Welcome!

Habitual

So I want to talk about what do you want to talk about that about an hour ago I saw you naked. Oh Wow. Okay. So let me say, it gives some context to what happened. Um, I was supposed to meet you at your place and you had texted me that the door was open, but I assumed that you would be in the kitchen or in here or immune, especially in the kitchen because hello. That's all you're good for. But you know, I came down here, you weren't here, played with the dogs a little bit and I was like, oh, he's probably upstairs like getting dressed or something like that because we've seen a lot of each other. It's not that I have an issue like seeing you. So I walk upstairs and I hear Zack and I hear, oh, you scared me. And I thought he was talking to me. Uh, but the two dogs had run into the bathroom and I, uh, I walked towards the bathroom and there is Sacary t naked as fuck. I thought, why did you jump when you saw me naked?

I wasn't ready. I wasn't, I mean it took, why weren't you ready for, we've been friends for like I know, I know, which took me forever to get like comfortable with the idea of seeing other people naked. I mean it took my like fourth or fifth time having sex to be like this is a male body, this is happening right now. This is female bodies. Kind of the same. But like you also, you know what your, you know, getting into and you're familiar with the territory. Well, I mean I'm a female so I know what a female body looks like. I felt like other than Babes, there's not like there's nothing really to see. And if we're being honest, the, or we heard penises or Gordy remember the grim adventures of Billy and Mandy on card to nowhere. I remember, I never watched it though. So there was an episode where um, Billy had like a Zit on his back and it got just bare with me. It got bigger and bigger and bigger and then it kind of became it's own little person, its own little entity and its name was Yap. Yap. And eventually Jase up, detached from the body and became like this little like baby weird male creature that just went around going Yap, Yap. And but before that, when it was still attached to Billy's body it, that's like what I think penises look like. Wow. Yeah.

Cause I'm a grower. I am not a shower. Oh most people mostly throw that out there. You know, I just want to let you know that before we do you mean you're not trying to appeal to me so it doesn't matter. Well, I'm so I'm self conscious about my, you know. Yup. Yup. [inaudible] okay,

welcome back to millennial prod podcast. Oh, I'm Zachary t and I just want to start off by saying we recorded last week and we didn't know about the whole aunt Becky getting her kids into college thing and we talked about full house. Wow. The universe. I mean there's so much shit out there like that though that I can't and honestly the fact that people were surprised that our like education system isn't already rigged in the fucking first place. Confusing to me. It just so shocked. I mean, 100% think it should be publicized, but this is not a new thing. No Asian Americans aren't shocked. African Americans ain't shocked. You knew who was fucking shocked or white people white. And I'm not shocked. This must be like a very specific, you're white and poor like me. So we get it. But it's just, I mean, it was just so funny to me that everyone found it so shocking.

And I grew up in a very, very white, very upper class. I was not upper class, but grew up in a very upper class suburb where shit like that goes on all the time. I'm sorry, I didn't mean to interrupt your intro. No, you're good. Yeah, but I'm just, yeah, I know. I totally, I'm with you. I don't know why people are shocked, but I'm glad it's being publicized for sure. Yeah. So what are we going to talk about today? Is that, well, you didn't explain what millennial part prop, blah, blah, blah. It's still a fucking mouthful. You didn't explain what millennial prop hod was about. Yeah, so I mean, it's a podcast of no shit. It's on apple podcasts. It's on Spotify. You're listening. You know what a podcast is. Thank you. No, I mean it's just i's kind of sitting here maybe tackling some semis, vulnerable topics, but not being so heavy about it. Yeah, it's like minor millennial things. They could be very serious. That could be like we're talking about today,

we're talking about habits, bad habits. Like I feel like bad habits. I feel like it's just a mole, any old type of thing. But we have different habits, bad habits, and they can make stream, but they all route from the same place. Yes.

