Grab the Bucket
So I saw this video today on Instagram and I think I sent it to you and it's this, it's like this group of girls and they cannot be older than like 10 or 11 yeah, they're really young and I don't, it was, I don't remember what song it was, but it was, I don't know, some hip hop bound, Blah Blah Blah [inaudible] booty song. It was definitely torque worthy. It was work, work, but it was not worthy of like 10 or 11 year olds. That was the craziest Shit I've ever seen. And then I thought about it, I was like, what kind of parent would I be if I had children? And with everything that's going on right now and the shit that I see younger kids doing, I'm gonna lock my kids in a basement and not let them out. Like I really just can't. I can't subject them to this.
They have to be better than this. Can I be honest with you? I thought it was really innocent. I didn't think it was at all. Like I thought it was innocent. I thought was a group of young girls having a good time. I think you sound like a Mamo. I don't honestly see your 10 or 11 year old and a shirt like here, like twerking. I mean if she's with her friends, why not? But why they're just hanging out having a good time or not doing that. When there was a neuro 11 I was, you are not a bit, yes I mother fucking was. I was dancing on the pole at my grandma's house when I was a kid. What do you mean? No, I wasn't dead. Bernie's beer songs in my head is, there's kind of a bigger picture to this though. It's no longer, it's not this like innocent like, oh we saw someone else who like kids are getting it now because they're subjected to it much earlier. I just don't want kids to grow up thinking that that's like, it's great. Like I think you should do whatever you want to do and be who you want to be an express yourself however you you wish to, but I don't want kids growing up thinking that that amounts to everything that you are or could be.
Fair enough. I think though when it comes to, I guess everything that we've gone through for us growing up and seeing the stuff we have on TV and seeing, you know, the introduction to reality TV and all these other things, you do have a point where you don't want them. Do you think that's everything about their culture or their personhood? However, I also think it, it is part of like my culture and personhood. I really do. Because you think I became Sassy overnight just by myself. So let's say that it's a balance. I just, it's, it's frustrating. Not Fry isn't even frustrating, but it's kind of annoying to see everything that's on Instagram and Facebook and that kind of thing. And it's very like the things that I see kids posts are indicative what they see other people post and I just wish sometimes I saw videos of kids doing, you know, something a little more substantial, something with a little more substance, something that makes them feel good about who they are because they're smart and they're, you know, I shouldn't, you want to go viral, but that's sad.
Well, and also that could have been a group of girls and they put that on their Instagram and they, one of the May have had 12 followers and then it came became viral from that. You know what I'm saying? I don't know. I think we're just too hard on kids. Either way you, we want kids to be fun and be open and be loving and be themselves, but then we're like, oh, you can't emulate some stuff that you see that's part of the worldwide culture. You know what I mean? I feel like we can find a balance in everything, but not everybody's going to be happy. Nobody's going to be happy with those little girls. Those little, those little girls could have been out there on a field Farman for homeless, broke Hungary ass bitches farming for homeless people. Bitch, I don't know. I'm just, I don't know.
They could be out there farming people be like, well they should have done this for, you know, the hurricane disaster in blah blah blah, blah. You know what I mean? I mean, I know that's not what you mean, but I feel like I hear a lot of people, not just you say these things like, oh well I wish there's more to this and a big picture and everything like this. But I feel like those are probably just some girls in their preschool. They were really young. They were so young, you know, you know, they probably
volunteered the homeless. They probably do all these other substantial things, but none of us see that. You know what I mean? But they're doing those things for other people. I want them to do stuff for themselves as well. And like I said, it's not that I don't, I think you should do whatever you want to do. There was shit that I was doing and I am not proud of now, but it's cone around two girl.
I'm no judgments to any 11 year olds. Listen, I'm just saying it's a balance. Okay, fair enough. I'd like to see more encouragement within social media, you know, to do things like stem and you know, that kind of thing. And I know that that's not viral. I know that's not cool, but like I don't want that to be the only, I guess I'm not really blaming kids. I'm blaming older generations. I don't want kids to grow up. And that be the only thing that they see. Well our generation paved the way for that to be anything they see. So I mean, you know, I felt like we turned out all right. We are a mess. I was dancing on the pole at my grandma's house and he hall [inaudible]
hey guys, urban millennial prompt pod. I made g and this is Zach.
