It's Not You, It's Me
I want to talk about jaundice, googling it. I've always been told it's from like drinking. Oh, I'm sure. It's like that's what causes jaundice. I talk about how I have the widest I do, but 20 years from now if I keep drinking the way I do, you're going to be saying something different to me. This episode brought to you by lumify $18 and you can have the widest side. I pay for it because like sometimes I'm going to have to sleep and my eyes are red the next day so that's fine. The shit out of my eyes. But they look sparkling white. You always tried to make me put that stuff in my eyes when we got the a move. That stuff. I give you the regular vide xen when we're really high because I don't want you to like be out in like [inaudible] went to the movie theater and we were standing at the like the ticket booth.
Oh God. Yeah. You had no idea what was going on. I had no idea what was going on. The guy at the ticket booth had no idea what school he had no idea what he was like. He goes, okay, you can go now. Like we just stood there for 30 seconds. Is that a free ticket that I gave you and that we saw Gretta. He was like, is there anything else? And we were like, no. He's like, okay. And so we walked away and that's how that happened. That wasn't even like the funniest part was I couldn't control my laughing laughed so much. My husband Adam was in the line, we're getting popcorn. And he was like, what the fuck did I get myself into? I mean like both of us were laughing so hard and I had no idea what I order in our eyes cause it was the, it's the diamond theater.
So I ordered and I was like, what the fuck did I order? I don't even remember. And we got our food. He's like, did you order Brussels sprouts? I'm like, I don't know. He was like, did you order our brusselsprouts? And I'm like, I ordered them for you. I don't know what I ordered. I'm, you're opposed to order him a burger and you did Brussel sprouts? No, I ordered a burger and Brussels sprouts for him. Adam something. And you didn't know. He was like, I don't want anything. But I knew if I didn't get something, he'll bitch later biting you. Get me anything. That's how our relationship is. It seems like a healthy one. Oh, very healthy. Like ours. Healthy, healthy, healthy.
So thanks for joining us on Millennium. I'm a g, I'm Zachary, t A. K. Zack Nasty. That's only my rap name. We don't talk about the serious shit on this or try not to, I feel like millennials get a bad rap. And so let's talk about real millennial shit. Like we don't have to talk about what the Republicans really want to hear. Yeah, yeah. They really want to hear this. I'm sure we have many Republican listeners. Millennials status. Yeah. So I want to play a game. What game? It's not really actually a game, but I, so we don't want to play a game, but it kind of isn't a sentence, but it came across my mind today. Like the hole, any Agram thing? Like do you know any, what the fuck man is? Enneagram Anagram, no enneagram where you mixed like the word oh letters and basically one of your like run of the mill.
Although this seems to be kind of the, the fad personality test right now, but it's like I enough j exactly, exactly. Myers Briggs. It's numbered one through nine. Oh, okay. And you have like the reform or the help or the achiever, the loyalists, enthusiasts, you know, kind of titles like that. And I thought it would be fun if we figured out what number each one of us is. So how do we figure this out? Um, so let's start with like what each one is. So I have any Graham institute.com pulled up reliable source, some kind of brief explanations of each. So the first one is the reformer, the rational, idealistic type, principled, purposeful, self-controlled, and production. This not us just mark it out. We thinks you might be a little bit of a one. Me? Yeah. Just a little. A reformer. Oh, I love that. I'm a very caring, interpersonal, demonstrative, generous people. Pleasing and possessive. Oh, the achiever. Success oriented. Pragmatic. This is three, right? Okay. Adaptive, excelling, driven. Image conscious. Okay. Individualist.
The sensitive, withdrawn type. Expressive, dramatic, self absorbed and temperament. Oh, we know someone like that. Yeah. Yo Ass.
The Oh, the investigator number five. The intense cerebral type, perceptive, innovative, secretive and isolated. The loyalist number six. The committed security oriented type. Engaging, responsible, anxious and suspicious. Kind of feel like I'm like one of each of these. The enthusiast, the busy, fun, loving, type, spontaneous, versatile, distractible and scattered. And this is number one. Reason number for me because I will forget the challenger. The powerful dom rating type. Yes. Self confident. Decisive, willful and confrontational. You are eight. Okay. The peace maker. Number nine. The easygoing self emphasizing type, receptive, reassuring, agreeable and complacent. Neither of us. I don't know, man. This is hard. Okay. Which one did you say I was? And tell me why. I think, well it's tough because like I said again. Okay, let's name two. Okay. Name two that you think I was and I just forgot the list entirely so I'm, so I think you're partially eight.
