Welcome!

Betsy (Weary)

Betsy (Weary)

welcome to the winning ugly podcast, a place where we are real, raw, entertaining, energizing, and encouraging come experience, real conversations that go deep and relationships that extend through the media to overcome testing times. We can't continue to keep our trials and tragic stories to ourselves. The people you will hear from are facing, they're ugly, stepping out of their comfort zone and sharing your victory. Storms are a guarantee in life and when they come, we want to be right here building you up and empowering you to win ugly

Welcome to the winning ugly podcast. It's me, your host, Trish, and of course me as well, Emory, the cohost.

I started this podcast for many reasons, but the main reason was to create a space for people to share their story. Today's story will resonate with many moms and Dads, but even if you are not one of those like Emory and I, you will get something out of her story. It's going to be a great show. We're very excited to have Ron, I think you guys are gonna love it. So Betsy, welcome to the show. Thank you so much. I'm glad to be here. Yes. We're so happy to have you on. Thank you Betsy. Now a grandmother will share with us how she had to win ugly through being weary, especially weary as a new mother to for an under five years. That is a big undertaking. I think we all can say we feel underqualified weary and discouraged when we start something new even if it is becoming a mother or a newlywed or starting a new job or starting your own podcast, so stay tuned and be encouraged.

As I always say, I am in constant need of my daily dose of encouragement to help me push through the day. Side note because I want to let you know that you need to stay tuned to the end of the show, so cue the shooting star and the balloon Emoji. We have a surprise at the end of the show and you do not want to miss a surprise. Apparently I am not aware of Emory is getting a shade of red. This is not awkward at all. It's going to be a great show apparently with a lot of twists, turns and ups and downs. Yes. Mostly ups, I'm assuming. Yes. So Betsy, before we move into your story, we want to get to know you a little better. We do know you grew up in the south, you were raised by a loving family. And what I love so much about you is that you are an amazing friend with a huge heart, soft spoken, but so powerful with your words of affirmation and encouragement. And I know you love to have lunch with friends and you love to travel and see your adult children. And you also love to read stories of the persecuted church around the world. Yes. So tell us a little bit more about you and what makes you you. Oh, well thank you.

Well, I was born in Alabama and I was born into a family with five children. I had wonderful parents. I always felt very unconditionally loved, which was I wonderful. That is and always will be a wonderful, yeah, absolutely. Give the child. I had a home, there was, there were strong values taught and again, I felt very loved, but also within my home, things of faith were not really spoken about or encouraged a lot. We attended church off and on and we set a little, a little blessing before supper, but I never remember seeing a Bible read from, I never remember praying for anyone. I never remember anyone signed. They had prayed for me. I never remember any time around Easter or Christmas or any time that we really talked about Christ and the church and his gift to us. And so though I will always be grateful to my parents and thankfully, thankfully I was able to share with each of them in later years of my faith, I was able to share with them, which meant the world to me in my growing up years. It was just something a little bit on the back burner up by life. Yeah. I'm married and as Trish said, we had four

children in five years. My husband was in the military, so we lived away from my hometown at the time. And it was, it started from a sort of a journey of a lot of weariness and discouragement that I'll talk more about.

Well, thank you so much. Um, you can already tell. Yeah, this is going to be a beautiful story. So, no, I, I could tell I felt like it's a lot of built up build up going on. So we're, we're very thankful that you're going to be sharing that. Let's move into a few fun questions just to ask you. Um, so advice you love to give, where to eat lunch. Oh yeah. Love to do that as well. I, I also eat lunch.

Some advice for simply eat lunch. It's a thing. Well, do you have a hidden talent? Um, well I guess, I don't know if I'd say have a hidden talent right now, but when I was younger I was, I want, well, I'm exaggerating. I was very good swimmer and swam on the swim team and did very well really in my, I did not know many years ago, but a love to swim. And I was pretty, pretty good at it. Wow. That's still pretty athletic. I like to say that. I don't know, probably toot my own horn, I don't know if everyone would agree with that, but swimming is definitely one of those sports that I'm not very good at and I've tried and I mean I can swim obviously, but as far as athletically, competitively, right is very difficult. You have a lot of respect for people that can swim with a good rate of speed.