Sorry. I just want you guys know I'm not very good at hosting and I know we [inaudible] not good at starting. I'm very good at giving my opinion. Very good. At ending. Apparently I'm not. So this week I'm really excited about this. I thought we would talk about being alone, being alone or loneliness or both. I think both. I think when I kind of have like different viewpoints on it because you're married and I'm not, but um, thank God. But um, yeah, I'm super excited. I think this is going to be a good one and we have a game. I'm not sure how you'd gain height to the theme that actually is. And the Games was not at all to change a little bit because Zachary t is currently not drinking like the little bitch that he is. Um, and I have a glass of wine right here, but that's not really, I'm going to be as sober Sally for a little while.
I just, I hate waking up everyday like shit after drinking. So I just don't think it's a good mix. I support you, but what's the game we're gonna play today? So it was going to be answer, like drink or answer. Um, but I have a feeling we'll actually answer each other's questions. We're, we're fairly open about everything. What's the rules? Well, the rules were if you passed, you had to take a shot. Ah. Um, so if I pass, I guess I'll chug the rest of this wine. And then if you pass one, I guess you'll check your water. But um, but it, it could get interesting. Okay. So we eat, we ask each other five question questions and we have a, we can pass on two questions and these questions, we've talked about it a little bit before, we don't know each other's questions, but we did talk about how deeper we were gonna get.
And I got a little deep with mine. I don't know about you. A couple of minor, a little deep, a couple of minor, just very horrendously inappropriate. So, all right. What's this game called? Does it have a name? It was truth or drink. Truth or hydrate. I will play. All right. I want you to go first. Okay. Uh, I won't start it with a deep one. Adam's in the room. It was a book. Oh, I think you're going to give a fuck. What's the craziest thing you've done to please your significant other? Oh Lord. Craziest thing I've done to please add. Um, oh yeah, threesome. Okay. And that was hard. I mean, I didn't want to do one, but you know, I geared up and you know, like it's one of those things I've always wanted to try, but I'm not really into, but I tried it probably gonna try it again. No offense, Adam, you have to experience it first to know you don't want to do, it's the same with crack and heroin. I really was thinking when he was holding up the three, I was like, wait, but I put four knuckles in you.
I was like, wait three way. I was like, I put four knuckles up your bad. But I didn't think that was the most, we're all gonna get fired. Um, my question to you, speaking of this was one of my questions, how much money would it take for you to do anal? Oh, how much would it cost? You will probably get lots of email responses. I have plenty of money. Most, here's the thing, I'm not super into the, I'm doing sex
and getting paid for it, so I probably wouldn't do anal period. Okay. But hypothetically, as I say hypothetically, if there was an amount, maybe 50,000 okay. Yeah. Fair. You had to calculate all your bills in your head? Yeah. How much will it be to pay off the student? Low and then the car. Alright, my next question. Oh No. Craziest thing you've ever done.
Hi. Craziest thing I've ever done. High weight. If I'm really that high, probably don't remember. No, I don't know. What have I done? Crazy. I think the movie theater was pretty intense. No, you were just way too high. Like there was another grazie about it as a normal transaction. We got our ticket, we we're trying to go in. We didn't know what was going on. I don't know the craziest thing I've ever done high. I will tell you the one and the only time I've ever gotten high and drove, I stopped at a green light.
So I feel like that's the greatest thing. And I did not, I've never driven, I was like 19 years old. Like I was young. I'm never going to drive high ever again. I think it's stupid. I don't think it's a good idea. I feel like people who go, oh, well you can drive high, you can drive high. That just annoys the shit out of me. I think you're stupid. You don't know anything high people do stupid shit. Anyway, tangent over. All right. Thanks for answering. I answered it with a little bit of possess. Yeah. Who is the better half? Zack or Adam? Oh Man. Oh, Adam's. My husband. By the way, this is not fair. It's very fair and we just fought he right before y'all got here.