The challenger, powerful, dominating type, self confident, decisive, nominating, willful and confrontational. Dominating. You can love distraction, dominate, love to start. Shit. Well I wouldn't say I love to start shit. I feel like, I think you, you can just put stuff under the rug and just forget about it. Me Though, I don't let people run over me. I don't let people, you know, do whatever they want to me, whatever. I'm very the type that's going to confront you if something's bothering me because it's gonna make me feel better at the very end. Cause I feel like, and I'm not, you know, saying this is you like every day you and also Adam is very, my husband is very similar in this regard. You let things build up and build up and then you're like upset. You see what I'm saying? I, yeah, I agree with you.
I don't think I ever, at least for the most part, like occasionally there will be something that just makes me snap, but usually like you said, I actually just kind of like try to give myself time to move on on my own as opposed to like, so I think overall the thing is you move on but then you let people still do that same thing again in the future. My thing is I don't let people, if something's bothering me and I asked you to like stop, I'm not going to let you keep doing it, I'm going to call you out on it. You see what I'm saying? Like, but that, I think that's also which one is like the more like you're more of a forgiving nature. I think I'm nine. I think I'm a peacemaker, easygoing self emphasizing type, receptive, reassuring, agreeable and cool.
Easy going except when we go camping. But I feel like you're pretty easygoing. I think I'm very easy going. Yeah, I feel like, um, there's only been certain situations where you weren't, but at the, for the most part I think you are. I feel like I'm easy going to like an extent. Yeah. Like I feel like shit, if you're doing something that ballers me, I'm going to be a number. What eight we're gonna learn. What were the other ones? What, how else would you describe me? I think, I think you're a loyalist for sure. Committed security, security oriented type. Engaging, responsible, anxious and suspicious. Yeah, that's me. I definitely think, yeah. So that's a one between six and eight and I would like very suspicious. You are. And I'm very, um, you know, security and like, it's so funny cause you and I like, it's amazing that we mesh the way we do because you and I are polar opposites.
I mean I trust everyone, like to ways law who it's, yeah. And I'm like, Gracie [inaudible] and then you always come back later and I'm like, well, I'm always right, but I don't tell you that I need to have a number 10 that just says a bid. That's me. And they can be, but there's also like seven, the busy, fun, loving type, spontaneous, versatile, distractible and scattered. Oh that's you. But you're scattered as have you seen your fucking car? Why does the car keep getting hot up in the pies? I go in there and just trashed Paul's out of that car and I'm like, how do you live like it's stressful. It really is. Well, I can
imagine that goes back to like the complacency with number nine. Like it all makes sense. But I do think I'm a very like busy person. I think that's part of it is I'm constantly on the go.
Well, not for anything important really. You're very socially very social. Like I can't, I cannot, you don't like being alone in one. Is there one that's like hates being alone because that's, you hate being alone? Well, let's see. I that would probably fall under number two. Like the caring, interpersonal type, demonstrative, generous people pleasing and possessive. I would say. I wouldn't say you're possessive. I try not to be, I don't think you are. I feel like I, I've like, you're not really people pleasing either. I think it depends and I'm really glad we brought that up because the theme for tonight is relationships and breakups. Oh, you know, I've only been in like one real relationship, right, right. The person you're married to, a person I'm married to. Well he got me when I was 17 and I was young and I was ripe on the tree. It was legal in the state of Alabama. Slowly.
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so our topic today is breakups. [inaudible] this is a little bit of a touchy subject right now. Why is it a touchy subject, right? My Ma currently kind of in the, in the midst of what our, it's already happened and it happened a couple of days ago. I'm sorry. That's nice. It does suck. It really sucks. I, yeah, a little emotionally unstable at the moment. But do you mean like the first day it happened you were like, I'm okay then got really fucking drunk and, okay. Is that where you're headed? That's basically been every night is that happened. Happen where I'm like I'm fine, I'm good. And then shit hits the fan. Normally shit hits the van though. Like when I'm in the shower cause like I'll be fine. And then like all of it will hit me as like the water's coming down and I'll just like sit there and cry for like a solid half.