And it was fun because at the time I was growing up, girls were not in many sports, so that was the competitive sport that girls and guys for in there was a sport for sinking and going down really fast champion right here. This guy, I'd be all over android yet. All right, moving on. Last place you visited or vacationed at? The last place we went was Charleston, South Carolina. That is on my list. Well it is wonderful and we have a daughter who was living there at the time and loved Charleston and Amery if you'd love to eight, that's a place to here. The food is unbelievable and it's just a beautiful, beautiful city. Lots of history on the beach. Lots of good. They just a very, it's on the list. Okay, good. I hope y'all, are they famous for lobster rolls or am I talking about a different place? I think everywhere is famous for lobster. Not sure about it. I'm not sure about lobster in Maine. I would go to Maine if I wanted the lobster rule, I would assume wrong. Okay. But you're graphically challenged right here.

Well, um, hard copy or digital book. Hard copy. Yes, for sure. For sure. Yes. I agree. I agree. That is so great. Coffee or tea? Coffee. Oh, what kind of coffee? Any specific kind? Um, Seattle's best. Oh, just coffee for myself. A good brand. It's a good Seattle. It's the best. It's not, it's fair. No clue. Well that's good. Do you like it? Dark, strong, medium roast. Strong. Okay, good. Do you I like the beach or the snowy mountains. Beach. Really? Yes. Yes, yes. Where it's age. Last question. What do you think about Pecan sandies? Well, this is a pretty deep question. Honestly. No. And so I will have to say to me, I don't think Pecan sandies

are my favorite because to me they're more like a cracker.

Then a cookie. I mean, I knew, I knew we had a good feeling about you. We invited you to the show. It's been confirmed. Yes. That's, that's my gone. Sandy's. Congratulations. Good job. Thank you, Keith. That is awesome. I'm feeling on the cracker cookie. Yeah, not very good. I'm shedding a tear, right? My staff. The constantness. Oh, Betsy. So let's move into your story. Let's go back to the beginning. When you grew up, you told me you grew up in a loving home and it was not

Christ centered. Yes. I guess as, as I go back and think about that time, I think as I said, it was a wonderful home, but things of faith, we're not stressed at all, but about that time I roll a couple of

things the Lord brought into my life that were very, very critical to my faith. I was invited to go to Panama City, Florida and went to what I thought was just a beach ban dancing time on the beach. With a bunch of girls. And it ended up being campus crusade for Christ outreach in Panama City. And I was 16 years old. And our remember hearing faith and the story of faith and believing. And then at the very end, the students, some of the college students who were leading this group said, if any of you would like to pray or ask any questions, raise your hand and we'll come down and talk with you.

And so I raised my hand and a couple of them came down or they sat with me and they went through what used to be called the four spiritual laws. But the campus crusade sent all over the world, actually in the 60s, seventies house hub. And, um, and I asked me if I wanted to pray. And I did. Then I did accept Christ that night. And when I was 16 years old, 1967. Oh. And I have it written down. I actually found it years later in what we used to call a diary. Now they're called journals. But that then it was a diary and I found dead dated March [inaudible] 1967. And I had written just a little sentence. So it was a great reminder, but that was very cool, that moment to be able to reread that. You know what it was Emory, you are right to go back and read. It was just two sentences and the last sentence in that and Trey, after I'd said a wonderful thing happened, I became a Christian and I'm so excited. My next sentence was, I hope, I hope I get a date this week.

Yeah, there you go. Since you were 16 because I was six days, that was on your mind. That was on my mind.

Great for the Lord had may recorded and then your slider fine. Oh, that is awesome.

So you are married and I'm when you, let's go back to your beginning years of marriage and

when you had your children. Okay. Um, well my heart, my husband can, was in the army. We met at the University of Alabama and we married and we moved to Arizona, lived in Arizona and Virginia. And while we're in these two places, we did have four children and five years. And, um, though I was very grateful and thankful I'd always wanted to have children, I began for me to see such a, um, a beginning failing of wariness and discouragement and um, was reminding my husband how there were nights I just would go to bed crying. I didn't know if I could physically or emotionally do it. The next day we lived, I was exhausted. We lived away from home. My children were not, some people have all easy children. We didn't have all easy children. They were, I loved them, but they were not all easy. So it was just a tack that we're, we are working memory.

