GUL. Family Feud ft. Jasmine Clisby
Alrighty on this episode of girl or the glow up ladies podcast. I'm your girl Beebe. I'm smelling key and we have a guest here today. Y'All. Somebody's decided to join us on the podcast. We got cleaves being her. Hey y'all. So she come in all like she not, hey, I got an ease a man. [inaudible] okay, Gotcha. Gotcha. So do I need to introduce you again for you can come with your real cell. [inaudible] she [inaudible] she don't want wanna move. Okay. So, oh, not to make a Phillips head. I'm keeping the classy. Oh yeah. Right in the last five minutes. Right. Shit, the real harm will come out soon. Yeah. I can't wait guys. Just be prepared. Exactly. Okay. What are we going to talk about today? We have a lot of different things that we're going to talk about. Um, well, we're really going to touch you based on, you know, all those people with significant others that, you know, sometimes you or your significant others, family does not like you or you don't like them.
Yeah. We're going to discuss that as well as when we come back from the break, we're going to discuss about, you know, hey, you may not like your significant others friends or vice versa. And what do you do when those things happen? So before we get into all that jazz, we got a little topic for you guys to discuss. So I don't know if anybody follows a little Duvall, but if you do one of his, was it a tweet? Yeah, it was a tweet. One of the tweets was, why is it a woman can say she don't like short dudes or light-skin dudes and it's okay, but when a man says he don't like dark skinned women or fat bitches, he's a fucked up person. [inaudible] question mark.
Mm. Hold on my first [inaudible] you got it once you got the same, well, first of all, I don't think it's as big of an issue when women give their preference about short versus tall. Um, I don't think it's good to stereotype or like that, but there's a bigger stigma I think behind the dark skin light skin debate because of like, because of history and we to take it that far back. Slavery, they wanted to divide us any way by color. And so I just feel like that's another tool of the oppressor. If you want to carry on.
Come on this though. History is come on colorism. That's a, that's a good point. What do you think of beauty? To be honest, I agree with cleaves B because at the same time, like short dudes, they do get the short state. Yeah, don't they? They really do. Like I know for a fact that I have a preference and most women don't like short dudes sex. But I feel like it's all about a personal preference to be honest. Um, I just feel like, you know, it has to do with what you like and what you don't like. Um, but I really feel like when it comes to when he, when a man says
he don't like a dark skinned woman or a fat bitch, he's a fucked up person. I mean to be honest, I'm a dark skinned woman so anytime a man has ever told me you look cute for a dark skin girl or I'd rather 'em you don't only dark skinny nots top two or I read the top right and I just be like, oh look you do. Anytime I get those type of comments or like, you know, I usually talk to light skinned girls but you pretty doe simple mind. Like what you mean like things like that. They kind of, I definitely you have to extra stays live. I'm done talking to you because I don't appreciate the comments that you said. Like you don't have to sit up here and say you pretty for a dark skinned girl. You can just say you brought your pretty, do you say you're pretty for a white girl? Exactly. You pretty for eighth and Asian girl or light skinned girl. I've never understood that. I've never seen it like wound light skinned girls are pretty, they just pretty, there's not like, oh you're pretty for light skinned woman.
Alright, so why do you have to put that on that connotation for dark skinned women and I think those are all learned behaviors. You know, you never know what kind of household they grew up in and what they grumbled around. Mom, whatever used to say it's a form of self hate. It is like a security. If you, if you could have come from a black woman, a black man, and you can sit here and tell a sister, oh you know you're not as good as this girl over here because your skin is darker. That's still bait because you're
going to have, if you have a child you will have a black [inaudible] and it's crazy because most of the time the guys that say that their dark skin theirselves [inaudible] you don't see the sad part about it, right? It's like, okay, I get, you can have a preference.
Everybody has a preference. I have a preference. I was like, we all at this table have the friends. But for you to sit up in here and say, oh I only like you, only cute for your skin tone. Like I don't understand that. Like I don't understand that there but right my position on it and I'll be real quick cause I never got to move on to a bigger topic. I said what you got to say? I just, I don't think this is related. I mean you being short is not correlation to a dark skinned girl and then it's like why would you communicate that to make a person feel I guess insecure or less than themselves. That's why I think that that person is saying that is insecure themselves because always I'm an insecure person systems because they feel that way about themselves internally so they got or projected on other people for sure.
It was like, yeah I get the whole theory of, you know, we don't really care for short guys but honestly, I mean I've seen short guys and they have, they get married, they have kids like this. Does the conversation ever come up around the table about as not wanting the guy who we can't wear heels with? Of course, yes it does for sure. But I don't feel like it's as strong as a conversation topic as the whole complexion thing. Cause I mean you hit that in songs, you hear that on the radio. I mean everywhere you go it seems like it is all over the place. So I don't feel like those who are just related in the whole thing with lights going to do's and Co correlation I guess to the effect girls. I mean I feel like both of them are kind of, I mean it is preference and then they all goes down to preference. Um, I would never say that I would talk, I would not talk to someone because of their skin complexion. But do I have a preference? Yeah. And it's like if you don't to date me or date someone else because there's a size that's your preference because there's other people that love those people and with date, those people that were married, those people. So just be, I guess secure within yourself. And just know that the few does not represent the mini. Yeah. Hey, yeah, definitely. I like that. I definitely feel like, yeah
we weren't, well they weren't comparing apples to apples. They weren't really comparing apples to oranges comparing size and height.