Yeah. My best friend that Adam is more level headed. He's way more levelheaded. I'm sorry. I don't have a favorite half. Check my wine. Sugar, wine. Your pattern. I get two passes. Yes. Chug a lug. Look, I can't believe that's the one you skipped. Wait till you get here. These. Oh my gosh. You know you only have two right girl. She chug that entire glass of wine. You are you? Okay? Have you ever caused a wreck? No. Really up. I take it back. Yes. The only reg I have ever been in in my entire life was my husband. About a year after we met or was it the same year we met? I don't know, but I was playing with the thermostat in the car with my toe and just going back and forth, back and forth, playing with, I don't even think the air was on and he got so upset that I was doing that and he kept saying, stop, stop, stop. And so he pushes my toe away and misses with the thermostat and hydro planes and we spin on the interstate like three times into a ditch and, and the hole. I was on the phone with my dad too. They were spinning around like three times on the interstate and I'm going [inaudible] we're both screaming. And I was like, Zach, Zach, what's wrong? And I said, oh, we just got in a wreck. We're fine.
So yeah, I have calls a wreck with my big toe. That was not the response I was expecting. I don't even want to ask about your rex. Let's just whoo. Whirl girl. All right, my turn. So okay, I met the deep questions now. If you could change any one thing in your life, what would it be? To keep things on a surface level? Probably having the routine that I used to have. Um, like going to bed at like nine every night and waking up at like five and going for a run and being productive during the day. Like I really miss that and I, my sleep is all over the place as of now and I'll sleep in like I did when I was in high school. So probably just having a solid routine and eating at normal times. Um, I thought I'd have more energy and would be more aware, so yeah, make it, it is, but it's fine.
When did you know that you are in love with Adam? Why are we making about this? About him tonight? Oh, um, I knew I was in love with him. I think it was like our third date and we hung out all day and I was going to meet a friend and gets in Alabama for hot wings at Jefferson's and gets in Alabama and we just had a really good day or whatever and I was holding his hand and we were talking or whatever. And he
is about to drop me off and before I get out the car I go, you can't say it back unless you really mean it. I love you. But I don't give them a chance to say it back. I like run out of the car.
But yeah, that's, I mean, I knew like right before I told them that how much I loved him and I need him for three days. Since we're talking about loneliness and being alone, I want to ask you when, when in the past two years have you felt the most alone? Probably when my grandmother died because I think with any death, um, people can reach out to you and you know, you have the support and it's not to sound ungrateful by any means, but when you deal with something like that, you, you typically like you're aware that you're the only person that can go through that grieving process yourself and it's a very lonely process. Um, so yeah, probably and also like I have not been genuinely single since I started college and that can be very lonely as well. And I know that sounds weird and we'll get more into that, you know, when we actually are in the main subject.
But I think college was also like a very lonely time for me just because I was constantly seeking to fill this void as a mess. You were. But yeah, I mean that, you know, constantly dating, constantly spending the night with people constantly, you know, seeking like someone's affection that that brings its own loneliness for sure. Yeah. Cause you're not giving it to yourself. You're looking forward and other people and that's not how that works. But I feel there's also a sense of not being alone in that. I feel like so many people do that well. I think it's because you're scared. Like, cause there's a difference in being alone and being lonely. Yeah. A massive difference. Okay. I'll ask you your last question. So I asked you about what's the craziest thing you've done? Hi. What's the craziest thing you've done? Drunk. Oh my God. Crazy.
It's like I've done drunk, the version of my ever drink. I'm not gonna say whose house it was, but I was 16 years old. Um, this boy that I had a crush on was like 21 at uh, you like older men that I worked at. Hell yes I do. He was 21 and the biggest crush on him and I just wanted him to think I was cool and for him to like invite me to hang out with him and stuff like that. But he was totally straight to you, which I didn't get the memo back then, but uh, I asked him, Hey, can you buy me some alcohol and I'll come pick it up. Cause he lived right behind my house, my parents' house. And so I pick up the alcohol and he goes and I was like, oh, what are y'all doing? Like he was hanging out with some brands, like, what are you doing?