That's exactly right. Yeah. I was exhausted and I had to learn how they came before me and I wasn't used to being fifth after 44 other people. I didn't like being fifth. I think we can all, I like being in first, or at least second, but not fifth. So that was sorta that began to grow. And in that time my husband got out of the army. We moved back to our hometown in Birmingham and began to, I was led to a church that was a Bible teaching, faithful, faithful church, and I began to go to a women's Bible study. I'd never been in one before. There were 20 or 25 women and most of all of us were mothers. But I'll never forget when I first walked into the study and the woman who was leading it, she asked me about myself and I told her that I had four children and I'll never forget what she said. And she said it sweetly. She said, oh, May. She said what a blessing. And then she looked at me, she said, you poor thing. Oh, and so really, truly I knew that she, she with that stuff, she got my heart rally with that. She picked up on that. Yeah. That I was very grateful. But I guess you can say the weariness and brokenness in me. So just her acknowledging that as a brand new Bible teacher kind of helped me to be real.

Yeah. And to be okay with being tired or being exhausted or not, or not being a first or whatever now being whatever you asked. Right? Yeah, that's right. Did you, I mean whenever you became a mother, um, did you have all these ideas in your head of what a mother is supposed to be and that is what kind of, when it all happened and it was all said and done and you had four kids and under in under five years, what did that look like and how did it really kind of yes, flesh

out really in my like, well I remember thinking, nobody told me how this was going to be. I never knew that. I just didn't know. Um, but what happened with May, one of the parts of, again, gear Trish said, my story is that with my new group of Christian brands and moms and we will go in together, I found myself being so striving, so hard to keep up with what the other mothers were doing. And if they were taking their children to choir, then I would think, oh, may I need to get my children choir? If one of them said, I only let my child watch 30 minutes of cartoons a day, then oh no, my children watch two hours yesterday. Right. Try. I was trying to get some peace and quiet and I was beginning to take my mind, my heart and I was listening and I and everything everybody said was wonderful.

Nobody made me feel that way. It was me. That's the comparison trap. It was a comparison thing. Paris. It was thing. It wasn't. It was right. I just couldn't, I thought I'm not, I'm not keeping up with this. I can't do, yes. Yeah. But I would keep trying to do it what anyone else did. I would at least try to do it. And you don't know better because you know your friends. I'm sure that we'll greet people. So your at sort of thinking, well I'm kind of learning on the fly here, right? They're doing this so maybe this is a good model to sort of model what would their doing with my kids, right. Maybe something like that. Yeah. As well. Emory, your why you're writing and what I found out your later, it's a lot of the women in that group felt just like me. They would say we were trying so hard. There was almost unknowingly kind of, yeah. Sometimes even within the church and with belabors there can be competition can get started or trying to measure up or those type things. And that had really begun to take hold of me because I was in the study and it was wonderful for five years I was in it and loved it. But that was sort of Trish, to answer your question, that's sort of how I began to fail.

That's really beautiful that you say that because I will say, you know, our time, we've been to many different churches, but the one we are in currently a, it's just such a beautiful picture to paint when people are real and raw and light, they're not fake. And if they wear their hearts out on their sleeve and if they're having a bad day, you see it and you hear it. And, um, yeah, I can see where sometimes some churches, it's a pretty package and everything's perfect, but um, you know, it's, it's nice to see that you do strive to be, you know, help other moms if they are struggling and just be real and don't compare yourself where this is, I don't know if this is a funny question, but I'm sure when your kids were in the age to go to school where you like,

oh no, I don't want you to go. Or were you like, ah, thank you lord. Gosh, I get a break the ladder. I was so excited when my youngest went to five year kindergarten. Wow. I remember dropping her off and dropping Harlem clothes. I was so happy and I thought, is this right? Why am I so happy? But I was, I was berry, I was Trish. I was happy and I felt guilty about that. But I thought, I have some time. I have some time to go have lunch with friends. I can go do my lodge with brands. But you know, at, at that time though, attrition, Emory, the Lord dip again. And during these years, these really kind of messy years and Phalen's so unsure of myself. The Lord would send truth to me and helped me in one of the first. I remember in this particular study we had a guest teacher come one time. Her name was Jane, who was probably about my age now when she came to speak to our group and our members, she came into this living room and our teacher introduced her and James Sat in a chair and she began to cry and she couldn't talk and we were all kind of sitting around kind of,

and she tried to talk again and she couldn't talk

right?