Yes. So a complex, that's a whole different beast, right? Yeah. It sounds like this a whole different thing. So I was just like, I guess you'd get the women in the same pot but at the same time it's, you're not comparing apples to apple. It is. And I guess you notice what happens when you take advice from a comedian. So uh, here we go guys, shout out to Duvall know cause he had this song on live in my house back and forth. That was my jam last summer. Anyway, severing again today's topic, I'm interested in hearing you guys at pinions your experiences and just your thoughts on if you're dating this guy, he's just so awesome. And then you guys are on the move of being boyfriend and fiance. I don't know at what point you actually meet the parents then we'll talk about that in a different discussion.
But even if you guys want to bring up when that point happens within this conversation, that's fine. But just things, I mean you could be days someone one for three months and then you meet their family. You're just like, yeah, that can definitely happen. Or they could do that about you. Yeah, they could. I mean it won't happen, but you know, I mean of course you think highly of yourself. Other people can have differently personality mixes and it just doesn't work as far as the extension of you. You know, y'all relationship is fine. But yeah, when it comes to them like your mom, your dad's sister or brother, and we're just talking about intermediate family, right? Like the for sure people. Yeah. We never want to get into the whole, cause that can be a whole another thing. I mean, depending on, and it did this
depending on your family dynamic as well, like if you, if you're an intermediate family and consists of your cousins and your aunties will then of course, very true. Um, like if you grew up together, almost like brothers and sisters, but your cousins, your proved true. But you have a whole, you know, significant other family and meeting the family, like whenever you meet the family, regardless if that's at the beginning, 10 months down the line, um, I just feel like you yourself, you have to just take in and just be yourself as an individual. If they don't like you, you can do things to make your family or your civic others' family like you. But at the same time, if they don't like you, at the end of the day, you can only try your best. Look at you do. I mean, I feel like there's little things that you could try to do. Um, I feel like if, say for instance, your family doesn't like you because you, you just around, they just don't like your appearance. They don't like you because of just,
they don't even know you, but they don't like you. Okay. So it was like a media reaction of you walk through the door and Oh my God, they was like, Huh? Like people like the [inaudible] type days on perception. And you didn't like me when you first met me, but that's because you had an attitude. Oh, did you open your mouth? No. First of all,
no, no. See there she goes trying to diminish me. Like you don't notice me when I walk in a role. But anyway I came with bread that was oh yeah, but you guys, let me put this close. Yeah, for sure. Cause my girl, exactly. This is actually my friend. So the conversation we had make it look tense and I love it. So sorry to a ship topic. But when I met her I was with a, a mutual friend, like a mutual friend, but I didn't, me and her. Yeah. And I mean just an entire night. It was no conversation, no eye contact. It was knowing, I just thought it was rude. Like it wasn't even a shower. So jam when new then see you. Yes. So basically people may give off a vibe that they don't realize they're giving off, they're taking it back to families. When I came in, I honestly did not realize about that.
I was giving off this weird shit. And so when you meet a new family, they don't know you yet. I've gotten all my life, oh, you stuck up you this, you're dad. But people get to know me like you're so Kooky. Like oh, she's like, oh no clue species called [inaudible]. She's okay. But with families it's hard because first of all they have, you know, invested interests in their family members. So they are looking out like you don't know what that last relationship look like. If she was a hot mess or she was a fight or whatever, or she presented herself just how you doing. You walk in and then you're like, oh, I seen this before. I'm like, oh, I don't like her. Yeah. We can only go off experiences like those facts. I feel like you can't judge a book by its cover. So I feel like if you are the individual, significant others, family, you need to get out your comfort zone and just step in there and have a conversation with that person.
Get to know them as an individual regardless if that's asking them what they do for a living. How many, uh, you know, their family. Just trying to get little things to know that person for the first time. If you don't get to do it the first time, you can always try to do it the next time that you encountered them. If there's a next time. Cause some people be there and gone the next time you see that. So don't, don't break up. See what I'm saying? They happened. So I feel like if you first know, if you see somebody and they're introduced to you, just try to make the best of the moment to be honest.
I agree. I agree. And I think two on the basis of me having the meat, you know, my brother's like, whoever he decided the date, I just always would initially liked them cause I really, my brother liked them. You know, like it's like I think about it. There should be a benefit of doubt given to the person based on the fact that you know the brother or your sister, you may not necessarily know the person that they bring in, but you have to get some kind of cadence to the person that you're dealing with to know that they're not going to bring just any old body in here. So I think that there's a respect love
though she would given to the person whom is bringing the significant other more so than actual significant other. I think you always get them to at least get to know them. I agree.
