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Death

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Hi y'all. Welcome back to millennial prop pod. This is Zachary Tse and my BFF a g hi as your cohost. And you might be wondering why we have a short episode than a long episode than a short episode than a long episode. These shorter episodes are called our inbetweeners and you know, we understand we're annoying and we sincerely apologize for wasting your time. So we try to condense the, uh, you know, every, we give you a break once a week, you know, it's short little options that you do like listening to us. We provide this in between her exactly on the off chance, very off chance where you're like, okay, well we actually had a listener bring it up to us that they were a little confused by the time differences within the podcast. So I'm glad we're clarifying. Yes. And um, but for this inbetween her, which, you know, we usually keep them, why about 15 minutes or less a this in between her is about dead.

Woo. Yes. Subject. Well, you know, I feel like, you know, millennials are getting older. The people in our lives are dying. Oh my God. Older people's are older people are [inaudible] and so I feel like, you know, we should talk about it. Okay. But let me, let me start talking about like talking about death, but let me talk about myself first. Okay? Okay. I don't have a fear of dying, like in all sincerity, like if I were to die, may not a big loss to the world. The thing is, I'm afraid of how I'm going to die. I don't want to die in a fucking car wreck and suffer. I don't want to die jumping out of a plane or a crash or something. Like if I get murdered, don't poison me. Just shoot me in the head. You know what I mean? Quick, courteous out.

That's how I like it. I am totally okay. Afraid of dying. And it's not about being afraid of how it's going to happen. I am afraid of dying. Like this is something that keeps me up at night. I didn't know that about you. Oh, I am. No Pun intended. Deathly afraid of it. Ooh, good one. Well, if you had to choose a way to die, how would it be? Well obviously quickly, but your sleep, I don't know. I don't want to think about it. Like the concept of dying is terrifying. I will. We will because I think mine's a deeply rooted, constantly asking myself like is there another life after this? How does this work? Or we turned it does and I'm just going to put it out there. Selfishly, I don't want to not exist. I'm terrified of not existing after death, like just being like just not being me just being turned back in to start us.

I'm fine with it cause I'm a terrible, I feel like here's the thing, I have really bad anxiety, like really bad. Like I can't get to sleep. Sometimes I think about, I replay things in my head that weren't a big deal and you can ask my husband Adam, they were not a big deal and he's like, why are you so obsessed with this? You didn't say anything wrong. No one's mad at you. Whatever. And it's just my anxiety. Yeah. And I have all that shit to worry about. Like, honestly, I'm not worried about if there's going to be afterlife, whatever, I'll deal with it when like this life right now is when I am, my anxiety has gotten me written over. You know what I mean? Like I like however I die. It's important to me, but fuck, and I don't want to have a heart attack. I don't want be that fat guy that has a heart attack, you know? Oh my God, I wanna, I wanna I wanna die. Like, okay, I want to die so I can be on the podcast. My favorite murder. If someone murders me, y'all have to submit my story to them so they can tell it. I don't want to think about you dying. Oh, I don't think about you dying.

It's I'd rather me die. Then you die. Cause then I have to deal with it. If I were to, if I were to die and I got to pick how I was going to die, I'd want it to be doing something that I loved or doing. Getting choked out by your boyfriend while you're getting fucked. Okay. Yeah. If I were to die, I would want it to be doing something crazy. Like you don't do crazy stuff though. I don't know, cliff dive, you know how you would guy, you would go camping, you would cook something and eat it and it not be cooked all the way. You would die in the woods like that guy and that your favorite movie. Oh, he says carries the

saddest in between or we've done well, let, hey, let's, let's change it. Let's change it a little bit. Let's talk about funerals.

What is the point? What's the point of a funeral? I don't want to go to a funeral. No one invite me to a funeral please. Like, I just don't want to go to a funeral because it's so sad and depressing and it's like, my God is, I don't want a funeral personal. I don't know either. I want a party. You know? I do think that funerals serve a purpose for some people. It's, it's, uh, people get to mourn together. It's, you know, people don't feel so alone in those situations because I can tell you from experience that I don't remember much of my mother's funeral. It was a long time ago and I always did in different headspace, but I was around people. I was forced to kind of share my burden with other people and then I'd go home and I'd be alone. I would be in my room alone.

Okay. I see that. And so I don't, I don't love the whole kind of aspect of a funeral. It's too formal. It's very formal. And I don't let, don't invite me to one either cause I don't want to go to one. But it's, it is a place for people to kind of have common ground and let their walls down and, and be able to connect. I get in fights with each other and be dramatic. I don't want to be that bitch in the back in a big black hat and a beautiful black dress and I'm the one that slept with a guy that was dead and nobody knows me. That's how I want honey. If there is an afterlife, you were going to hell good. I'll be with my people. I heard Satan was hot tier on via via.

Well, it's one of those things I feel like I think we take tests too seriously. You know? But that's so easy for you to say. How's it easy for me to say like people that I love dying? No, no, I'm not saying that at all. But like in certain situations, like we don't know what that person means to that other person. I mean it, it, there's a point where you don't really have a choice on how seriously you take it. Sure. But I feel at the same time, it's one of those things where I've had people, am I alive who are suffering and suffering and suffering, suffering and then people are sad that they're dead. And I'm like, I, and I get it. Like missing that person that I think it's a more of a base they are, but it, you know, they were already gone beforehand when they were those.