I've only seen you cry like once. Oh well that's not very pretty. So I try not to. Um, so it's not, not a good little, why are we talking about breakups? It's certainly like not a taboo issue, but I think it would be Kinda nice to like go into, you know, kind of everything that is encompassed within a breakup emotionally. Like I think that's something that needs to be talked about more. Do you think, uh, millennials have a good like understanding of breakups? I mean most of our sirs still in like our twenties. Well I think that's like the big question, isn't it? Like when is it actually like when is the drama, you know, when is it appropriate for it to be a dramatic and like when is it appropriate to tell someone like, yes, this is what you should be feeling. Or like yes it has.
It hasn't been that long. Like you shouldn't be that upset. Like who are we to tell someone how they should feel after like a certain amount of time or like your relationship and you just got out of how many months was it? It was nine months, but like it wasn't on. And also it was a long distance relationship. Well it was only long distance the last like a month and a half or so. Um, and it became kind of more official after probably like three or four months. Something to keep in mind. Did he come from an entirely like different cultural background, different world. But ultimately, you know what's funny about that though is that like, you know, at least from the breakup standpoint, that really had nothing to do with why we were breaking up. It might, it might have, like there might be something within his personality because of where he grew up.
But I don't think that's what it is. I think this was more of like a human to human, like how I'm feeling. But anyway, like I kind of want to talk about how it affects someone's mental state, how it might affect the other person's mental state, being the person to break up, you know, and kind of the differences between those two. And I think it honestly depends on the health of the relationship. But, you know, it's never fun being the one broken up with no. And you were, and I know this cause I'm your BFF, uh, you're the one who was like, I'm gonna break up with him. Eventual was you are the one planning it. You were the one you're very confident in like being able to play on that. Yeah. So like what happened? Like, why I think ultimately, you know, we broke up over some major kind of personality differences.
Um, you know, we, he was someone that was very, you know, logical about things and very black and white. And I'm very, I typically like lead with my heart and my emotions, which gets me in trouble a lot. But yeah, just kidding. And so I think that was a big part of it. And I also think recognizing like, I think it's, it's interesting cause like this is something else I wanted to talk about, like realizing shit after the breakup. Well, have you, did you realize if you were a different person or not during the relationship? Like do you feel like you were different? I had normally were, I don't, and I could be totally wrong. I, it's not that I think my personality changed, but I definitely think I was adhering and submitting to things that I wouldn't normally had I not been dating that sexual or do you mean emotional or do you mean emotional?
I think, excuse making, you know, which everyone does within a relationship and um, you know, just kind of compromising is a really good word. Um, but isn't a good compromise though if both people are compromising. Oh, cause that's what compromise is, right. Finding a happy, well another thing to point out, like after the fact, I feel like, you know, there wasn't compromise and can we be friends or not? Well that's, that's, you know, the question is, is the question, can you be free? Even after like, let's say six months from now, you see him at Winn-Dixie or trader Joe's like wholefoods, but what the fuck I ever, I don't give a fuck you fucking white ass motherfucker. Wherever you see this bitch. Like would you like eventually be friends? Like would you give each other a hug and be like, oh my gosh, how are you?
I miss you. I'm going to follow you again on Instagram. I haven't unfollowed him on anything. Well I'm just saying like, would you be, would you I would be civil. You know, I, I, I struggle with that and that was like a big question I asked myself after we broke up was, you know, you be civil after the way he treated you. Well, let me like first put out here. I know the way he did it. I don't think he's a shitty guy. He's not, he's a great person. He's really like not a bad guy. Um, I just think, you know, he's very focused on himself right now and that's okay. Yeah, he has a career that's launching into this, but I don't know that we would ever, I don't know. I mean six months from now I'll be in a completely different head space and I think that's always kind of like the question as well.