I totally agree. I feel like whoever's the extrovert needs to speak first, whoever's extrovert kind of breaks the silence like fun. People are just naturally shy in sometimes. Like if, if there's an awkward silence, I'm the always the crazy one in the room. So, and you know, sometimes you just have to say something crazy and just to break the silence sometimes. So if you are, if you know you're a people person and you come into a situation where you feel awkward, be yourself [inaudible] insert yourself into the situation. You know what? If you're not a talkative person, I feel like in that moment you need to be a talkative person if you're meeting. It depends on how, how you see your significant other. Because if you're trying to be in that person's life, if you're going to start having kids with this person, you may need somebody to babysit.
While I won't let anybody babysit my kids cause people crazy. But you don't let your mom maybe send me in laws. You can't stop that. Maybe not them. I don't know. Yeah, I agree because I agree crazy. Then they stop. They love right now. Like if my sister in law was like, oh you can't keep my son. I'm like, that's my nephew. What do you mean? That'd be kind of weird, but it would be weird. Trustworthy. I'm talking about sketchy people. Yeah. I think [inaudible] relationship. Questionable like it's not celebrity birthright to have access to. So do you have to like your significant other's family? I don't think you have to like be best friends that makes you have to be able to hold yourself a certain way and like at least use some decorum when you're around them because I mean it's going to be adult, it's an interview, right?
So it's like if you want to impress your employer or if you're applying for a board or something, you can't go in there with your tail between your legs, so to speak in a sense that no, you're not talking to anybody, so no one gets to know you. It's honestly social hour. So you're really sure whenever you go over there that you are on your p's and q's as far as wanting to communicate while those, you know, I know. Yeah, exactly. Definitely. You can't go in there as a mute. I mean we have to hold the person coming in as accountable to, I know it's not always the family that's like, you know, the the me people and they may not be embracing at first. You know, some people are. Okay. So I've learned is two different types of people. It's people that like you initially just off just liking you just as a person.
Then there's other people where we have to prove to them. And I struggle with those that you get to prove because I'm just like, who are you? But yeah, I would kind of give some kind of grace period for the family if I really liked the significant other though. What do y'all think? Like, I mean I feel like there has to be, yeah, you have to manage it sometimes cause initially you can go in and you know, you may be a reserved type of person and the family may be kind of like, you know, kinda explosive and just like, hey, you know, totally opposite of what you are. And so like when you go in there initially you may not be like, you may just be kind of calm, like I don't know how I'm gonna do, I don't. And then sometimes your significant other can kind of back you up on that.
They can sit up here and be like, well, since you're kind of reserved and it's your first time, let me just introduce you to everybody. Let me sit up here and be like, oh, kind of warm the room with you. Then they talk to you with everybody. That way you don't have to individually go up to everybody. That is a very good plan. You are your, you know, your significant other, their role and making you feel comfortable. Yes. Like they do, they play a role in, right. I mean not just dropped them off in the living room and it's like, okay, now I'm in this room with a group of people and I don't know. And no one's making eye contact, you know, it's hard for me to start young guys. Use that as a test. Okay. You, we'll say, and my sister and my, and my momma drew. Exactly. But it's the first time. I mean like you can't
expect someone, just the jail people have that personality. Like all three of us have ever gotten a little family fight. Wait, I just say, I didn't like you to this day.
Right. They call Yotpo to this day still say, Yo we have Nick Gillespie, they ask about me, everybody asks about [inaudible] as being oh be here when she comes. No belt elbow.
But no, this is a real thing. And like I think that'd be paid on a great point of when you have a responsibility of kind of bridging that gap cause it, you know that the person you're dating is the extrovert. So don't set them up for failure because honestly that first time is so crucial. I mean, I mean we're all three ladies are here, we have brothers or sisters and they brought somebody over. Once both of them leave, we're going to have analysis.
Exactly. Exactly. Let me tell you what I do like about her and I will
no this out here, I feel like the easiest thing like if you're going to meet the family for their first time, I feel like the easiest thing to do for each individual that you meet is to give them a compliment. Yeah. And so I was like, that way you could spark the conversation and therefore like if you don't necessarily find anything else in common with any individual, Alicia gave him a compliment. He talking about they here known as a nice person, but she was so sweet. She [inaudible] with the company. You guys can laugh or whatever. Just find some common ground that they like to talk about. You don't have to force the issue. Like if they don't, if you could say when somebody I want to talk to you, like you don't have to sit up here and keep up bringing up conversations cause then he's just like [inaudible]
okay. Right, right. You're
doing too much at that moment. So like sometimes I feel like you just kind of knew, find a common ground. Easiest thing to do is just ask somebody a compliment. Exactly. And do you guys bring things with you when you go to significant others have first time? Yeah, like a wine or I met the first time. Okay. It depends on what kind of you've been, if you're going to their house for Dinner, Oh I might bring a little right about one, bring a bottle and bond with class. Bring something. Okay. Cause they'll remember you for that. Yeah. Memorable. You get that out beforehand. Like you know what wine does your mom like this? Your dad drink this kind of beer. Please don't say alcohol to parents who do not drink. Oh yeah, that would be the, Oh that would be bad. That would also be on a significant [inaudible] guys.