Hey guys, what's up? Before we get back to the podcast, here's a word from our sponsors,

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So I want to play a game I gave you man. What kind of game? It's called swipe left swipe right. Swipe left. Swipe right. We probably should have gotten that copywritten. Yeah. Oh well no, no, no, no. Cause remember we got it from the podcast. Food for thoughts. They came up with a game. It's a good podcast about multiracial queer riders. I want to shout them out before we get started on this. Yeah, I don't think ours is going to be that deep. It's not gonna be that deep. It could be, I mean, what if they listened though and I didn't credit food for that podcast. So this game is swipe right. Swipe left. Swipe right, swipe left. Okay. And it kind of pertains to our subject today. Does it, what is our subject today? Habits. Bad Habits. Bad Habits. I have no bad habits, sweetie. You're full of shit.

Okay. Um, so let's start with things versus jewels. Oh, I am. Can I like, okay. Okay. Swipe left. Swipe right. You know, do we have to pick or will we choose rye and pick one left or can I just swipe left on both? I think talking about it because I hate cigs angels. Okay. Okay. I hate tobacco. I think the industry is fucking crazy. They try to like hypnotize children into getting into nicotine and getting these fucking habits. I hate the smell of tobacco. I hate the smell of fucking cotton candy. Vate who the fuck came up with cod Katie vape. Fuck. They're both equally bad. And you don't think it's bad when I walked through your fucking cloud of puff smoke from your fucking vape. That's so fucking rude. I don't want to smell your fucking vape. I don't wanna Smell caramel candy or whatever the fuck is coming out of your damn mouth.

But you know, they're better than cigarettes. Are you good? I'm sorry. I have a lot of feelings. I feel like this is my topic though. I mean, but you smoke. I do by means gross. Let me kind of give you know some. So, uh, I started smoking cigarettes when I was probably a sophomore in college and it very much started out as, you know, occasional like frat party smoking or, you know, going to a party and you know, like, and it would be one or two. It would, it wouldn't be. And then I wouldn't smoke outside of that. No desire to smoke outside of that. And, uh, the partying became more frequent and, uh, you know, with not doing work comes stress about doing work. And so I, uh, I started smoking more. Um, and then you know, it, it really took probably actually a year and a half to become a full fledged nasty

addiction. And so, you know, when, when vapes and the jewel actually in particular started becoming a big thing and you know, you've always had like alternatives to smoking, but it's not been not the best options. And you know, God forbid I actually just quit doing it, but, uh, the jewel became a really big thing and I decided to get work.

Well actually initially, no, initially getting these damn people. I mean we can just send it, right? No, the jewel came out to be an alternative for adult smokers. That's at least with the packaging, the packaging. Um, okay. Swipe left on both. I'm good. No, I mean I would 100% of picking jewel over six because as much as I wanna smoke one and like, as much as I still occasionally smoke when, especially if the alcohol has been a flowing, you know, I would still 100% pick the jewel over that because I don't, it's a habit I need to break, but it's, you know, the lesser of two evils. So I picked Joel. All right. Hillary Clinton. All right. Pot v alcohol. Oh, I mean, you know my answer for this, you know my answer for this feel like it's going to be the ganja. I mean, okay, Swipe.

Swipe. Okay. Swipe writes a good one. Right? Tinder, I've never been on Tinder. I've been like in a relationship for like eight years. So swipe right is a good one. Right? But like you should or laid this ground rules from the beginning, but uh, versus, uh, okay. So we, I think it's better for you. I don't go crazy if I've had a ton of, we'd actually get more like reclusive and paranoid and in myself also, good thing about weed is I don't feel like shit the next fucking day if I've had a ton of weed, you know what I mean? My body isn't killing me. You and I have very different experiences with pot. Yeah. I, and I would, I would, I love beer. I really love beer and that's the only reason that maybe I would lean too gassy. Oh, who cares? Okay. I would probably swipe right on alcohol.