Like also long distance. Yeah. That doesn't help. It doesn't, and it doesn't help if like the relationship kind of gets more established during long distance. Like you're having to find that connection while that person is not there. Well, something I feel like for this entire relationship that I admired about you is as a gay man who has mostly women friends. I, most of my best female friends, actually all of them, except for you change when they're in a relationship with a man and not to say it's a bad thing, not to say it's a good thing or whatever. Not to be judgmental like I'm not coming. We all grow up different perspective. But what I'm saying is I feel like you didn't lose a part of yourself in that relationship, which I think is pretty admirable. I don't think you change, I don't think you viewed the world differently and like rose colored glasses, you know what I mean?
I feel like you were still a g. Yeah. You know what I mean? So I am just, it's one of those things where I feel like a lot of people lose themselves in relationships. I've had so many friends in a couple that I've actually lost because same of the dynamic of our friendship. After they started dating someone, they were just a completely different person. And oftentimes people will isolate themselves when they are dating someone, which sucks because you know, I'm so glad I didn't do that. Like, I'm fortunate enough that I did have a pretty decent head on my shoulders as far as that was concerned. Um, because the often times those people get out of those relationships and they have no one, they have no one to go to because they have isolated themselves. Lately, I feel like especially, you know, I gotta be honest with you, you were talking about relationships and breaking up.
I've had like three real relationships and one of them, I'm married to the person now that I've been married to for Orwell, married almost a year, but we've been together almost eight years. I've had lots of friend breakups. Yeah. And just Yaz stating I had a group of friends that I lost in like early 2015 and that, you know, I had a dream about one of them today when I was taking a nap. I had a dream about them. It's not something that like ev hasn't gone away yet. What's the line? I don't mean to cut you off. I just want to make sure our like listeners understand it might sound dramatic thing like lost I 100%. Any sort of relationship that I have with someone feels like a loss. So I feel you on that almost like, and I can only say this because I've been through it multiple times in that first initial like friendship breakup or you know, intimate breakup.
It feels like a death in a way. You are losing that person. It is devastating. It is devastating and it's something that it doesn't, you know, it does go away with time, but how much time does it take? This was four years ago. People will always be a pilot or dreaming about these people today. So I've personally never been broken up with, but keep in mind like I'm not bragging about that. Like I've been in like three relationships, just a reminder. Um, but I've been broken up with by friends and I don't think it's any easier. Um, I don't think it's any harder. It's just different because, you know, I feel like with relationships you have certain, you know, you love each other, you want to fuck each other, you want to do all these kinds of things. But with like friends, like I feel like for a lot of different friendships I've gotten on a very deep level where it's like brotherly, sisterly, sisterly, sisterly kind of thing.
You know what I mean? And so it's, it's like losing someone in your family. I agree with you and relationships too, like with an intimate partner, it's, it's definitely built up in a sense. I mean you have to build that trust up over time, but at the same time when you're dating someone, you're, you're letting that person most likely, not for everyone, but at least for me, like I'm letting that person infiltrate, you know, personally much more than like a friendship for me, that becomes like a very close one. It takes time. Like you and I were not, we were, we got close fairly quickly, but we were not best friends right off the bat. We're still not best friends. I'm quitting this podcast. Let me make you suck ass. Literally. But yeah, but what I wanted to, I kind of want to like make this a little bit more lighthearted than just talking
about just straight a break ups because I might start crying cause you look pretty sad, which you should be.
I mean this happened just a few days ago happen Saturday. Um, March. You don't have to list the day we come thing 2019 five days on record, five days ago on record. Um, I just want to say, or I want to ask you, have you ever texted an ex being really drunk or really high and being like, oh my God, whatever. Funny Story. And the only redeeming part of this breakup, I was not redeeming at the time, but it's funny now. I was stoned as hell when he broke up with me. I remember that like baked out of my mind. So can you imagine someone calling you and saying, Hey, I don't want to be with you when you knew all day though, that he was going to break up with you. But I also, there's always a part of you that's like, I'm being paranoid. I'm overreact. Really. I'm really high, like it's, you know, and then I get a phone call and he's like, babe, I don't want to be with you anymore.