They be trying to, you know, they don't want to hurt your feelings. But I like, yeah they are. They're like, oh hey, I forgot. You know it'd be mad cause I'm gonna be over here. So why are you telling me to tell mommy and daddy don't drink? It seems like a corona in the backseat. You knew I was gonna bring that flag. You knew I was bringing in. So I don't know why. You just didn't tell me. No. Do y'all find it easier to connect with the girls? Like if they have sisters versus brothers or which particular party do you relate to? The most? The mom. The Dad. It depends, you know, cause some women could be kind of caddy and they could just be like all in your face, like, who will you, what do you, you a Ho what you, you know, little things like that.
And then it's just like, okay, well you only know me. Right? So why am I whoa, right. You know, what have you heard? You know, what you know, kind of thing. But there's some men that they're more so men are kind of straight and direct to the point. They're just like, okay, who are you? What do you do
with your family? Do you straight to the point? Women, they kind of go, they're passive and it's just like, let me go around the question. Unless they really like you, they really liked for you, then they'll just have that record with conversation.
That's how I feel. That's very true. What do you think please? Well, I've only been in two real relationships. Um, and I, in my past I've never had, I'm only speaking from my experience, I never had any issues with moms or dads. Um, luckily I never had to deal with, um, siblings. Oh Wow. How'd you get out of that? I only had two real relations. So they didn't have siblings. They were wait, his sibling I can't talk about, so wait, the siblings, they didn't have, I mean the significant other, they didn't have siblings and we each out, he was like maybe 11 or 13 when like little brother, oh, he doesn't count. So I never had to deal with them on the only time where I don't count high school stuff in my heart. One of my high school boyfriends, his sister was a little rude, his mom was rude.
So, but then it was kinda like a class thing too. But I think it's different like a class issue, not, you know, like, I don't want to say ghetto, but they were just of a different, a different status. That is. Yeah. And so they just said they thought you were Bougie. I guess kind of Fashion Company, right? Yeah. Okay. And so that was that. But usually I think you have more issues. Like you guys kind of hit on, you have more issues with the women versus the man because we're all, we, you know, we throw this subtle shade. Oh yeah, no, we're going to be the ones who, you know, are going to be super judgy. Let's just be honest. They, from what you wear to how you're talk, your hair, clothes. And typically the women, which are more protective, the women are always [inaudible] their sons. Yeah. So your brothers, you're right about that. I definitely agree.
So do you guys feel like your siblings are more accepting to your significant other than your parents? Hmm, that's a good question. So jazz is only child. I gotta stay out of this conversation. True. So
I will say that most significant, the guys that I dated in the past, it's probably like my brother liking them. I feel like it's been medium. I mean, I feel like your brother's only going to like a guy to start a new thing anyway. Yeah. I don't feel like there's ever been any kind of old, no, don't they, him, you know, type situations. But thankfully, because I mean, at the end of the day, you know, of your parents or if your brother or sister and sister give some kind of feedback, I'm not saying listen to it 100%, but there may be something there that you just don't see cause you're just so blindly in love and like they see maybe past the instance of your love, you know, for that person. So I'm not saying that is all bad. If the person does kind of give some kind of negative feedback, I'm just going to take it with a grain of salt, you know, and maybe something that come out later in your relationships. So I just think that it's important to listen. I'm not saying break up with that person that night at the, but you know, when my brother, I don't feel like he's ever been judgmental of anyone that dated. Yeah. I mean, I agree. My siblings are very accepting. Um, my parents, uh, they're accepting, but they're not as accepting as myself,
my brother. No, no, I understand they're going to be the most critical. Like I'm like, yeah, they'll tell me, but they'll tell me the truth. But they'll also be like, okay, they'll try and get to know the interview so they know. They'll just be like, okay, I know this person so this is what I got off of. Versus my parents, they could be a little bit more judgmental and it's just like, okay, but you only know him. Like I said, been there, done that, got the tee shirt and I told him, that's what I'm saying, like that's why I appreciate your opinion, but at the same time I have to take it with a grain of salt and go with it. It's true. I mean, just imagine it, right?