He goes hanging out. And I was like, oh, cool. Waiting for him to invite me to hang out. And he never did. So I went to my friend's house, we got drunk together. I got, I drank probably 75% of the bottle of vodka myself. Svedka by the way, disgusting Smirnoff that goes, okay, Smirnoff is terrible. And I drank half. It was, I know at 75% of it, it was like the watermelon flavor too. And so like ice shit. Yeah. And I don't know how it happened, but I fell down the stairs into my friend's basement. Um, and they came down there and they had a bucket for me and I'm just throwing up my guts and everything like that. And her, her mom, she had to have known, she goes back, she goes, oh, what's wrong with Zach? Is He, did he get your wrong, blah, blah, blah.
They're like, my friends are like, oh no, he didn't get drunk. He just had food poisoning. And she goes, oh, okay. I hope he feels better. And I remember waking up the next morning, the first time I ever got drunk and I thought this was how it's going to be for the rest of my life. I felt fine. I was totally okay, ready to go. I hate, I woke up the next day and I told my friends, Hey, let's do this again tonight. And they go, fuck no. Fuck you. We didn't get any sleep. We're taking care of your ass. You invited a boy over here and you'd even know it. So yeah, that was, hey man, this is so dang dude, I don't have crazy story. My craziest stories are with you because you act so fucking nuts when you're drunk. Oh, I mean, I've
passed out in front of clubs, I believe fallen asleep and my own throw up like this is, you're an angel babe.
I know you're an angel because I know what my limit that I want to go home and eat and watch housewives I've done with the party lifestyle and the marriage must've changed you bitch. I was a light. Doesn't even before the marriage. All right, so do you have one more? Are we done? We're done. Oh well thanks for playing. That was fun. That was really fun. I feel like I do not condone getting that drunk ever. Yes. And I do not condone driving while high. No, absolutely not. We recommend being responsible. People get high as fuck at your house with your friends. You can eat food together, watch TV shows and pass on your all the time that you make such good breakfast sandwiches. Yes, but I enjoy the game. Thanks for playing. Thanks for being honest. Yeah.
Zach, have you ever needed a date for an event or needed someone to bring home for the family to get off your back?
Uh, no. I've literally been with Adam all my life.
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I have lost so much God respect for you. You are not the only one. [inaudible]
so let's talk being alone. Damn. Okay. Well I really, I really do want to talk to Greg when it stop. I want to talk about this. Okay, let's talk, I'm not excited to hear this, but why is being alone such a bad thing? Well before, before we even, cause you know, you and I, we always go, especially like the beauty babes episode, we were like, oh we're not going to get too deep into this Bible. Like that's all of our conversations have a very specific route. I want this conversation. Yes. And this is part of it, cause I did some research when you gave me this topic and I feel like this is a good way to kind of start off, especially when we talk about being alone or loneliness in the realm of being a millennial and a sickness study reveals loneliness is at epidemic levels in America.
And this is like a scary title. And I hate when they fucking do this a cause. I feel like people are probably felt alone even before now. Well yeah. You know what I mean? Like they felt, I felt this alone before for context. The evaluation of loneliness was measured by a score of 43 or higher on the UCLA loneliness scale, blah, blah, blah, blah. It's a 20 item questionnaire used to assess feelings of loneliness as well as social isolation. Nearly half of Americans report sometimes or always feeling alone or left out, one in four Americans rarely or never feel as though there are people who really understand them get this generation z is the loneliest generation and millennials and millennials that were right behind them. Um, and before we even get to the whole, is social media a big impact on this? Is this social media driven our loneliness based on this study and survey?