And I'm like [inaudible] exactly. Have I ever, oh my God, yes. I have. Maybe not like ones from like years past, but like within a couple months timeframe, I have 100% like texted some. Okay. I'm just going to, this is going to make me feel better to talk about this. And I feel like the statute of limitations on embarrassment is up. Probably not. So I dated someone like roughly probably a year and a half, two years ago. I don't even remember. And um, he was a, I found out as we were dating when I started like spending the night with him that he was a drug dealer. Oh, I know who this is. And um, you know, I still have your parent or did you get that back? I'm getting to it. Okay. Sorry. That's the story. So, and so anyway, I dated this guy, found out was a drug dealer.
I really did try to overlook that. I was like, it's just part. Right. And keep in mind like, I mean, I'm not going to like name the state we're living in, but it's still very, very illegal. And it was something that like I just could not compromise on. I could not, it was, I was like, what? You know, I don't want to like be spending the night with this boy and either one of his like buyer's like bus stuff in here or like the cops bust up in here because all of these white boys think they're so, like immune to anything ever happening to them, especially the ones that grew up in the suburbs. I grew up where you live right down the street from me. Yeah. I was like, what? And, uh, so anyway, I broke up with him and the next morning I thought I was really gonna feel good about the decision I made.
And I was like, Eh. So I, um, I actually like went to his place and was like, let's get back together. I don't know what was going through my head. I really don't. He was like, fuck no, your crazy. That shit's not happening. I think I'd really kind of destroyed him. Like we'd been broken up for probably a week or two, maybe a little bit longer. And um, I had brought, I was cooking dinner at his place one night and we'd gotten in like this huge fight. I remember, um, called me after [inaudible] so, well because that was supposed to be dinner for us and he knew I was cooking dinner that night and it's supposed to be very chill cause like he wouldn't ever go out. So I was like, all right, we'll do it here. And uh, all of his like friends were there and I was so pissed off.
So anyway, but I had taken my grid, this like heirloom pan that had been in my grandmother's family for like a hundred years, ancient baking pan. And, um, after we broke up, I realized I had left it there and I was never gonna say anything cause like, and I know this is going to get some backlash, but I don't give a shit about any of that for the most part. I really don't. It's a fucking pan. My grandfather went ape shit and was like, I don't care what you have to do, you need to get that pan back. And I was like, okay. So and I hadn't said anything to him cause I was like, he already thinks I'm crazy. Like he thinks I'm insane. And so one of my other friends and I were out one night drinking and we were not drunk by any means. I don't think anyone would, I don't want anyone to think that I'd ever like drunk drive.
But we'd had just enough, they were non drunk, they a little tipsy. I got the phone call before this operation, we were just, we'd had just enough to be like confident enough cause you know you do shit when you're out. Wasn't like they were, you know, so I was like well his roommate doesn't think I'm crazy yet. I was like, let's just go get the pan. I was like, he's probably at work cause I knew what his schedule was. I was like well just knock on the door Chris. We'll answer. We'll get the pan and we'd get and pull into the parking lot. And I pussy out completely and I was like, alright, go get the pan. And so I make my friend go up to their apartment and she texted me and she's like, oh my God, no one is answering. This is so awkward until she, this is not even like really be embarrassing part.
It gets better. So she, she gets back in the car and I was like well I'll just text him and tell him I need it back. And I swear to God this only happens to me. This should only happens to me as we are leaving the apartment complex. He pulls in and this is not some like apartment complex that like all of my friends live in that like a bunch of people I know he's the only person in that Goddamn apartment complex that I know and he is pulling in as we are pulling out and I kid you not like five minutes later I get this text message. He's like, what are you doing in the apartment complex? I was like, how do I do damage control and not look any crazier than I already right. Oh yeah. Cause we used to like break into their pool all the time, like he wouldn't even know we were there and while we were dating like anybody could just walk.
Oh yeah. And so I was like, yeah, I just really like need this pan back. And I thought maybe I could get it back. And he was like, well you can just come get it. And so I, I went to go get it and he literally was like, he's like just rolled down the window and I'll give it to you and we have this very awkward brief conversation. And he's like, well I'm going to go and like walk into the apartment. Well I have a story about an ex friend. This was 2015 or was this 2014 like the big blizzard, I think it was 2015 of the south. Everything shut down. That was 2015 that was 20 no, 2014 yeah. Okay. Anyway, I walked to the liquor store and I grabbed a bottle of Jack Daniels and had this friend who really kind of fucked me over.