You went home and told your parents, both of you guys that you were dating a guy named Barack Obama minus the presidency minus, and when an office, just a regular guy,
just imagine what your parents said you were dating a guy who try, what he found was what's his religion? What are you believing? Right? No, not Christian Bay. [inaudible]. Yeah. So I'm sure Michelle probably got it too when at that point, you know he was broke. He was at Laurier studio all day. They find them. Yeah. I mean that matters not to your parents, to you it matters. But to your parents, they don't kill to hit a dude named Barack Obama. He didn't really [inaudible] with a guy look nice. You know, mom was like [inaudible] they do. But then a day when it comes down to there for a judgment, the person, I don't think it's based off of what they look like. You probably that's based on what they do. Where my was she petty, I mean we might IEP by the Madden what they look like. It's more so the things that they do and they show you. So like if they show, if the individual has showed them right. Cause the eight is about showing the family thing. Okay. So what about the Pluto lie? Do you feel like for a, to a certain extent that you are 100% BB or please view are your representative. Exactly. Yes. I agree. I think that's important to note because some people think I'm just going, I'm be who I am. And she's like, you want to here? And sometimes not at all. [inaudible]
but like sometimes I feel like, you know, you can't be who you all the time as much as be who you are. You can't necessarily who you are. [inaudible] and some people ain't gonna say no names [inaudible] they all the time. Right. And that's the fine in certain elements. But it's like this one thing like, you mean my parents? Can you just shift it just a little? I'm not gonna tell you not to be who you are. I totally agree with that. Cause I feel like there comes a point in a relationship, especially when you first, you know, join that marriage. That is that partnership or whatever you want to call it. Their relationship that you, you're going to have to build up to you are, you can't come in BB, you use the torque and at the functions first meeting the parent on its Daddy House on Zillow power meet.
That mama going to be saying, man, why is that little nasty girl exactly take up to whatever shoklo got her bro. Things were like family functions, so like say for instance, your significant other has a family function. You as that girlfriend or boyfriend, you need to sit up here and say, okay, I'm going to that function. Like you just started in the family. Now if you in the family for 45 odd, then you could sit there and decide, oh, I don't want to go to their family function. Obviously the good point, but if you just started with the family, you need to be, you have to attend these functions because that goes against you. Like you know, sometimes we'd be like, why they don't like me? Why don't they give me a chance? And it's like, because you haven't done, the thing is x. They build up that rapport with them.
They're thinking like you're just trying to hit their daughter and coming to piece me for dinner once and then when we had the next family function, you're not there. It's like, who is this person? Now I can understand if that person's family is just awesome, totally rude to you. And disrespect to a different level. Like when you come it, how would you classify, how would you describe disrespected? What's disrespect to y'all? Like if you come in it's body language, first of all. Cause you know, when, just like you said earlier, you know when somebody doesn't want to talk to you, most of the time you're going into a situation where you're dealing with rural parents or rude relatives, they'll not make eye contact with you. The answers and the responses will be short. Yes. And you'll just kind of know when people aren't engaged and want to get to know you, they'll, they'll expound on their conversation, they'll look at them, their bodies will be turned towards you versus like away, way away from you.
Yes. So you gotta pay attention to those subtle cues. Um, and they'll ask you questions versus you asking them questions like, where do you work? Or what do you do? What do you like that or whatever. And
again, some people are just not people like people keep us. So how do you just differ or how you differentiate being rude versus their moms or just, or dads are just introverts. How do you think you might likely be saying this about your body language? So like if somebody is sitting up here, kind of give you a cold shoulder, like you're sitting here engaging with them, but yet they over here turn to the side every time that you talk to them, at that point you turned away to talk to you. Or if somebody sits up here and says hi to an individual, but that person doesn't speak back, it's just like, okay, I'll try again.
Maybe you didn't hear me. Hello. How are you? And if they sit up here and say they roll their eyes or they just look at you, then it's just like, okay, well, okay, sure. Well with that. Okay. So do you guys believe in the Hasan though of like the first interaction or do you think that this played out? Be Honest. That's what I'm saying. I got my Liddell's cause and I'm like, why would I [inaudible] no more. To me, I don't understand like why people, why family members do that. Like I'm going to sit up here, like if you, like you said earlier, like if you, if my sister or brother brought somebody into my house or a family function, it's for a reason. They may not necessarily be good for them at that moment, but at that time I'm going to sit up here and figure out who this person is because she may not hear, she may not see that at the beginning, but let me sit up here and figure out who this individual is and present it to them and be like, well this is what I saw from this.
I don't know if you see it, if you don't see it a ton, that's fine. That's fine. I'm gonna let you figure that out. But eventually time will tell if that person isn't right for you. Um, so I feel like you shouldn't haze anybody. You should just be like, okay, well thank you for coming in and be hospitable and everything like that. Get to know that individual and then go from there. So don't take it to heart of the folks. Don't like you. Cause people didn't like Jesus. I mean when you put it like that, that in bed I went back, no we're not let the church say hey man. But when it all comes down to it, I just feel like, you know, I think that it's a certain, I think the significant other should warn you if you're coming into a dangerous zone. I feel like there should be awareness of like, cause some guys, it doesn't matter who they bring home, their family is just not going to be acceptable to them. Yeah. They don't think that their kids just like the upper echelon and you're not there. You know, you're coming in with two degrees. It don't matter to me. [inaudible]
you're not enough. So I just feel like, how do you not let that relay into the relationship piece? So like what happens if you really do not get along with your significant other? His Mom, dad, sister, brother, I broke up with the last dude. Um, based on that. Well because they, his family was a little slow and I didn't want my kids to come out with disabilities. Oh, they had like speed learning disabilities. Boy, his daddy was slew foot it. Got It. Okay. So on the flip side, you go to, y'all snuck out the house and they parents like not disabled, you know, is that a guard? Get outta there. Yeah. Get Out of there rolling things that you, if you see forth, you don't see that in your, in
Get out of there like please be dead. You, you gotta understand it skips a generation. So you got to look at IQ, intellect, because do you want to have a small child if you can help them. This is true. Was He slow a little? I found out that he was okay when he walked. His shoes was run over. So sometimes it's good to meet the families. You [inaudible] personnel because my child could have came out with buck teeth and slew foot. This Solaire booty. Huh? [inaudible] generation. So that would've been my baby with the book teeth and your slew foot as the exit. On the flip side, you could go meet somebody fell man. No he the one based on their, based on the family because it's that mentality and I mean that we didn't think
about that side of it. We just thought about the fact that, let me break it down because association brings about assimilation.