And then she kind of compose herself when she looked around and she said, most of you in here are young moms. She said, I have a warning for you. Oh, do not make your children your God. Oh Wow. They cannot be your cod. They should not pay your card. Do not let it happen. That's advice. It was wonderful. I'm sure you were like soaking that up. It's like, I've never heard this. This is awesome. I want to tell you something. It was like water to my heart, a draw heart. Cause I didn't know, I'd never heard anybody say that. And the way she said it and at that time she had was one of the few women that, I mean people in this area that had like a thrift store for the poor. Okay. And she took her children every single Saturday. They spent their time with their mother there. She said, let your children see how much Jesus, she said, if you don't have time to make homemade cupcakes Pastore cup, that's okay. Focus on number. The number one of the number one is to seek as in perfectly as we are to let it leave your faith before your children. Don't make him into your God. That was life giving.

Yeah. And you, you need to to be filled up to be able to give that to them. I mean, if you're exhausted and Amory. That's right. That's awesome. That is exactly of time for you. That's exactly the cupcakes bought at the store. A homemade or both. Awesome. Let's be honest. That's why I bought delicious Bob pops. So, um, you are being filled, Betsy. You are being filled up by other, especially by Miss Jean and you were saying that, but what was your inner dialogue with yourself? I mean, how we want to get to, you were weary, but what, what

did you feel like? What were your thoughts like in each of those moments? I guess for me, black, I said I had one, I have wonderful children and I still do and I'm very grateful, but I bet most a lot of my days were taken up with feeling guilty and if I got a bad report from a teacher or if my child hit the neighborhood child down the street and I got a bad report, I took it so deeply and such in a, not an offense, that's not the widest sight. It grabbed me. I remember thinking, this child is five years old, I've already worried him. This child is in the third grade and they're the worst child in the, you just take it so hard. You know what Emory I do. That's why as a minor at the time, while you were taking them so, so deeply, right, it, I was in, I really thought, I thought, I'm already self-fulfilling PR.

I'm already ruining my children and look how they're acting. And I, uh, internal, it just made everything so personal. I would take it to the worst possible thing. And so there was just, I remember going to bed at night, I think maybe I said, and just crying and saying, you know, I've already ruined this job out there going to be okay. And I would just, I would just get Barry very discouraged and began to take my eyes off of, instead of praying for them, I would move immediately into the fear. Or what if this third grader might be, there'll be a sixth grader, maybe they're going to get worse or, you know, that kind of thing. Um, your husband was in the army? Yes. But was he there on a daily basis helping you? Um, I mean he had to see that you are so weary.

What, um, how was your home? And he was, he was in the military and he was home a lot. He was a wonderful help. I mean, he was very present, I mean very, very present and helped a lot. He was more of the military engineer tie, not real emotional. And Yeah, even to this day when I would remind him how emotional I would get, he goes, oh bad. See? Yeah. So they just was not part of some of the emotion. Certainly I would share and he would listen and he was there for his children and love them and encourage them. Did you have a breaking point where you just could not, you just couldn't take anymore? Um, parenting, I mean, you just maybe needed a break. Did what? Did you ever have a

breaking point? Well, I don't know if I had a breaking point, but sometimes, you know, with friends we would begin to plan things may be awakened retrade or something like that. And my husband was very good at letting me have, uh, things to look forward, to look forward to, to have a little breaks, to get away and have time to get him the same way. And actually

I know what you mean about things to look forward to. Right now in our home we have a count down in six days we will be laying on the beach. I am so happy and we've just been in a really busy season so I do know what you mean. And I have been feeling quite weary and a break in and vacation as much needed. So good job on your husband allowing that. No jeans, probably no shirt. I mean it's going to be minimal. [inaudible] um, how was your parenting, I mean obviously you have four successful children and um, loving children, you're still close to them, but I mean, would you say that you were good in your parenting and um, disciplining?

