seen people do it and I'm like, I mean, but once you, once you get up there, I don't, it's something about that first step when you're sitting there, you're about to die. And you know, like I said, a thousand deaths. But once you stand up to go to the Mike, something changes and it only clicks when you get up there. Sort of something empowering I guess. Yeah. And, and I found that not only was it empowering, it was therapeutic and it was ministry. Cause you just never know one person that might feel exactly what you're saying. Yeah. And they tell you after the show, they're like, oh, I need to hear that with tears in their eyes. You're like, oh, it was bigger than me in the moment. That's true too. So that's the heart, you know, that's the part where I get to like, ah, okay. Get past the fear. Look at the big picture. Did you ever experience almost numbing fear yet? Like I would literally start blacking out. Wow. My first time I sang a solo in church, I was terrified to sing in public. I would not for years. And uh, first soul, I didn't church. Uh, it was right after my mother passed in 2009 I passed out after I finished, I literally fell flat on my, I am like a timber. Like now.

I went all the way down bow. Wow. You okay? I'm assuming my pastor's like, you did this shit. You did great people carrying y'all one by your leg when? By your hair.

Oh, it was tariff. I mean, literally like I would, my peripheral vision would start to go black and felt like I couldn't breathe. Yeah. And I couldn't even remember my name. I got that. That was something like on the Brady bunch of something that's real. You forget everything. Oh, I get a minute ago. Yeah. But, uh, even then, uh, the feedback though, like the people that came up to me, it was like, oh, your voice is so anointed. Um, it was such a blessing. And I was like, ah, my pastor always said, you know, using the enemy's going to attack what you're supposed to do. So if you didn't have a special anointing to sing, he wouldn't have tacked you in the end. And I had people my whole life, they always told me I could not sing. They told you you couldn't sing. Couldn't told me I couldn't sing. Yeah. He was bad. Yeah. Like, yeah, those like shut up.

Thanks a lot, man. You've got gotta love those. Encouraging. Yeah.

Right. So people in your corner. But um, but I just started realizing again, once you start doing that, what you're most afraid of is probably where your highest anointing and your gifting is. It's a good point. And that's where people will be most healed and feeling that, that love and that encouragement. Yeah. So basically what we're saying is that to not actually sing or tonight actually read your poetry or to not actually dive off that diving board. It's actually selfish because you're ultimately here. There's people out there that can be blessed by that and you're not allowing that blessing to come out. Yeah. So that's how I was an attribute or humility. It's not, it's a prison and it's really self centered. It's self focused. It is. I'm wondering, I'm concerned about what they would think about me. It's all about me. Right.

As opposed to, I wonder what I can give it to somebody else in the world and in the people around me in the city path. I'm not asking everybody to jump off the diving board. You know, you might need to start by just driving by the pool. Nope. Put it in your gps. No nowhere located in lifeguard. And maybe you'll have to drink a glass of water. There's some make some [inaudible] around the water. Get around the water, start stove, put in the water someday.

Do some more in one day. You jump off that diving board. Okay. So what was fear, I know we're going to come to this, that you did eventually stop, um, being an artist, but was it fear that made you quit? I think it was just really strong levels of discouragement. Um, my family always supported me, but, um, I just think it's, the educational system in general does not really understand how to develop artists even from school, especially once you start getting to those grades where you need to start looking longterm into your life. Like middle school, high school, you're talking about college and everyone, I just remember that being a theme. What are you gonna do with art? What are you going to do with art? You know, what are you going to do with art? It's just like, I don't know. I want to be already is like be artists and um, even going through college, you know, it was just terribly discouraging.

So I just, um, I think if your children don't have a strong sense of what they're supposed to do before they get there, they can really be discouraged cause I didn't fit the norm. And I'm finding so many artists, so many that are in college or just got out and they are just like, um, a lot of them stop creating. They feel like they don't have the gift or they, uh, you know, they just feel very discouraged and they're like, you know, going to art school is the worst thing I've ever done. So my passion is that it might opportunities to teach that we help artists develop their toolbox, but not so much try to tell them what to build and what it should look like. You know, you have people out here doing a, I don't know where it's at, somewhere abroad, maybe Europe, I don't know.