It is not social media. Contrary to popular belief is not a predictor of loneliness. People who were heavy users of social media, what I planes had a 43 and a half loneliness score while people who had never
used social media before ever at a 41.7. So what is a little bit higher? Yeah, by two points. And I don't, I don't think that loneliness stems from social media, but I don't think it helps regardless. I kind of want to preface with like what I want this to kind of look like. It's our, our version of what lonely means. It's going to look a little different just because you're married and I'm not, and I'm not in a, you know, serious, longterm relationship. I think growing up in the south, it's, there's kind of this cookie cutter
life that is
not expected, but it's the norm. Especially where I grew up, like the suburbs I grew up in. It was, you know, you go to a state college because state colleges here are huge and you come back, you marry someone you went to high school with or marry someone you met in college or you know, somewhere kind of around your general local vicinity. And that was never going to be the direction I was going to go in. And I was always fine with that up until fairly recently because I think as an adult, like as a, you know, as a kid you have a parent who is kind of influencing the way you view things or you know what's right, what's wrong. And as an adult you're kind of like left out there to to figure it out and experience it yourself. And well I can sit here and say I'm completely comfortable with not being in a serious relationship and not settling down and not having to be surrounded by a million people all the time. I would be lying because the environment that I'm often in or the environment that I've kind of overdramatized or over emphasized my salvage, this is definitely a personal problem. This is a flaw of my own. I oftentimes wonder like, is there something that I'm doing wrong? Why do I not feel okay being by myself? And that stems from a lot of like other emotional things as well. But yeah,
still kind of out of the norm to be in your, you know, younger twenties, mid twenties and not be in a serious relationship. Well,
as far as relationships go and everything that has its own different aspect. But even, I mean, friendships, I have felt alone in friendships and I have felt loneliness from different friendships. I think even going back to, I mentioned earlier about the Internet, um, and talking and also relating that to what you just said about living in the south and having a cookie cutter life and that's the goal. I remember being, uh, 11, 12, 13 year old kid and I was a kid of the Internet and I'd had a myspace, my parents didn't know about it. I had a Facebook, my parents didn't know about it and I, have you ever heard of this game called a Hobbo hotel or Habbo hotel? It was like this online chat room where you could buy coins and change your, when a yes, but a lot more mature. You could say a lot more on Habbo and do a lot more than you could ever do on club penguin.
And I remember I was so addicted to that game because at school I felt like didn't belong. I was going through a rough time at home, not because of my family's fault or whatever. I was just a fucking difficult teenager. Like when I turned 1213, 14 years old, I was a kindness to everybody and I was so mean to my Maritz, my sister, I hated them even though they didn't deserve to be hated. I found solace and I found happiness and I found, found joy. And I found peop people and friends on the Internet, on this game who are also, they're all my age. Um, and I felt like this group of friends that I always hung out with on this website, and I felt less alone than I ever have in my teenage years. And I feel we always try to crack at social media for blaming. We blame everything on social media. Kids got shot. Social media, kids are being too slutty, social media, everything like that. I don't, I feel like at this time that this time of my life, even though I felt so alone in every normal cookie cutter situation, school work, what have you, you
know, I felt really good being myself online, you know? Well I think it kind of speaks to a broader picture too of
it's not, it's still not the natural way to be alone, to be single, to not be tied to someone, to not have, you know, go out and get drinks with like this massive group of people. And because my biggest thing has not really been with friends, but it has been with dating and the concept of marriage in the concept of having kids and you know, all of this kind of, you know, these ideals that are somewhat ram down your throat as a kid, this is what it means to grow up. This is what it means to be an adult. And I am getting to a point where, and it's not coming from a bitter or prudish or like Crotchety, like you know, perspective. It's coming from a, I don't have to be with someone to be happy. And I think that's my point in all of this is your happiness based off of societal norms is well you must be with someone. Have you ever felt alone in a relationship? Oh totally. My last relationship specifically constantly felt alone. Constantly felt just as alone as if I hadn't been with that person. Yeah.
Well let me tell you, I got to say I fucking love my alone time. Love you Adam. But there are sometimes I just don't want to be around anybody. No offense, I don't want to be around you all the time. Yeah. You know what I mean? Like I just thought all the time either or.