I'm a break it down. They kept that kid come on when my child goes go down there to see Grandmama, me, Ma and pop Paul. That beds are going to come back with some of them. Same messed up contrast traits. Excuse my language. Yeah they gonna bring that back. Yeah they gonna try to undo all the things that I miss dealing in my child. So in-laws make a difference. You've got to make sure these people are how you want the people that she want to be around your kids. Yeah. I'll go down to bed cause you, you know, good Lord willing, we going to reproduce, have beautiful families and wanting to make sure that what we're bringing into the world is of substance and I want my child slowly with slew foot feet with book teeth. I will say this you like,
say for instance, if your significant other's family does not like you or you don't care for your significant others family. What I will say, um, if it really matters to you as an individual, if you want to, if you see a life with this person, if your parents or your siblings or your family members opinion about your significant other really matters a lot, well then of course maybe you shouldn't take that in, consider you can take that in consideration and maybe you shouldn't, you know, continue that relationship. But in my personal experience, I feel like at the end of the day it's between you and that individual. So like if you feel like, you know, whatever you got, what your family is got going on or whatever, I feel like if you feel like this person is who you want to be with, regardless of how everybody else feels, then you rye with it and then you figure out for yourself at that person wasn't for you. Right.
Because, I mean, to me, I think that everyone up here is pretty family oriented and am I gonna lie? It would bother me. Yeah. But I think if I was the person who brought someone over and they didn't like my issue, I would have to know why. Like they need to make a clear, convincing concise statement as to what it is that they don't like. Gotta write your letter perfectly email [inaudible] they don't ever do that. [inaudible] I'd be okay with you. Your opinion. Seriously. You can't let it go. Right. Well you know with me in general, and I kinda had this conversation with my friends, so like if you ever have an issue or a problem with me, so like I say, I went to that person's house and you know, there was a problem, I would need to know why because I have no problem apologizing if I [inaudible] same way with that, let me know.
I'm a huge communicated like clear would tell you like it'd be be like if I have an issue or a problem, I'm going to communicate it. So I honestly, and this may be selfish on my part, but I expected to be communicated back and I noticed like always happen in life, you know, if the name this going on Facebook don't expect to get you from [inaudible]. I struggle with it. I struggle with it because it's like I'm so forthcoming. Like if I have an issue or problem I can lay it out. But everybody is not true. You have to live with it. Can't hold everyone to the same standards. Even family sometimes. Definitely. You know, we think that everybody should be, you know, performing at this certain level I'm forgiving or I can communicate with everybody does not have that same those skill sets because communication is a skill set.
Is it skill sets and maturity level and some people do not have that. They do not have it. And I just think that maybe, I think I wouldn't be as afraid. I guess if like the first time I met my significant other, this family and we weren't bobbing, I would at least give it two, maybe three more times or you know, I agree with you. I would keep going with it. I would try. I'm giving it one time so they don't like me off the jump. Something wrong with them. Period. Dead periods. You want to edit that out? Cleanse B. You notice you have a tendency to come off as a little bit high. Strong, not high strong. How would you, how
would you describe strong? Sounds like I have an anxiety disorder. I'm extras. Anxiety this shit. But she ain't noticed the fact that she's extra.
How? In what sense? They're not the same. Um, next question please. Because at the end of the day, we don't have to explain ourselves to inciting multiple though. Not going back over there ever, but still they didn't that same person. We don't go back over there. If they don't like me, they don't have to talk to me. So you ain't gotta treat me. Me What they laid to sell still the album, they ain't gotta bother. You Ain't got to treatment me. They ain't got to show me. Just be over there. I'll be over here. Sometimes it's like that to be honest, but at least you're around. And then when you take kids and when you have kids and you put them in their equation, you have to do those things for your children as well. Like even if you don't want to do it for your, your significant other.
But if you got to do it for your children and then sometimes maybe you just don't have to, maybe you can separate yourself from the whole thing. But again, that's when you in the family for a minute. Yeah. And that's when somebody really bluntly just disrespects you to tease where you just like, no, we [inaudible]. At what point can you get back disrespectful because I'm trying to figure out when can we get back. I think that I think that it has to be a situation where it's like one, you've been there more than once. I not say get back to their person on the first encounter. Not, not, not yet, no, not yet. Definitely. You know, I think that it just depends on the nature of like your relationship. You know, if you're trying to get their ring, I would say hold up the bar a little bit and then you can go be a little more clear on your segments because at the end of the day, a guy in our sins is gonna.