There was a lady doing uh, art shows with no art. Like you go in and look at a blank wall or you imagine art with your mind and people paying for that. So how on earth can we qualify and quantify what good art is? If people are looking at a blank, blank wall, you really see it. And I've found just in my travels, my study that pretty much whoever has the money to endorse you and you're the it then you're it. I've seen crushed up Pepsi cans on a pedestal for $10,000 what was in it was a golden Pepsi. I mean, you know, but just so art is so subjective. Like let me just help you expand your tool box. I think that's the problem too, is that it is so subjective. It kind of freaks people out. So it's Kinda like just, Eh, just put out on the back burner or just right.

And I just, it just, people don't know what to do with it. Yeah. You know, I, in my quiet time, I was just meditating one day and God began to show me that man, in terms of mankind, we only revered that which we can measure. And if we can't measure it and quantify it and control, we can't control it. And if we can't control it, ah, what do we do with that? Right. I understand mathematics one plus one is two, but you can't tell me that this hue of red is really written, you know, as Pepsi can or Whoa. And I mean that may seem absurd, but somebody liked it. Absolutely. And somebody thought it was avant garde and sure. So you know, it's a journey. It is.

So you stepping away, it was really almost 17 years, right?

Yeah. I stopped painting for a long time. That is and would not paint well, I mean any, anything I was done, I really was like, I don't have the gift. I go over it. Yeah. I was still doing poetry and anything lyrical, all that. Okay. But, um, I gave way, oh my God. Hundreds of dollars with oil paint canvases, expensive brushes. I was like, hands done. I'm, that's not me. I'm not good at that. And anything,

brush and paint,
I would not even draw of wood mat. [inaudible] okay. Well how

I heard about this good friend that invited you, invited you to a painting party. So kind of tell us about that. I believe that that was kind of, um,

the catalyst for returning to your career in art. Yeah. Why? I remember, you know, all the time, it's Kinda like seeds. My mother would always mention when she was thinking, you have a bad day at work, I just wish you could come off your job and do your craft. So that thought was always in the back of my mind. And right before she passed, um, one of my friends, Vivian had a fips and strokes at our home and I was like, I'll come but I am not, painting isn't a paint tonight, I'll sit. But no, I'm not show. And I think it really hurt her that I stopped painting

as you were working in a how's the optician? Okay. For 17

years I worked in the eyeglass field, so, and I was actually very good at it and that actually was very instrumental and kind of bringing me out of my shell along with doing a poetry but working in sales. Oh yes, yes. But it was a benefit. So, but during that time I was not painting. Okay. So Vivian invited you to this party and she lit it and she's a feisty little things. So when I got in the door, she literally stuck a paintbrush in my hand here. And, uh, she had a canvas and some paint set up, like sitting, sitting on the floor and I just, she said, you're going to paint tonight. And I was like, oh, okay. And I did. And I, it's actually on my wall in my studio. You still have the painting? Yes. You've got a picture of that. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. So that was the first thing. And um, I did a few more pieces while my mom was still alive and of course when she passed. And um, so I started painting again about Oh eight, when she passed in Oh nine. And so it was probably a year I just went into a really bad depression until I made some earrings one day, just trying to do something nice for myself just to cheer myself up and, and it just kept coming back. I wish you could leave your job and do your craft. Yeah. Because she was always the one that really championed you and pushed you to pursue your craft, right? Yeah. Yeah. She was actually the first person to put a paintbrush in my hand. About four years old. She taught me to do watercolor. Um, she, oh my goodness. I had huge blank, uh, drawing pads and she had me so young.

She said, I didn't know what to do with you, but I knew what not to do. So she took parenting classes and child education and learned about US inspiring creativity. Instead of giving me color books, blank canvases, and had Lincoln logs, we made a playdough from scratch. I had of course dolls and colored pencils, chalk just to hit the medium. You can imagine. We did paper Mashay. Have you ever dabbled in making clothes? No, not really. I've paid it on some [inaudible] clip. My mom did. So it just never, I just never got into it. Well, um, W I love you said this quote that you're doing what you're created to do, just like Fisher created to swim. So it is just quite evident that you are, you were made to be an artist and I'm, you're living out your craft. I'm, but what do you believe conquers fear?

