Monkey Sea, Monkey Do

Monkey Sea, Monkey Do

Okay. Okay.

Isn't that a Turd? I heard that dude. Did you do shout that Turd rides the waves? What the hell are you talking about? Are you calling me a Turd? I'm calling you a Douche canoe. What does that mean?

Does any of the shit mean so far in between her? I really, we're recording. Yeah. Jeez. I really, really want to talk about sea monkeys. I don't want to talk about seeing month. This is nothing about some months. Did you not have sea monkeys as a kid? No. I remember opening the package for sea monkeys. Like the little like box and like you know when you get a toy it's got the cardboard and then the plastic over it so you can see it and it has this whole little like little bitty mini tank for them. And the eggs are in this just paper like packaging and you, you, there's this whole process to get them to like grow and to live. And I was so bad at it because I was so impatient. You were supposed to like do something to the eggs overnight and then whatever.

And I remember one time like, cause this, we bought them multiple times to give me multiple chances cause my mom was like, well we can keep the sea monkeys alive. I'll get you something bigger. So I put the sea monkey eggs in super early. You can give a fuck about like fertilizing that whatever you have to do with them. And I thought they were dead. I was like, well they never made it. They never hatch. They never anything. And um, I opted to not throw the tank away. And so that tank just stayed in my room for weeks and one day I was like looking at something on my dresser and I look at the tank and the mother fucking sea monkeys had lived there. Like there's this whole lake upstairs, can't survive you. But see monkeys can, well they hadn't been fed, they hadn't been anything.

Woo. I don't know how they even hatched. They shouldn't have. They never should have had. Okay. What is the sea monkey? It's, I don't think it's a Chris Station. It's, it's like a little light. They look like little monkeys. No. What do they look like? They look like little sea creatures. Oh, I've never seen a sea monkey in person. You've never seen a semen? No. Oh my God. This was a man before I my see monkeys. I was just like, okay, I'm kind of caught the dog. I'm kind of contemplating actually getting sea monkeys again. I don't, please don't kill Maria. It is a crustacean. It's, it's a hybrid version of Brian Shrimp. I love you, but I don't think you could keep sea monkeys alive today. I think I could. Okay. I don't know. Still is a lot of work. He's my beat dog is barely alive.

The dog is spoiled rotten. She got, she got a parasite from you though. She did not get the parasite from me. Yes she did. She didn't use let her sleep in your bed. The dog did not get mother effing GRD. A from me. Yeah, I will. We would know if I had GRD. It'd be shitting weight. That's STD, right? Oh my God. So done with you. Okay. GRD. I don't have Giardia and I don't have an STD. Just for the record. Stella had you already had. She is fine. What a slut. She's undergoing treatment. You get GRD. A firm like unclean water. She probably drank it out. One of the Goddamn rivers we've gone to or all the like little bowls of like water outside the pots. This shit. I hate it when the baby does that. I'm like stop. So gross. I didn't even know she had one until we making another inbetween her about dogs.

Fuck. We love dogs so much. You don't want to, I think we should talk about what, why? Why is the real house wise so fucking amazing. He gets such good television and I don't think people realize it. I just, these women just, I look up to them and I admire them so much and yet I'm sorry. Why are you don't know. Tell me you don't admire Bethany and Lorenda and Ramona and Sonya. I love all of them. And the

Atlanta housewives, like these are some strong, a badass women who put themselves out there for other people to see. They're all fucking crazy, but that's like the best part. Bitch. Do you know how many older crazy women are? I know from my friends moms in class school, they were crazy as fuck. They were like these women. The only reason I would ever keep up with housewives so I could watch the reunion with Andy Cohen. That is, he is become a shady lady.

I love, he's such a Sassy gay. Oh my God, him and his kid. So cute. So I fucking him and Andrew says he together with some, Oh, who is he by him if he's single dad like, oh no, I think he has a husband. She's married that picture with Anderson Cooper. His best friend is send us a picture and the group message and was like, want this to be a real thing in real life. How adorable would Anderson Kubernetes Andy Cohen be together? They would be adorable. I mean, oh my God. Come on. Have you ever read the sex rumors about Anderson Cooper online? No. Like him being in New York and being really into bears and him and his partner, like have an open relationship now. Perez Hilton and I mean this is like stories from people in the gay community. Does that change? Do they every change your view of someone and knowing about their sex lives?