What over marijuana because like I am one of those white people that really enjoys like local draft for a beer tastings. And like I genuinely, it's not because it's alcohol, I genuinely enjoy the culture and you know, flavor behind beer. So for that I'd have to say alcohol, but if, uh, if beer was not a thing and be pot, I have a different experience for you. Cause I feel like a lot of my best bonding is when I've done stoned, not when I'm drunk because when I'm drunk I'm all over the place. You may mention something to me if I'm drunk, I'm not going to remember what you told me, but I feel like I've had some of the best conversations when I've gotten really, really, really high with someone. We've gotten on the same level with each other. We're so functional and we just talk about really deep shit.

And I feel like I've gotten way more of those conversations out of weed than I have getting really drunk at a party. I think with alcohol it's bad. I, I can honestly say this is probably not a good thing, but I can't remember the last date. Like first date I went on and alcohol wasn't involved because I think if I'd had like smoked beforehand, like I wouldn't have been able to, you know, produce like coherent thoughts and like with beer or any other, you know, alcoholic in moderation. It kind of gives you like, you're not drunk or even tipsy, but you get that like extra boost of confidence. And you'd say things that you wouldn't normally say. So alcohol swipe right for me. Marijuana swipe left alcohol, Gracie spice book versus Insta. Mm. I think I know your answer to this too. Instagram is, I feel like the better of the two.

I mean, they're both of like two necessary evil. So I feel like, because I feel after I was introduced to social media, I had an intermediate addiction. Um, I gotta be honest. I prefer Twitter out of all three, not just because of the porn, but I feel alike to porn. Facebook just turn into like this monster for me where I always had to share my thoughts and always had to develop all, always have to do this. Whereas Instagram, I felt like I post a cute pick once a month and I posted my story like once a week just to keep everybody updated and entice. But why do I feel like I have to do that? I can tell Ya. I'm fucking tired of

both of them. I just am so done. I love that. I love how you'll act. You'll like delete your Instagrams every once in a while.

Just make a new name and just follow New People. Yeah, you're just like a whole new person on social media because that's the whole point of social media is that you get to be the person you want to be or people get to see you the way you want them to see you. There's nothing about social media, Facebook or Instagram that's real. I mean, they're both on my Facebook too. Well, but like it'll rip you a new one. It really will. Because you'd be like, why is this person's life so much better than mine? Or what can I do to be like this? Or you will start to emulate what you think are behaviors or characteristics of that person's life. It's not that deep for me. Uh, but I see what you're saying because I feel like for me it's not me trying to emulate someone else's life because most people I know IRL fucking suck and I don't give a shit about them but I'm Instagram friends with them because I just need to be nice.

But I feel like, you know, I feel like I always have to keep up appearances and I always have to do this. And it's this expectation that your life is the way you are pretending and that sucks dude. Cause I can tell you I'm pretty much for the most part like genuinely happy human being. But that shit, like if I get on that in the morning, that shit ruins my niece. Good for me. Memes, we send each other really good memes. But I mean, but you always send me a meme from that account that I do not follow like locked in crazy bitch. Probably we should say, oh yeah, whatever. Anyway, it's a meme account. Who gives a fuck? No, there's so good. You know, I've got, um, a certain Brazilian to follow it. You got the Brazilian. I get, follow that again. Oh, you know, he's like my number one. I know. And he's like your numbers. He's gonna know and whatever. I'm only ever dated one Brazilian. He's going to know now. Well who cares? He's all thanks for participating. Thanks. I love this game and I love reminding myself about my bad fucking habit. Yeah, that's right. Thank you.

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Welcome back. Thank you. Welcome back to the couch, man. Oh my God. Thank you for joining us on the couch. Everyone. You know, millennial prod podcast MPB they've made it this far. I'm so sorry y'all. I apologize. Can you make a podcast like you might be, you might think you're a selfless human being with all of us. Love to hear ourselves talk. So I hate my voice but I love hearing myself talk big. Exactly, exactly. So a main theme today. What is it that habits I haven't had [inaudible] okay, let's constitute, you know, like what constitutes a bad habit? Are you asking me or about to tell me? Maybe both. Okay, I'll

go ahead. A bad habit is something you do a lot and that you know affects your life and other people's lives like negatively, negatively, sorry. And you're like, okay, I'm going to change this, but you never do and it gets worse and worse. He gets more ingrained in your mind and you do it over and over and over again. Well, what's interesting to me because I've thought a lot about this this week actually, like how do you almost kind of differentiate bad habits from addiction?