I love being alone and they are just some days where I would just give anything in the world just to be alone by myself all day. And I don't know why I'm like that and I don't know. And you know, I've been kind of struggling cause I feel like people have made me feel bad for feeling that way. Like bargains you more social, why aren't you this? I just, well this, you know, the stigma is you have to be around people all the time. You have to post on the Internet all the time or do all this. I'm just like bitch, I barely got at my house for a reason. I don't trust any you bitches, you know and you're all loud and annoying and I just don't want to be around you. You know, basically at the beginning of time we have the Bible, you have historical documents that the base, everything off of the Bible is a historical document.
It all started with like man and woman and this being a very like physical, mechanical. Basically the relationship is for rape production. Love is not. But at the same time there was always like man and woman and my, I would rather be happy with someone than you know, be with someone and feel like shit. And that's the thing. People, the relationship and the thought of it and the idea of that is more important than how they're treated and then how they, you need to put your heart happiness first. Always Bitch, if you happy, how the hell to go make somebody else happy? Can I get an amen up in here? I just wish that like kids that were younger, even people our age kids, I'm just saying, or even people our age, even people that are older than us, that it's totally okay to, and I'm like on this whole soapbox about this and people are gonna think I'm really fucking lonely and really want to be in a relationship.
But it is, she cries to me all the time. I always have to tell myself, you are always going to have to go to bed with you regardless of who's next to you. You're always having to go to bed with you. So it would be best if you went to bed happy. I don't, there's no reason. Just because someone says like family member says like when are you going to settle down? When? Cause like from my grandmother's, this will haunt me forever. Her one of her dying wishes basically she was dying for months was that she, that I was with somebody like longterm with someone that I was going to marry and that sucked because there was a part of me that wanted to appease that and make it happen. But it's not something when you can force and Goddammit, I'm putting myself first. I mean she wanted jewelry plus from sorority too.
She did. I mean it's just, but it's, this is not just like my grandmother. This is a small example. I think people often confuse being alone with like bitterness or not trying hard enough or not, whatever. Just because I'm working on my degree or working full time or going out with friends or living my life and having all of these visceral experiences by myself does not mean I'm lonely. Again, huge difference in being alone and being lonely. And the Cheetah girls said it best. We're non lonely. Wait, we're not WWE effort with this. You don't talk about that song. No, I'd be lonely, but we're not alone. Cheetah says with Santa Ever noticed that? Um, it's never quite the same with straight men. With straight women it's always, when are you getting married? Who is the guy who's whatever? And I don't see that happening as much as straight men.
Well, since we cannot speak right now, I'm just saying it's just purely based off of the observation women. I mean just think about guys that has forties or 50s like women that the women like the view for women have changed so much in the past 10 20 years. I mean clearly we're getting pretty regressive with the, about Alabama abortion bill and all this bullshit. However I feel like ask her grandma, all the cookie cutter expectations everyone had for her or probably way more harsher than they are for you. But I don't think they've changed that much. I really don't. And this is specifically speaking about the area we live in. Okay. I remember my grandmother getting forced at 12 years old to marry someone. Well, they might have changed it a little bit, but the general concept of getting married, having children, this is whatever. That hasn't changed that much. Well, I remember I told a lady the other day, I said, I don't know if I want to have kids and she's older. She said, you're probably gonna Change your mind. I'm like, but that's the thing is like, why do you, why do you want there to be more kids? Are Jay People? Nobody's fucking busy. To me, first of all, there is crowded. It's nobody's fucking business. If you're in a relationship, if you want to have kids, it's, it's nobody's business. Boom. Thank you. You're welcome. Mike. Drop.
I don't know. I just, I feel like the stigma surrounding loneliest loneliness, especially for millennials, I feel it makes it worse when you have articles come out that say it is an epidemic, that these people feel so alone. I think part of that though stems from, I think millennial, you know, and generation z like priorities are a little different than our parents. So in some ways it has changed, but I don't, I think we're such a different breed almost that it doesn't our, our, our kind of view on life and our perspective is very different than like our grandparents or our parents. I think a huge part of that is the motherfucking Internet because how else do you share those ideas? Because I mean, I've been pretty liberal as it goes my entire life. Thanks. My parents, my parents especially where they're from or extremely liberal, we were some of the lucky everything.