Tell you. I didn't know Anderson Cooper was gay until like maybe the last five years. I had a massive crush on Anderson. He came out like five years ago I think. Yeah, but like everyone knew he was gay except me. I didn't know. I also didn't know my uncles were gay until I was in high school and they live together. Just thought they were roommates. So there's that as well. That's probably what my nieces thing, six years old, they were like, oh Ruby's. I literally was like, wait, y'all are together. Yeah, and I was like, y'all aren't just roommates. He was like, [inaudible] you think you answer my question? Do you judge people on their sex lives? So why would I just making sure it's nobody's business. I know I don't judge people for their sex lives unless they're like, the more bodies you've, the body count is, the better you are as a person. I know about that, but I see where you're going with that one. I love you, Adam. Your body count is low. Don't even know what I'm saying. His body count is high by he smiling.

Well you know, I feel like, hey, if you're still live it up, things pop. I've completely at slept moments. I know. And I love you for it. I prefer you at your sluttiest times. Dude. You're like such reckless. Well I didn't say your sluttiest and drunk his times. Just your celebrities. I feel like when you're your sluttiest you're like all female empowerment. Like I don't know, you have this aura about you. I love it. I live for it. I'm just saying like it's great. It's definitely a liberating and, but here's the thing, I feel like sometimes you're a little bit ashamed of it. I don't think I'm as ashamed of it as I used to be him. And it's so crazy cause that's like, like one of the big, I don't know when you have the attitude about Ya. I just love that. I really do.

You walk into a room and you're like, Bam Bitch, I'm here. You're like, get broken up with morals I guess. No, no, it's a very like I dunno, exploration cause that's Kinda what it's been like. That has been a very freeing feeling. Yeah. To not feel ashamed or embarrassed about just wanting to have sex, but this sexism in that gun, I feel like that's what really seals, here's the thing that you get this big like, okay, I'm gonna call it, he wants to call it big slut energy, but it's big Dick, your energy. You hit this big Dick Energy about you and then the sex is you go lip, you're like, I put myself out there for nothing. Exactly. I feel like all this, God damn, you go, oh my God, we're going to have sex. We're going to do this, we're going to do this. And I'm like, yeah, you come back to me. You're like, it sucked.

Like no, I've been very mediocre to like lose hope on all day. Like sex is very overrated at this point. I feel like you know yourself more than I think I two in my head. During sex you get nervous, nervous. I really don't get nervous, but I get very like once the foreplay is over, I start getting very mechanical about

everything and like thinking everything like should I suck his dick now or in five minutes? What should I do? Very like, this is what's happening. This is, this is what's happening, this is what he's doing. That's what his penis looks like. That has happened where I've been like, oh my God. Okay, cool. We're rolling with it. Like, hello. Hi. How are Ya? Really like this is terrible. Obviously everyone's beautiful the way they are. I have yet to like really be disappointed by size. Just disappointed by performance. No. Yeah. Is it really about the motion of the ocean? It really fucking is and it's really lacking. Let me tell Ya, I'm sorry. There's no current right now.

You should throw in one of those talking vibrators. I have to run a vibrator into sex. Before you did tell me this, why don't you tell me this, you're going to tell me on a podcast, but I don't know this in your real life. The vibrator worked better than this. Where you put some like popping sounds like through text message where you say congratulations and it like put that sound. Well, I'm open to good sex. Our legs are open. I repeat. Do not follow me on Instagram. Oh No. This is the time where you're going to get some weird creepy, oh God. Put Your Instagram on private. Yeah, immediately. Oh, women have it so hard. Hopefully no one really knows what we look like. All right, well then maybe they'll see a picture of me and they'll be like, oh, just kidding. I doubt it. You're hot.

Thank you for listening to this in between her for your wiener. Follow us everywhere and follow us everywhere. Don't find her personal social media. Please don't follow me and message me. I'm begging you and I genuinely mean no, but you can send me all the Dick Pics you want. This is Zachary team, I assume is ad Mashburn. Oh, and we could like, you can send me your kid picks and do like a collage and put their Instagram handles next to each. Oh my God. And then print it out and put it on my wall. I could, we could sell that ship or some serious, let's do it, but they, y'all,


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Internet Etiquette

Grab the Bucket

Grab the Bucket