Can you, I mean, I think that you might have like some sort of very mild addiction that's not, you know, even necessitating therapy of some sort, but are they, is there really that, because the habit, there's nothing wrong with marijuana just widely. Yeah. Good to know. Thank you. But habits, okay. Are so hard to break. I mean, that's why they're habits. It's something that you have become comfortable with. It's something that has become a natural part of your daily life. But how does that, how does that differ from addiction? Well, I feel like they can go hand in hand. Example, one of my bad habits is getting up really, really close to the time I have to be at work. You know, living five minutes away from my job. It makes it super easy to get up. Oh really? Last minute. And for the rest of the day I feel rushed and I feel like that's a bad habit.

Yeah, I'm addiction, right? I don't feel like I'm addicted to getting up late. I feel like I prefer to do it. I feel like my addiction to marijuana, I smoke and stay up really late. And that's part of the reason why. But you know, I feel like it's one of those things that happens over and over and over and over. You just kind of get used to it for. So does addiction well, like I don't know if those are like necessarily like if they go hand in hand with each other every cause, like I have a bad habit of not texting my friend back. I'm, cause I forget, I read it on my watch for example, and then I'm at work and then I just totally blank and totally forget. Yeah. I don't feel like that's a bad or an addiction or an addiction. I think it's a bad habit.

That's right. No, I hear you. I mean it's just, it's not, you know, the main theme of this, but it was something interesting to me. Like something I thought about heavily. Like what, what does that look like? But no, I agree that, you know, there may be, is a way to kind of separate addiction from that habit for sure. But yeah, just, just a thought on my mind. What are you addicted to? What are your, I know some of your bad habits and I don't know if you want to share it with share them with everyone as to what those bad habits are for you. Yeah. Have you seen your car? Your car is a fucking trash compactor. You don't ever clean out your car. You just clean out my car though because you're about to see a boy. You're about to get a lay bitch not cause you're, I cleaned my car once a week.

No, it definitely, I like, typically I'm a very messy person but as far as like my living quarters and what I have to spend a significant amount of time, you know, within, I'm messy but I'm not in dirty. The car is a component, different situation. It's discussing like I am. It's so funny cause my grant, I got that from my grandfather. That's why I picked that up and like his car was just always like no judgment. Oh No. None at all. But you would've thought that someone like lived in his car like, like, and now he's a super clean freak about his car and he gets in mine and he's like, he's like, are you preparing for the end of the world? Like what's going on? I'm like, I got this from you, Paul. Well, my thing is, I think for you, you're, you live out real busy life.

I do. Um, because if you're not at work would you work two jobs and you are doing this thing and also you're a very social person. Especially compared to me. You're very social. You're just a to be like, you just got to go. If someone's in your car, you don't give a fuck to me as part of, I think like at the end of the day, even if I am off, you know, work. But don't you want to break that bad habit though? Isn't there a part of you that you want to, the whole like, you know how it affects us emotionally and what breaking a bad habit actually looks like? Well, and you know, you're talking about addiction earlier. I feel like bad

habits can go, can derive from like depression. Absolutely. I wanting like if your life is constantly kind of up in the air like that as your one status quo, you know that is your one constant.

Well as someone who suffers from depression and has quote unquote generalized anxiety disorder and all these other different things, I feel as if, you know, my bad habits can get worse if I'm feeling more depressed that day. I can feel, I feel as if my bad habits are kind of because of my depression. Sometimes like for example, not texting your friend back. Sometimes I'm at home and I don't want to hang out with someone. I may not text them back because I just, I need my space, I need time. I need to think it's a breathe. And you know, I feel as if mental illness can make a bad habit worse. I feel, I feel, I felt that way, at least for my soul, especially not speaking for everyone, bad habit, you know, kind of taking out the whole mental illness aspect of it, how a bad habit itself just affects you negatively.