Well I would say I probably was not the SYEP all the time in my discipline. I Know God has been very merciful to my children. Add, did try to focus with them, focus on things of value, of kindness, and to be good to people and to be kind. And I remember one time when my children, I heard her laughing at somebody. You had just told her, you know, you don't laugh at people. They're made in God's image. It's, we are, you don't laugh at people. And so I would try and I, not that I did that all the time, I'm just saying that was at really tried to do that with my children. It's for them to have content or hearts and to laugh. God, that's what I tried it. But Tricia and Emory, I guess, you know, like with Jane Humphrey who came in and shared with us the Lord the gay, I don't know if y'all have ever read the book called silver boxes written by floors, a tower like 60 years ago.

And she, she said silver boxes. Every time you give someone encouragement, it's like giving them a silver box with a bow on it. And I read that book and the Lord sent silver boxes along the way. One was Jane who I mentioned to you one time, if I could just tell you about this one time I was at, um, at a restaurant in Birmingham. My husband was in the military. Was that reserve duty? Long story short, we were a real family restaurant and I went there because it was loud. So if my children were acting up, everybody else's children are blended right in to the crash of the plates and the other children. And as we were sitting at the table, my children were arguing about everything. They weren't age, like from two to seven, they weren't being normal. Well maybe worse than normal, I'm not sure.

But I noticed a couple, an older couple kind of watching us from some tables over and I went, they're probably thinking, whoa, she might need to learn to be a mother. And they just kept watching me and my children were getting worse. And then all of a sudden they got up to leave to pay their check and they came over to our table and the one, oh man, that's what I thought. And the ones going to be about what's this? And the woman leaned over and she went, you have such a beautiful family. She said, I know you are working so hard. She said, don't give up. Keep working. Keep praying. It's going to be okay. And you know, she walked away and it was like her words were like a silver box to me. And it like, it can make me sit up straight or like I can do this a little bit.

Logar they had no idea they had no, they really did. I wish I could go back and find out and I've tried to, I've tried to remember that and see other moms that look probably like I did hair aid with their hands so full to offer that encouragement. But the Lord was so faithful in the wariness and the exhaustion of it and the discouragement that he would send his people around the way to speak a word of yes. Kindness and hope. Do you still to this day look for those? I do. I do. So dance moments. Yeah. Yeah. That's all it's, remember we talked about this on the podcast in um, a previous episode, but we look for dimes in our day, not actual dimes, but dimes that come from the Lord. It can be a rainbow or it can be a pretty

cardinal or it can be someone bought me a cup of coffee or just simple things that, or Emory notices something that I did and he's just so thankful.

And it's just little times each day that you need to look forward to encourage you along your way. Absolutely. That's why I say we are all I know for me, I'm always in need of encouragement. Absolutely. And so start looking for the, you said it's a box with a silver bow. How sit silver boxes silver in her book I'm going to actually write is similar boxes. Well that show, you know the word encouragement, I looked it up because it had become more, more important to me. And one of the definitions of encouragement is it enlarges the heart. So what encouragement does when our hearts get kind of dry and wary, encouragement, seeing it being told, then it kind of makes the heart go whoop, kind of. That's so beautiful and it does do that. I thought that was so, I'm thankful for that. And I think one more thing if I could say it now that during this time, these years of being weary and discouraged, one of the bank things, probably, well not one are probably the main thing was three France now we started a prayer group for moms. When are, when my second child was in fourth grade and we met every week and we prayed and we still get together.

That is awesome. And you talked about Miss Jean and your friends that you formed a group with, but was there one specific person that really stuck out to you that helped you along the way?