And so like we stopped talking or whatever. Um, and so my friends and I are taking shots in the snow on campus. We're all Ras, resident assistance, whatever you want to call it. And I get really drunk. I go back to my room. And do y'all remember the show? The hills? Oh my God, yes. Do you remember the spinoff with Whitney? The city? Yes. Okay. So I was obsessed with that show. I bought this, by the way, I thing they're bringing the hills back. That makes so happy. But the city was amazing. Gina and what's his name? Just yes, yes. Yep, Yup. Hi, Justin. Bobby and [inaudible]. I've ever dated. Well, the city was the spin off with Whitney. She moves from Laguna beach or wherever they're fucked. They're from to, uh, New York. I was want to say yeah and whatever, and I was just so into that show or whatever and you know, it's not real, but that's about friends, backstabbing each other and blah, blah, blah, blah.
So I send this bitch a text and I'm like, Hey, just so you know, uh, fuck you. But if you ever want to apologize, I'm right here. Just let me know when you're ready to send me a sorry or whatever. Get in a real fight. I was like, Hey, just, you know, if you ever want to make up with me, you're more than welcome to. And so a, I wake up the next morning was blocked on all social media was I guess hang right, like it wasn't right. However, at the end of the day you were hurting. I was hurting. And also she was a huge cut, so she deserved it. I've gotta be honest, so I didn't handle it the right way, but that was the thing. Kind of, at least you recognize that. Yeah. But also I wasn't even 20 was I 21 in 2014? Not yet. I wasn't even 21. Yeah. Can, don't underage drinking. We do. If you're in a rage, please drink as much as you can. Just enjoy your life, get high, do meth, heroin, whatever. Just kidding. Neither one of us have done anything. [inaudible]
but, um, I was like, you know, it made me feel really good. I was like, and that's not something I would normally send to someone. That's not something I would normally even say this. I mean like person to person. Like I would normally not say that and I'm certainly not saying that you should ever like, like it was so cathartic as it is. And like you definitely like better as a line to draw where you're like, don't want to go to jail so I shouldn't do this. But like you are in a completely different mindset when you're hurting. Yeah. Like you and you know. Oh my God. Do you remember um, meeting because, and we're talking about like friends after we're relationship that's at my house was quaint. Can you make me sound like such a horror? You really do. I mean you fucked straight and gay man, but I have never fucked the gay ban that I'm aware of.
Well, do you remember? So there was one guy I tried to stay friends with after we broke up. And you met him on the couch in my house. I don't remember. Yes she do. The dogs were barking like crazy. This is when we lived like two neighborhoods away from each other and you could hear them from your neighborhood. Oh God. Yeah. And you were stoned out of your mind and you walked over, you were stoned and you, I wasn't sad. You walked over to my place and you were like, I'm just gonna let the dogs and, and you broke into the house to get kicked out because you weren't there for those fucking dogs. You broke into the house. It was real easy to, and you let the dogs and I was, and I had dated this guy for probably four or five months. It wasn't that long.
And he was so drunk and he's so cute already, but being drunk and cute. And we were brothers like, hi, how are you? Want to sleep on the couch when I'm talking to him. We were broken up but he had been back in town cause he'd taken a job in another state and we went out to dinner and he came back to my place and you were sitting there high and he was so drunk and he was trying so hard to be social and he fell asleep like passed out while you were talking to him. Literally words are coming out and I remember like when you got home that night you were like, he's so rude. Like, like God, I can't believe you ever dated. Oh just it was one of those like faded kind of. It just happened. Which I, that's how all breakup should go.
By the way, that was the least painful of any breakup of events ask you is, you know, us being best friends, I give you my unsolicited opinion about anyone that you're ever dating and like how does like hearing the noise from other people like affect your breakups? I think it's recognizing who is saying you know something because they genuinely care. And who is saying something just to say something. Well, how would you rake me? I don't think you've ever, I mean I think you'll joke around, you'll be like, oh, this guy is like so want attracted road. This guy's like not whatever. But I also think like UJ some ugly guys. I'm sorry. Never dated anyone. I've dated anyone ugly. They look like they're not your tight babe. They look like they're 17 years old. Anyway. I do feel like when you genuinely like are concerned about me being in a relationship with someone, you, you have an open dialogue with me.