Even if it's something that derives from a more serious issue, like bad habits themselves. Totally affect your emotional stability. Yeah, because I feel like even with the worst of habits that I want to break, like if I'm just not in that mindset, it's not going to happen. And some habits you don't give a fuck, you're just like whatever. I don't care. Like it's, it's a very, you know, it's kind of a fine line, but it, it bad habits. Totally. Emotionally. Where on you? Well, I feel like one of my bad habits has to do with marijuana. I feel I use it as a coping mechanism. I, you know, tried ssrs at one point and um, wasn't for me and there for a lot of people and I felt like that's great. You should keep, continue to take your medication. You shouldn't also not randomly stop taking your medication cause you feel better, you know?

But I feel like I use it and it's become a bad habit for me to want to just get high, eat, go to sleep. I feel like I'm missing because it's become part of me and I want to break it. You know what I mean? I have bad habit of reacting very quickly. Yes you do. Um, I feel like I kind of like let the emotion take over me and I'm kind of upset, but at the same time I liked this habit because, uh, at the end of the day, like I feel good. Like I let all my emotions out, I don't have to go to bed thinking about something. Um, I feel like I don't have to go to bed, you know, having something wear on me because I haven't discussed it with someone. I felt like it's a bad habit because yeah, I burn more bridges and yeah, I kind of Piss people off, but also I feel better like letting people know how I feel and not letting people run over me and treat me like shit.

You know what I mean? I think some of my bad habits would actually, and they kind of go hand in hand, but complacency and procrastination. Oh Man, I didn't even think about that. Bad Habits for me. I mean I'm, I'm really good under pressure, like we talked about earlier, but at the same time, like I will eventually press central. I procrastinate on the smallest things like, oh my God, when will we camp camping? A year and a half ago, which we're not going to discuss ever on this podcast. No, no. We're not going to discuss like, we're not going to discuss it. I feel like you waited very last minute. You are late to coming over to my house before we went over there. And you know, that's not, you know, as far as bad habits go, I don't think like that's the worst. Oh, but it affects your life because I feel like if I prepared for things earlier, I wouldn't be as stressed as I am before.

And like even when I flew to Ohio, I waited until two o'clock in the morning to start doing laundry to start packing, and I had a flight at six. Oh, that stresses me out. It was terrifying. But also it's something that I could totally fix. Have you ever read any of those like guide books to break those bad habits? Like [inaudible] constantly addiction, do the super easy, good break. It's like just a mindset thing. And I wish it was, I just say disagree with that and maybe there's science behind it that I'm just not reading, but it's just not that simple. Or maybe I'm just not strong 30 days to form a habit as our producers to show even

mentions it takes a lifetime to break them. Well. Do you have any like sexual bad habits? I don't think I do. I don't think I do either.

I mean I'm, I mastering it depends. Well it depends for me because sometimes like I come in a minute and then other times it takes me an hour. Like I can be now longer lever or your shortest never come. I know you don't. I feel so sad for though, cause that's not what sex is about. But yes it is. No, uh, I feel like we shouldn't be so fucking hard on ourselves about bad habits and I feel like a lot of bad habits are related to us trying to be more productive, which I get. It is great. You feel more fulfilled but at the end of the day we are all controlled by corporations and major governments and all this stuff they want us to make. They want to make us as productive as fucking possible and you know you need to like chillax [inaudible] she don't have to be the number one most productive person ever in the history of earth.

That's no one's going to remember you. No one's going to remember you. I'm sorry. But I think it's important to recognize that like you should be the best person you can be. But that doesn't mean that doesn't mean you know, not taking breaks or not like having moments. But I do think like, I know my life would be much better if there were certain habits that I broke same, but a lot of the habits like, oh, waking up really late before you go to work or whatever. That's one of my bad habits. Why do I feel bad about that? Like, why do I feel bad about like contributing to this like capitalist society that wants to get more and more and more and more and more out of me when I'm just being a fucking human. You see what I'm saying? Like I'm just, I think you're almost taking this to like a philosophical level.