I felt like the dissemination of information that we're, I'm ha, um, really helps spread those ideas. And I feel as if the Internet is one of the huge reasons why people are way more. I mean, just think about the idea of gay marriage. 10 years ago people were against that shit by the majority 10 years ago. I feel like the Internet is the reason why we have this cultural shift where women can be more of themselves. How else would we have gotten the women's March without the Internet? You know what I'm saying? I also think it has left room for some things to be less genuine. I think we are constantly with our faces in our phone. I don't think anybody knows how to actually ask anyone out anymore. Do you feel like that's because people feel more alone? I think they feel very comfortable not having to have personal interaction.
I don't think, I mean I think maybe subconsciously there is a loneliness factor to it, but I think that people are afraid of confrontation. People are afraid of of human interaction, depending on which way it's going to go, whether it's negative or positive. I mean, hell, I never thought, and there's nothing
wrong with them. I never thought I would be on dating apps. I never thought I'm serious though. Like I never thought that was going to be a thing. I always assumed that if I was going to go out with someone or have fun or when it was going to be that somebody just came up to me in person or that I went, because I've always been a like I have no issue going up to other people, but it's, it sucks in some ways, don't you feel the most alone rejected online? That and also like looking at other people's posts and that kind of thing.
I have to remind myself that everybody, it's, but I do too and it's not healthy. It's not, and I feel more alone when I'm mad at someone and I stalk them. I don't know why I do that. I'm just a crazy human. I'm a crazy person essentially, but I, I don't know why there's something in me and I think that speaks to loneliness to where if I'm upset with someone, if I'm hurt by someone, I like stock internet or if, if I'm trying to get over something, I just, I go to it to relieve this loneliness and it never actually relieves that. I definitely wish I could be more present. I mean, even if I go like camping or, or take some amazing trip, like my phone is still in my face and I'm showing other people, you shouldn't be alone. You shouldn't feel lonely.
There were like sitting by the campfire all on our phones and it sucks ass because it, it makes it so hard to socialize. Nobody knows how to socialize anymore. There are, they're like these awkward part, like especially dating for example, if I go on a date with someone I met on Tinder or bumble or whatever, you know, they're these kind of moments of like we've either said too much via text message and so there's nothing to talk about in person or we've never met face to face. And so it's this awkward like we think we've gotten to know each other, but then we're face to face and it's a completely different story. I'm trying to think when I have felt the most alone. And I think earlier you mentioned about being single versus being married. I feel like, I mean Adam and I have, we've been here almost eight years, married almost a year.
I feel like the last two years there have never been a time where I have felt extremely alone because I have him and because I'm like, this bitch is stuck with me. He leaves me, I take half of everything, which is nothing. And I'm just like, I don't know. I feel, I feel like I would be in a very different, and I'm easy and you know, it's easy for me to sit here and be like, oh well this and this and this about loneliness or whatever. But at the same time I have to recognize the fact that I'm never really alone. I mean, you know, and I just, I have to be more empathetic to other people my age because I can't imagine being 25 years old and trying to navigate Tinder and bumble and grinder and all these other things to like feel less alone.