It doesn't, it doesn't mean we're any easier, it doesn't make it easier. It's definitely like losing people who are really sick or really suffering. There is an edit at anybody who says there isn't is lying because there is an immediate relief when you know you might be sad, but when you know that that person is no longer you sleep again. Yeah. But it's, it's definitely, I think part of it's not even, again, it kind of comes from a selfish place of it's a lifestyle change. Like your having to work your life around the fact that that person is not there anymore and it's a completely different world. Yeah. And my grandfather on my dad's side, like I was really sad when he passed away and when he did, I was actually out of the country. I remember my, my mother, my grandmother, sorry, told me like not to come.

Like she didn't want me to pay four grand round trip to come to a funeral and that kind of thing. But I remember there were people like my family members who were like, wow, well I guess he's not going to show up and Dah, Dah, Dah, Dah. When I was out of the fucking, you know what I mean? Right. And that's more of what I meant when let's not take death so seriously. Like he's fine. I'm not there, my God. I mean, you know, he to be enjoying your time. Yeah. I mean if my grandfather could have anything, things for his family to be happy and that was me, drunk and Ibiza, you know what I mean? I was like, he would be very happy though. Just because it's a common place for people who are suffering doesn't mean that that's how everyone suffers. So like I'm never going to feel guilty for being like I'm dealing with this in my own way.

I'm so sorry that I'm not there, but this person's no longer here. This is my time to grieve and I'm going to agree of however the hell I want to. Exactly. And I think also deaf is a heavy subject in any conversation. And I think if your show processing something, especially when it comes to death, I think maybe therapy may be the best place to start. Yeah, and I, and I understand your friends are there and your family are there. However, putting that kind of burden on someone at first before you can process all your feelings. I think she'd go to a therapist. I really do because I feel like no, no one should have to endure. You know, cause we've all lost somebody and we all know how that feels. No one should have to endure their own personal loss and someone else's before you've had a chance to process how you feel.

Right. Because when, when people pass away in my life that I really love, I'm a fucking mass, I'm a disaster, you know? Well it's tough because I think partially when someone dies, I have a hard time grasping the concept of going to therapy initially instead of going to people I know because those are people that I trust. Those are people that might've known the other person. That's what brings me comfort. But I definitely think that therapy, like you can't put everything on someone. I think it's important to lean on your friends and let them be there for you and as friends, they owe that to you, but in a sense of, you know, they are your family, but it's also, this is your burden to bear, not somebody else's. My question to you is if I died, what would you say my eulogy or what would your eulogy be of me? Because you're going to speak at my funeral, right? Yeah. Or my part on too, but my party, you're partying. I'm on the first line. It'll be, well, he was a bitch, but I see that's all I got. He was a bitch. Mine would be a view, a g scatterbrain messy, a current loving, caring kind. Also Silica, but very self aware with also being a little self-involved. She was a person, but the best kind mic drop. Boom.

That's very, you know, I feel like I'm Leslie note. She goes, Oh, I've got to change what I'm going to say at your eulogy to Ron Swanson after they go, I think they go get steaks or something like that. The captain, my captain. What is that? Oh, captain, my captain. I don't even know what that means, but it's funny on that show. Well, I think if we all joked and talked about death more in a very, in a more casual conversation, I feel like that would make things easier. Maybe. Overall, I feel like it's too ceremonial. It's too formal. If I do have a funeral, I want people to show up in flip flops. Yeah. You know, I want it to be on a, so this whole black wearing black thing, bitch, I need a pop of color from you. Okay, honey, I need you to show me.

Okay. You know what? Actually for my funeral, I want everyone to remember this. It's on, I want it to be a fucking fashion show. If you didn't spend less than $500 on your outfit, you're not allowed to come. I want like a little ceremony out, like in a field somewhere or something like that. Like strongly. I was like, I like a wedding reception or something, but then I want my ashes to be planted in a tree. Oh, I didn't even talk about that. I want to be cremated to. Yeah. I want my, I w I think we're, I don't know Adam. I haven't talked about it that much, but before I met Adam, I wanted my ashes to go with my parents. Um, there's this little place, uh, in the smoky mountains where there is like this big river and waterfalls and stuff, and I wanted my ashes to go with them because that's where my parents want to be too.

But I don't know, now that I'm married with Adam, we may find somewhere else. Yeah, please. To call your own. Yeah. Maybe Iceland. That's where we got married and wants to have the best sex of our lives. Oh God. All right. I think we're, I think we're done. Well, thank you all for listening again to the inbetween her for your wiener if you wanted to. I hope everyone understands what an inbetween her is now. I think we were just saying it and just assuming people would know what it is without describing in between [inaudible] for the twinks out there, but if you don't mind, if you like our podcast, please rate our podcast. That helps us show up in other people's like recommended for you lists and shit like that.

Um, please follow at prop od on Twitter and then at millennial prob pod and that's too old and too ends at on Instagram. Um, again, any dick pics, any make it digs into at Zachary Mashburn on Instagram. But yeah, thank you for listening. It was fun to talk about death with you. I felt like we made it more fun. Bye Bye.

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