You're like, hey, these are the reasons. Like this person may not be someone you should be dating. Like I don't think you've ever had a situation, especially your most recent one where someone's like, this is a bad idea that you were like, oh, they're not really my friend or whatever. I definitely with this most current relationship had people say, this is not going to last. That was the big one. Well I told you that battles you have fun too. It's, this wasn't something I was like, when you love someone and you're like, you know, this is supposed to be for fun, but you like some, I kind of see a future with this person and then you that that's not reciprocated. That is what sucks. And I think that there were definitely people that were like, and it's, you know, the funny thing too is like it was something I knew.
It wasn't something that I was unaware of. And most of the time, like people's opinions are, are things that I'm, I'm not unaware of. It's just, you know, you, you kind of in a sense, and it's not a good thing, but I think everyone goes through it where you become blinded. You're kind of like, oh, something about this will change. This will work out. Because you tend to think the best of every situation. Well, I told you from the beginning, this wasn't going to last. We both knew it. I said, have fun. Fuck a lot, you know, enjoy yourself. Which we did when we could. I know. And I was like, you know, live your life because when are you going to get something like this that you're enjoy in the moment. And also it was one of those things where like, you know, culturally real religiously, like all these other things like factor in to the fact that you weren't going to be together.
Yeah. So I knew, I feel kind of bad because I was telling you all these things, but at the end of the day, I didn't take into account that you actually fell for this person, which you did one that's tough seeing if from the outside in because you're like, well logically this isn't gonna work out logically hard. It's hard to take in account, you know that like someone actually has feelings for this person. Someone cares about this. But I knew you had feelings for this person. I think it was pretty clear. It was very clear. And you know, I feel kind of bad for being like, and I'm sorry, you know, for being like, go fuck this person and I have the best time and do whatever. But at the end of the day, um, I also feel like you had some really good experiences and you've learned a lot and you traveled.
When was the last time you traveled like that? You know what I mean? So well, and it's like everything else in life. Like you can sit there and tell someone something until you're blue in the face, but oftentimes you just have to experience it in order to learn from it. I mean, I can sit here all day and say like, Oh yeah, I it, I knew it wasn't going to work out. There were some poor decisions that were made. There were things that I compromised that I shouldn't have and I like, I won't do it again and I'll tell you that. But at the same time, like had I not gone through it, I would not be in the place with like who I am if I had, well, something I've learned recently is it takes seven years to get over a breakup. Great. Seven years.
Well, I say that because some of the friends that are broken up with, it's take, it's four years and I still think about that and I'm still upset about it and I still dream about it. Totally. It's so okay because I think, I feel like I did a disservice if I don't think about it and if I don't dwell about it and I feel like I do myself a disservice if I don't process it, the feelings and to process it. But I also think like, you know what's so crazy to me too is like, you know, there are so many people that are like, Oh, you've only dated this person for like so long. You've only been friends with a person for that long. Like for some people it does take years to like really get attached to someone or months or however long. I knew I loved my husband on like day 30.
Yeah. I mean it's like, it wasn't, it's different for every, yeah. And so like nine months to me, you know, feels like years, it feels like, I mean it, it didn't take that long, you know? So I, I don't think it's ever fair to discount how someone is. I don't like when people do that. I mean, I could, I could have gone on like three days, just our listeners, if you know, if you're listening and you have a friend who just got broken with his, who they've been together with someone else for three here or like three years or three months or whatever and you're like, oh, you haven't been together that long. Fuck you go fuck yourself because that's so shitty. It's tough. You should never say that to somebody. You've only been together for three months. That doesn't matter. No, because you're really, you don't know how deep those feelings are for that person. Well, you know, I learned a lot about breakups from you because you've had or listening to, you've had a few and are, how long has it been friends played? Four years. Four
years? Yeah, sure. I dated 808 if it was like 800 with a year. But you know, I hope we don't ever break up. You never know. If we break up, let's bring up all
podcasts. So we have a show, you know, I love the dramatics and does that what number nine? Number eight. Number nine dramatic. Yeah. Yeah. Well, thank you for sharing and being vulnerable. Thanks. It's real easy with you.
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