Hmm. Love. I'm gonna need you to expand on that. Um, well, my personal spiritual belief is God is love and love will take you beyond yourself. So like I said, um, for me to get on the mic, no matter how nervous I may be, my love for others will compel me past the fear. And you know, fear. Sometimes we think it's going to be just the absence. I mean, having courage, the of fear, but sometimes have encouraged, he's doing it in the face of fear. It doesn't mean you won't be afraid to push past it. Of course, you know, if you think about a mother, she sees a burning car and her child is in it, love will compel her past the fear of burning up. So love always is going to push you past the fear, whether it's your love of yourself, love, love of others, love of the memory of a loved one. I released my first book in 2012 a poetry book. And again, it was like thinking about my mother's words and her pouring into me art creatively. And I was like, I didn't really want to live at that point, but it was like, you know what I have. So I mean literally there's blood, sweat and tears in my book because I was crying over the keyboard. Like, ah, it took me forever to write just, um, kind of a, I'm a Mo, I'm Memoriam to her. Yeah. So there's something about love that just,

it is true because two of the things that I absolutely love is cooking and hearing people's stories and we've had a cooking show and I did not want to do that, but it was because I loved cooking so much. I was like, I have to do, like I'm going to do it. And I'll remember, I would just, my way of coming out, fear coming out of me was, oh, with sweat. So you get the lights set up and the camera set up things and I would just be, I was just so nervous. And then this podcast, which I don't really know much about podcasting, but I was like, you know, I love to hear people's stories so I'm going to just do it scared. And I remember even to this day, sometimes I'll, my mind will just black out. I'll be like, no idea what. No, no idea. I've got nothing. Emory, you going to have to come on in and save the day. But yeah, I mean you do have to just do it scared. Yeah. And because you love it so much. Yeah. Yeah. So what, what is the ultimate win for you?

Hmm. I can't say I've completely arrived, but I'm finding peace regardless. Manifesting peace regardless when you have and when you have, not, when you're winning and when it doesn't like you're winning. I find very few people that don't get their boats rock when things aren't going the way we think they should. You know, I ran to a church member a couple of weeks ago who had just gotten out the hospital and he got him, he almost died. He said, love lifted me, like love literally lifted me out of the hospital.

But he said, I chose how I wanted to go through that ordeal. He said I could be happy or I could be sad. It was a choice. Right. That's good. Yeah. So we can choose how we want to, how we want to go through things. It's not always easy. I actually served, uh, volunteered in a shelter for a few years, teaching poetry to, um, women and watching what, whatever I had going on at home that day in real life.

Uh, and when I would get to the Shelton and listen to the stories, see what these women were going through and the way they went through it with so much courage and faith and still having kindness and perspective, it changed my viewpoint. You know, being grateful like, ah, everything may not be what you want it to be, but you had some clean water today, right? Yeah. Yeah. Keeping the proper perspective. Yeah. Is it really true? You know, we complain about everything. I was too hot. Eyes to call it. [inaudible] it's raining too much. Oh my God. I'm too full.

I'm too full. I'm staying hungry. I'm thirsty. I thank God for hot shower. No one's timing you for a hot shower. You can take two a day if you want it. Right. You can take a shower in the morning and then totally unnecessary. Right. I could do it.

I caught myself just today. I was, I was like, oh Lord, thank you for this washing machine because we've been out of a washing machine because our hose went out and we couldn't find a replacement part. We finally got one in and I was like, every time I use it, I'm going to be so thankful. Like you get so caught up in the every little thing that you do. I mean, even using your microwave or your cell phone, you don't realize like be thankful. Just be thankful for everything that you have. Yeah. Being peaceful that that manifested peace. Yeah, exactly. What would you say to someone who is going through something similar? As I'm, I know fear is different for many people, but in general,

in general, um, I think it's important to find what you enjoy and love. You know, like, I don't necessarily enjoy heights too tough. I believe I'll concrete cause I do want to jump out of a plane one day. Oh God, I will, I will go. Oh, is going to happen,

which you are terrified of that. Oh yeah. I don't know if our down the way down just from the fear, which you're not in or you too extreme stuff like games and all or I love watching it, but I want to do it. Like when I was young I was, I was the BMX queen in my neighborhood. That's what I mean. Okay. Yeah. I used to like that to me some way. Yes, it'd be someone bringing it back out. But you're going to do it. Jumping out of a point is like, I'm gonna start by driving by to hide, you know, driving by the airport. Ooh. I don't know. But

a certain level like f that is obviously a fear of mine, but I have no desire to want to do that. So yeah.