Like I know we were talking about significant others as a whole, but a guy, he don't love his mama, but he should come to your defense. It ain't gonna happen overnight though. At that point you're just a girl room. Right. I mean it wasn't gonna happen overnight me. If it does, then whoo. Maybe it's he makes him, cause he's like, and he knows his mom. Like he's a very aware of what's going on. For sure. For sure. I agree. I agree. I feel like at this point I feel like, you know, regardless if you like your significant other or you don't like your significant other. And Bryce for Sydney Family Lord, if you don't like your significant others family at the end of the day, somebody disturbing me. Y'All, they in the background he was trying to say so I'll end by the way. Clearly BB loves how significant the family, cause I'm right here.
I'm like cousin guy. This is true. This is true. Um, but I'm likable and sorry. Yeah that's true. It's [inaudible] spunky seasonally. It's, you see what I'm talking about Betsy will conversation beats and I'm talking about you really got people who don't like your phone. It's surprising to me. I mean I don't do anything like quiz me at the end of the day you will say that if someone like me is like spunky, like real talk, it's something wrong with them cause I locked the gate. I don't do anything about, don't bother nobody. She drank a hot water mine and her business, you know, calm and her house. But anyway, but baby, how would you, I guess wrap that on up or bring us all in as far as like if your significant other family doesn't like you, like you get that off the jump. Like how was you go?
Like you go over there on Sunday, you had dinner, mommy, you know day always going to be cool cause he like you, you think he cute but you know son I see you. Oh you get that [inaudible] you good? All right. I see. But you know brother gone be chill but something maybe on a thousand because her mom, you know [inaudible] so weak, weak. I mean I wouldn't say these things. I would say one give it a try again. Okay. To step outside your comfort zone. Okay. And so that means that it's something that you may be given off. True. Cause I mean you could be given off super reserved cause I mean who want us to depend and talk to a super reserve or UNMUTE, right. Do something. Yeah. Talk Spark conversation with
that individual. If they don't do what you sparkling with them, you can at least say you went in there and you try it.
Right. I mean cause if you said nothing the whole night or you just waited to everybody spoke to you, it's just like, okay well might be the weird person nicely so therefore you have to give it another chance. So I would say again, step out of your comfort zone. I would say try again in Aaliyah as well as if it comes to, you know, hey, they don't like you the first time. Well and you can be likely as many as you say, blonde playing, we don't like you, whatever. You ain't got to like me, but I'm a, I'm a still come over here and eat your food. It's a mutual, it's a mutual dislike, respect. So I just feel like, you know, hey, give it a done the chance. Get outside your comfort zone. Keep trying. If not, if you can't keep trying and you did all you could do, well then at that point you could just separate yourself.
Yeah. And you could just do it again for your significant other or do it for your children. Regardless. You know what you have in the equation situation. You have gone on quiz. What are your thoughts quickly, you know, be you. At the end of the day, don't compromise yourself, your morality, your personality for somebody else. If your significant other can't come to your rescue and make you feel comfortable, that maybe is not the situation for you. If they do come to your rescue and make you feel comfortable with the family, just deal is they're being buttholes for lack of better word. Right? Don't worry about, again, people didn't like, Gee, that's a big thing. Oh my Lord. And say that's a big thing now. Like there's significant other can come to your risk. You may need an accident. You May, you need to bring it to the attention and be like, let me provide you some feedback on what you did.
Not only do that, they'll have you know the a hundred percent that you came correct. If you came in with the right vibe, the right attitude, you know, you guys weren't beefing before you walked in the door because people I know, I, I peep it initially wave you walk in, you know y'all had an argument in the car, you walk in energy [inaudible] yeah, so I just made sure that that day, I'm not going to say you have to be basically fall is, but just take it as an interview. I may be on your pews and Hughes and just know that people are examining your every move from what you eat, what you decide to drink. You know how much I [inaudible] best significant others is watching you on what you do for that other person as well. So we're going to take a quick break and next we're gonna have the you cutesy cute and then we're going to talk about what happens if you do not like your significant others. You loud so don't go nowhere. We'll be right back. Your friends up fan.
Alrighty. So on this segment of you, cute, says cute. We're going to be talking about that family reunion. Okay. Since we were talking about family in the earlier part of this episode, we're going to keep it aligned and we're going to talk about at the family where you yeah. Did y'all see that? Um, thing on d g d c young fly. Um, and wild and out. That was hilarious.
Oh they had the island there. Clap their hands. They do that. Dad was, yeah. Oh yeah.
And [inaudible]. Yeah, yeah, exactly. Yes. Okay. So I have some tips for you guys because I'll be attending my family reunion this Friday. Shout out to my family. So I thought it would be good. Most of them are users are in the summertime. Ryan, I don't think anybody else's salary union is outside of the summer time. So if you are going to a summer time family reunion or have been to one already, these are some fashion tips because the u Q segment is always about giving you that boost of competence that you
need in order for you always to be cute. You hear me? All right. So these are the seven tips that I say that you need to bring when you go to any family reunion. All right? So you need shorts. Got to have them shorts cause more than likely if you part of a black family, you're going to have a barbecue fish fry.