Um, actually, I mean I had good pa friends that were my age, but probably my, my Bible teacher that I mentioned at the beginning, I not only learned from her what God's Word said, but I watched her and I watched how she loved people. And she lived it out. She lived it out. And See, I'd never been around an older woman of faith that had been a Christian for years and didn't just teach it, but she lived it and she lived it in a way. She was very honest. She would say when she had had hard days or she and her husband had had a fight and he was the pastor and they pray for us. She was very real. So she had a very comforting, it was very, very approachable people. Very approachable. They're like, absolutely. Absolutely. Absolutely. She's going through the same, exactly. That's exactly the leader and sort of saying, you know, I don't deal with any of these things. Exactly. Perfect. Or whatever. That's right. She was very rare in your life. It isn't like Trish said, you know, the story. She was not, she did not try to hide her stories that were hard stories to share and so she had the big, you know, she such a big impression on me.

That's awesome. Um, at what point did the weariness start to just fall off and that you really felt confident in your parenting? Was there an actual turning point? Right.

Well, as I got older it got, you know, it did become easier in ways and they all in school than they are went to college and those type things. And some of the physical exhaustion of course was gone. And you know, some of the emotional kind of comes in as children get older, you know, with adult children they are still the heart. But I really think like I was with with this the prayer group that I was in, that um, it was such a, we prayed for each other's families and we kinda made a rule, we were gonna meet for an hour a week, but we were not going to talk for more than 15 minutes because we found ourselves meeting and talking instead of meeting and praying. So that was just sort of, again, kind of part of that, how the Lord led this us four mothers together and we helped each other in praying for each other. And, but Trish answer your question. I think some of the wariness solid began as they get got older to do better. And certainly as they were in their twenties my children now are 39 41 42 and 44 okay. So they're that age. So some of the years they're still even with adult children. Yes. You know, they're still those things. She pray about course, but what is your most yes.

Proud of parenting. A moment. Something you can think back. Yeah.

And you're just like, I'm so proud of that. I kinda think really at the school my children went to as a Christian school and a one side of the report card where the grades and the other side was their character qualities and my children, one day at the table we were talking about their grades cause nobody in our family, it's like we're not like genius [inaudible] we're talking about growth, we're talking about grades and mature and said mom, I remember you didn't even care about the grades. You always looked at the side about being kind or being including with people and all that. Yeah. And so from a life standpoint, life skills and so I thought, you know, I was glad that they remembered may hopefully. I'm sure they have memories that aren't great, but that a focus for them was not whether they made all A's, my school had that report card mine, you know, I gotta use the character thing. I know. And you would have done well on that season or whatever else, you know. Well, yeah, I mean that was mated to learning. I didn't know that was a thing. I was, so that was just something that I felt like when they all kind of remembered that and by Owl taught about, they knew that to me that was, that was just something I thought, well, you know, with all the mistakes maybe that was something

that is beautiful. And it also shows like the character traits that are listed. Kind of like what a great job you really did do. And you know, so I think that's just really beautiful that you do remember that. Um,

well, um,

I'm sure your kids do confirm what a great mom you are, were, are still are, how you were when they were growing up. But, um, what is one childhood memory they share with you that they remember? How great of a mother you were to them?

Well, I guess one I would would just say is our youngest daughter, Elaine, was that all Bernan was very, very, very, very home sick and just, she called me and I was down there very, very quickly and we spent the day together and cried together and taught together. And She just told me that day, but then later or how very much she needed me to be there. And I almost hate to admit this almost didn't go. I think I had plans that day and I almost didn't take us really make that a priority. And I'm grateful that I did because that I think maybe was one of those times, I hope there were more that I did that thing that was the most important and she made that me and it's it stuck with her. Yes. And very impactful. So that was, I'm glad I did

you cherish that moment? I did. Is I do, yes. Chairs that are you sharing with other young moms in the to date? Like are you looking for those? I'm weary. Eyes are moments where you looking for maybe you know, moms where their hair is just not fixed or I mean they have some kind of Broccoli on their shirt. I mean, are you looking for young moms to share with?