Like I'm strictly speaking. Sorry, you took it there, you took it there. I think I just felt like we shouldn't be so hard on herself about our bad habits cause everybody has them. I'll give you a very good example. I have a really bad habit of just leaving my dishes for my grandmother to clean up. Like I just will leave them out there. I'm like, oh I'll do it later. I'll wash it away. Like not only does it affect me just being like, no, I need to do the right thing, but it affects him because he's the one that's having a fucking clean it up. Well, my bad habit of me waking up late to go to work doesn't affect anyone. And I think that was what I'm saying. This too is like typically bad habits, like they affect you first and foremost, but oftentimes they will affect other people around the ones that affect other people negatively.

Those are the ones that you have to look out for. Yeah, like me not texting friends back. It hurts people's feelings and I feelings get hurt when you don't text me back and then I see you post something on snapchat and you don't text me back. Also, I hate when you do one word responses, that's a bad habit you need to work on. Also, another bad habit you need to work on. Let's just go ahead and throw this is you need to pick up your damn self when you come over. Put your dish in the ceiling. I am not your grandfather.

Well, I feel at the end of the day we should not be so hard on ourselves. You know what I mean? Like I get it. Not Hard enough on myself. I mean, you're not, you're not, you're lazy, but, but I feel like, you know, we're all human. We're all trying our best and you should, you should try to be the best self that you can, can be, but you shouldn't, you know, break your back over and feel bad. It's a balance. I think this is the best way to put it as it's a balance. I agree. Well thank you're welcome. I guess that's the only thing we can go on with our bad habits. Whenever you feel down about yourself and whenever you feel sad about yourself and when ever you feel like you're not good enough because of a bad habit. And you know, I sit here and say, you know, don't feel bad about your bad habits, but if a bad habit gets you to that level, to that point, that that's when you should really start working on yourself.

Right. And that bad habit, because I've had bad habits in the past, so I'm, I don't want to mention where it got to that point. You know, I used to be bullied, make in high school. I used to throw up everything that I ate and I thought, here's the thing about that bad habit. I feel amazing. I was skinny. You can see my abs when I skew, squeeze my tummy really hard and flexed when I flex. I guess that's the word for it, but it's one of those things where I never felt bad about it. And I remember my mom caught me and she made me feel bad about it and then I kind of stopped and picked it up and stopped and picked it up. And you know, I didn't stop completely until I met Adam. Oh really? Yeah, because he's the one who broke manor.

That bad habit. Cause God, I would, I would eat as much as as I want and just vomit. And it was just, it was one of those things where it was learned from one of my friends and whatnot. And that's a habit. I'm really happy I broke. Yeah, it's really, and sometimes I think about it because it, that habit turned out to be less of me wanting to be skinny and thin and losing weight, but like, like the dopamine and the happiness I felt after I threw up. Sometimes I still crave that. Sometimes I still sit there and I'm like, I would love to throw up right now. But again, like that's what we talked about, which is when a habit starts to affect you so poorly or like you know, you've started something that you, it's consuming your life. That is when, and it's hard.

I mean, it's so much easier said than done, but that's when you have to take a step back and say, this is affecting my overall wellbeing and just living. But thank you for sharing that. I no problem. That's deep. It is. [inaudible] but I, you know, I sometimes struggle with it now and sometimes I still do Benji, but you know, yeah, I met her and Adam keeps me on track. So it's good to have a good support system. Yes, it will. Also, weed has not helped with this because bitch, I'm hungry. Yeah. I have the munchies all the fucking damn time. I eat so much taco bell after this. Oh No, I've had dire. Yeah. The past few days. I can't, I can't make it a third boo. Well, I feel like this was kind of a good conversation about bad habits. I feel like this subject is very broad and we didn't talk about a lot of things that we could have, but I think we touched them as a major key points. I mean, yeah, because you know this, this podcast is about us and not about you listeners, you know?

Okay.

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How DIDN'T the Internet Scar You?

How DIDN'T the Internet Scar You?