I think it's going to be to recognize too that it is totally okay to be alone. It's totally okay to feel alone, but like I think you're misunderstanding what I'm saying. Like it's totally okay to focus on your career and focus on you and focus on what you want. Like you don't need another half to dictate your happiness. And that's easy to say and that's easy to hear. But I just want to say it's okay to feel lonely. Absolutely. Okay to feel alone. You shouldn't beat yourself up because Gracie sat here today and said, you need to love yourself niches, and it is, it is totally okay to want to be with someone. I'm not saying that you have to be in this mindset of like, well, it's just going to be me anyway, so it doesn't matter. But what I'm saying is it's real. Everyone was always all the time saying, hey, don't be alone. You should always be happy
with yourself. Be Happy when you go to your bed. And because I've heard this from many people and a therapist and all these other things, but I've never really heard anyone say like, it's okay to feel lonely. It's okay to sit there and be sad. It's okay to cry. Don't beat yourself up over it. Totally. You don't deserve
to beat yourself up over this. And it's everybody's human view. I'm married at, I still feel alone. Yeah. When I don't get asked the night that I want it, I feel alone. I think we are way too hard on ourselves. Millennials, I think we're too hard on ourselves about where we live or where we don't live. We're too hard on ourselves where we work or where we don't work. We're too hard on ourselves. And then a basic human reaction function is to fill alone and fill loneliness and we beat ourselves up over it.
We got to start with never want to have friends
look for someone because they are feeling alone. I want my friends and my family and people that mattered to me to just, it kind of happen because it's not going to happen the way you want it to anyway. If you're seeking it. It's not this like, you know, well this is the ideal person, this is who I need, this is whatever, you know, focusing on yourself and being the best person you can be, you will end up finding someone who is doing the same. Totally. Okay to feel alone. Totally. Okay to say love for friendship. Absolutely. You're searching for friendships because I'm not someone who keeps friends very easily because I'm a terrible human being. No. I get real mad and I blow up and I hurt your feelings telling you the truth. T. So with that being said, it's okay if like you feel like you don't have any friends, it's okay to feel like it's okay to not be surrounded by 20 people every time you go [inaudible].
Exactly. You don't have to. Also, I remember you were like, Oh yeah, I don't like to go to parties because I like small intimate groups and all this other stuff. Stop telling people these things. Stop saying I like to do this because of what no one cares what you like to do with a group of people or what you don't like to do. Just be your damn self. Don't sit here and go, I don't go to parties because I only have social gatherings with a few of my friends and yes, you weren't invited like don't do that shit. Fuck you. And also no one should make you feel bad ever about coming home, taken all your clothes off, putting on housewives, getting high and eating yourself to death. If anyone ever does that to you, you tell them you are not my friend. Fuck you. I love you. I love you too. Thank you. I hope if you feel alone and it's it. Remember we said so Katie full alone. So if you don't want to reach out to me, you don't have to. I think you can always call me or text me. I think you do that.
Why am I telling you this? This is something you already do and I call you when I feel alone and lonely. Definitely. Other than Adam, you're the first person I always call. Like today, he didn't pick up as I called you. Oh, the truth comes out. I told you earlier, you're my number two son.
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Well, this was a good discussion about loneliness being alone. I hope we did a good job covering it. I think there's a lot we didn't get it right. Yeah, I mean we can't really go into, I mean, we can have a loneliness part too. Like we're gonna have a beauty part too, for racking up these. Part two is man, well there we have so much to say. Uh, well I think we covered it all. I think we did too. And if you like us, you could, you know, subscribe to our podcast, millennial proud pod. I don't, what would help is you need to tweet about our podcast and post it on your eyes. Don't tweet God. I have enough social media as it is. All right. I'm not a tweeter. You don't send twats out. No, I don't.
You can like us on Instagram followers on Instagram. Follow us on apple podcast anywhere else. You get your podcast. Yes. And follow off the highway cass on Instagram too. That's free rate productions. There's a website link in there. Check out the off the highways. You can also check out this lovely no freeway production thing. This little little review we just got. Oh my gosh. Awesome. Yes. From podcasts unleashed. Thank you for listening. And you know, we really think the 3.7 how to five you gave us was super generous. Like we really appreciate that and for you to put us on your website. Incredible. So thank you podcast, some leashed uh, the rider rates podcast all the time. Check out their website, check out their social media. They're on Twitter and Instagram. We're expecting a five out of five next week for the show. Thank you for sitting with me on the couches. No, a problem. A little buzz. Now from the line, I check spread to gauge man. Marta the game. I'm a little hydrated, but I love you.