I am. In fact, it's funny you say that, but I was in a Bible study recently and we were going around introducing ourselves and one of the moms with big tears said, my five-year-old is beginning to act in a way she's never acted before and I don't know why she's acting this way. And she began to cry and couldn't finish what she was saying. And I mean, my heart was so drawn to her so quickly, I could hardly wait for the study to be over so I could go talk to her because I didn't really know her, but I just wanted to be with her. I wanted to encourage her and I would love, I love to do it. I'm drawn to those mothers that I can tell are discouraged and weary and I want to share with them what you know from what my, my friend Barbara, but my friend Jane. Those things of prayer that looking back and truly for me looking

back, that's where, that's where that the most impactful thing I did. I tried to focus on this or that and all those things are good but praying, really praying for them and uh, just so I am Tricia, I'm drawn to those moms there.

I think you are going to be um, listed as one of their silver boxes.

Well, I would like to be, I would like to be because people had given me silver boxes. Now we'll be eternally grateful.

What would be one of the, um, maybe an advice you would give to young weary mom right now out there?

What I would say is make time to find one or two or three people that you will dedicate yourself to prayer. Because that is truly, I mean it's Christians. We say it all the time. That's where the power is, but it really is and it's so comforting. It strengthens it straight. Then mate, we'll strengthen the moms as they pray for their children. You know, prayers have a way of washing back on us and like c s Lewis says said, it doesn't change God's heart. Prayer changes us. And as we pray it washes back. And I think it maybe makes us see separately too. So I thought that would be the very first thing. I think I would probably encourage the five.

Well, thank you so much Betsy, for sharing with us today. We are so happy to have you and I'm just, you've encouraged my heart.

Yeah, it's been a wonderful show and thank you for sharing some, you know, some of those things that you don't always want to share people, you know, so that's great that you did that and I appreciate it. Thank you so much.

Well, Amory and Trish, thank you so much for asking me and allowing me to, it's good for me to write things down to then go back and go back over memories and remembrances. So thank you so much. You did great. A little bit. Yeah, it is. It is.

Well, I promised y'all a surprise, right?

Yeah. Apparently I'm the, I'm the, it's the, it's the surprises for me. Right? Is that the thing? Well, are you ready? I guess so. Apparently

today is national poem day. Oh, oh, right points. And most people have no idea. But Emory writes poetry. Yes. You write poetry and I, this is going and I'm putting him on the spot, but I will like for you to listen to one of his poems. And I had this idea for him to read one of his poems, which was on April 17th. I said I wasn't going to shed a tear when I pulled the poem poem. He wrote this on April 17th, 2012. And um, I just, I can't believe this. So I feel like this was supposed to happen. And um, before he reads this, I'm, I want to say that this poem came from a low valley in our life and the tangible and physical way we felt comes out so beautifully in this poem. So Emory, if you would read this,

yes, I would love to read this. My neck hurts with deception and lies. I feel the air leaving my body. The room is spinning. There is no control to be gained. Only more mayhem and chaos. The pain is so deep, it's hard to breathe, difficult to open my eyes. However, I reach up to the highest point. I'm exhausted

and beaten to a pulp, but I still reach North upward to the heavens. Grabbing hold to the true one. My only hope God has brought me here. It's a treacherous place, but it's the only way I'll know what's what. My breath now flows easily and the warm sunlight feels so nourishing on my face. My feet are light in my neck, fluid with ease of motion. My heartbeat's praise for my Lord, my God. My God has not forsaken me. The painful pruning has brought me to a joyous place. Thank you. Wow. That was Emery.

So as we close out, thank you so much Emory for sharing that. Not a problem. It's what I do. But one I ask you audience there.

One actionable step. M I want you to write out how you are feeling. Um, as Betsy said, you know, she talked about, she wrote out a lot of things and she'd looked at it to date and she just was so encouraged by that. So write out your story. You never know when you will have to share your winning ugly with someone. So be prepared and thank you audience out there. And thank you again, Betsy for being with us and um, remember to subscribe so you do not miss an episode and pretty pleased with a cherry and a pecan sandy on top. Rate us and write a review. We will be so, so grateful and don't forget we're out there on Instagram as well, the winning ugly podcast. Yeah. Thanks guys for all, for listening. There's a great show and a, you guys have a good one. Thanks for listening. When the ugly moments come, remember that light shines brightest in the dark. Love radiates brightest among hate life stance most boldly against.

Richie (Trauma)

Richie (Trauma)

Scott (Grief)

Scott (Grief)