One thing. I don't think you have to go too extreme, but I think like just starting with, um, what it is that you've always wanted to do, that, that thing that you enjoyed as a child that was matched your compass for finances. We get messed up by the time we get in school and I'm not knocking education at all, but from my experience and what I see once again to the vein of this system as it is, it's, it derails your natural ability to tattoos to stay free. Yeah. Children are fearless. They think everything they create is awesome. They will jump off the top of the house if you let them. Absolutely. They have no fear. They don't care about bugs, nothing. And then by the time they get into school, all of a sudden they start having fears or maybe it's their friends fear to start in a system of fear that we're, we're in.

So I think it's important to know what your passion is, what do you love and keep doing that. And then, you know, um, getting past the fear of not wanting to share it. Yeah. When your love for other people becomes greater. Like I had a poem one day I was, and I just felt God inspired it and I was going to do it at a club, a smoky club, little dive downtown. And I was just like, oh, I felt so strongly inspired to do this poem. And I just feel like, God, I just feel like these people are gonna throw tomatoes at me or think I'm crazy. And I did it. And when I finished, I didn't have any applause really. It was like, you know, one or two claps, like off of a bad movie. But, um, as I was going out the door, this young guy came up to me and uh, he had his hat pulled low and he just had a big tear coming down his cheek.

He said, that was for me and it hit me. Right. Oh, it's not about the applause. It's not about the fanfare would, you could be saving somebody's life. Yeah. You don't know what he was going to say, that he might bite a pivot now and go in another direction because of that. And the tone was just talking about how much God loves you. You know, so you just never know. So just conquering fear and like he was saying was so important earlier. Once you conquer one, fear just keeps propelling, you know, snowballing. Well I can do that. I jumped off the diving board and I can, I can swim. Why wouldn't I jump off the high dive? That's true. Why wouldn't I? Yeah. And it progresses. Yeah. You grow as a person, you know, through all those, you know, and you're not always going to be successful either in those new challenges.

Yeah. Sometimes like man didn't work something. Exactly. You might, but you might learn something that's going to take you to the next challenge. Absolutely. God wanted you to be and you might be very successful. And I've never seen anyone that I considered successful, whether it was financially, emotionally, socially, that didn't conquer fear all the time. The most fearful people are the ones who just stay in one vein. You're right. So I really don't, I hate it here. Just holds you back from so much. She does. It is. Well I think we have a good action step so that, yeah, thank you. People audience out there. You need to go write three things you're afraid of. Right. And pick one and try to do maybe some kind of step around that where the swimming pool is in your neighborhood. Exactly. You guys know what the largest, the biggest fear on the planet is more so than death. Public speaking. Yes. Yes. If you can do that. Cause I teach public speaking too and that one, that one right there, people were like, Oh man, it's big deal. I'm

reading a Ted talk book and I mean I just cannot even imagine. I'm just, I said I think I would just faint fall through the floor disappeared. Yeah. Disappear. I've done it a few times. Yeah. And I felt like I was terrified but the people that were in the audience, like my parents were in the audience or my wife or whatever, they were like, it seemed like you were just hanging out like you were so cool. I was like, yeah, tell shirt is wet towed away. He's like, I'll pass out afterwards to say exactly. Does managing that fear while you're up there? Yeah. Okay, I hear Ya. Yeah. But yes, I hear Ya. Audience out there, I ask you please go out and take one action step around your fear and let us know about it. We want to hear about it. So Yogi, thank you so much for being on the show and taking time to share your story and encourage us.

Thanks for tuning in and until we meet again, look for someone who needs encouragement and share your story with them because you never know what they're dealing with and maybe maybe a fear that they're dealing with and they see how you reacted in your situation and you encouraged them. So if you haven't done so yet, hit the subscribe button so you don't miss another episode rate and review and it only takes a few seconds. Come on guys, go do it right now. You can also find us on Instagram, Facebook and Twitter and our Twitter handle is winning underscore ugly. Thanks for listening guys. He was going to be a great show because we had to closely

and he did not disappoint. C, I'll take it easy.

When the ugly moments come, remember that light shines brightest in the dark. Love radiates brightest among hate life stance. Most bold leap against death.

Matthew (Addiction)

Matthew (Addiction)

Marissa (Fleeing)

Marissa (Fleeing)