Something like that. Debt you may have sold him hands. All right here you gang gangs. All right, so I number two would be a hat. So I say I dad cap or a straw hat, but people throwing shade, lot of people doing shades to cover your face and be like, you know what? I ain't got time for you today. I'm better than you. All right. Yes. Okay. Number three would be a cross body bag or a toped. Oh that's good. Okay. You definitely need those things. You need to talk just in case you want to carry around. Maybe your sister, cousin, baby diapers or something like that. I mean if you want to hit up our, you want to help out if you want to help out. But across body bag is definitely good for those things. I would say number four is sandals. Gotta have some sandals. You want to be told to, you know, make sure you get that pedicure done. Please get your feet done. Please to please do. Um, next would be number five is sneakers. So you may be walking around for long times of the day. You may be at a picnic. You want to sit up here and wear either sandals or sneakers. So sneakers is a good thing. Um, six would be either a maxi dress jumpsuit.
just start at number six. Okay, well we're good.
Number six would be a maxi dress. A jumpsuit or a mini dress. Okay. A Romanian, yes. Those are always great for summer time, so I would definitely put that in the bag. When you are going to your family reunion. And then the last one, would it be a tee shirt or a tank top? Oh, nothing [inaudible] do me because no, I mean it's your man come in or your bay come in, you know, significant other. Call it the bay come family made
light of all the size tee shirts. Okay. What did he say? What'd they say it, I'm ready to hear what they say at ya off air. Oh God. I think they'll listen to his wanting to know though. They say big t shirts six better than laundry Ray Sig. That's what I heard. Oh, I don't think I've heard B t shirts. They got to big tee tee shirts. No draw. Oh No, no draws t shirt and no panties. Hey, hey, you go. There you go. There it is. And then keep these three tips
in mind at the fam they bring you.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. Say Hey. Okay. Sorry. You need to have a good attitude, good attitude. Get Out of your comfort zone. Have Fun and make some memories. Yeah, so it's all about, I love it. I love every aspect of that. So always remember guys, whenever you do anything, you cutesy,
we're back. So now we're going to get into the interesting topic of, so what happens, let me, the other one was interested in, but now you by real, because you know you can't choose your family, but you can choose your friends. You can sense what happens if you don't get along with your significant others. Free is should we draw the line as far as like, you know, you have like friends and you got your friend problems. So what happens is the like their best friend, what are you and get along with them. Drop off. Can we get a scenario? So best friends as in we've grown up since we were like great schools. Yes. Okay.
And we're still remain friends, you know, as a cool person, we take trips together, et Cetera, et cetera. Now you've got this girlfriend or boyfriend that comes in. How do you assimilate? Like what role do you feel like you should play in as this significant other?
I feel like as the a significant other, you should kind of play the role just like you said as an interview. Um, because again, this is that person's friend, but at the same time, I mean, I say just be yourself cause I mean that's just another human being. That person can be gone just as fast as you go. So, I mean, at the end of the day, you may not see that person ever again. You may see that person again. So of course they're going to have those opinions about you and you're going to have your opinions about them. So at the time, at the same time, be yourself, I mean, and figure out where it goes to be honest
clues you, what do you think, do you feel like the friends should play a significant role when we talk about significant other? Like
how much basis would you give them? Okay.
With all things. Um, I think we talked about this on our last segment about taking everything with a grain of salt. I feel like if you're, if the friend you know, has a legitimate reason as to why they don't care for the significant other, like maybe they just saw them, you know, on the corner smoking crack or something like that, wouldn't they? Would the neighborhood d boy crack? Okay then right shut. And if I bought a shot at Shelby worth a receipt to go with receipt, then anyways. So if they have a significant reason, there may be. Yeah. But at the end of the day is different strokes, different folks at that. If the friend doesn't like you, I don't think that should be a deal breaker.
You know, your guy or your girl. It shouldn't be. But I would say listen to the reasons why. Yeah, for sure. But again, always turned off for the watchmen. Yes. Because, okay, with me, this is a little different than family because one, like I was speaking earlier, so you can't choose your family, but you can choose your friends. Right. So in a sense, maybe you just didn't pick the right friend. I mean, could that be possible? I mean we, I think we've all had friends that come and gone for different, various reasons. Also a point to be made friends, no matter how long you've known them, can be gently yeah. That gloves out to get jealousy is a thing. Yes. Because if your friend is in dating in new one at the time, and then you bring around, you know, I go through at this table, you know, cute girl personality, got some go on for themselves. They're lying. What? Damn right. If I don't hate, I'm gonna lose my friend and it's going to be me out here about a law Parlin and these lonely clubs, these lonely concerts, you know, it is me and him, you know [inaudible] so I think you have to be, is extremely or more cautious when it comes to your friend. Hey on your significant other versus your family. What do y'all think?
No, that's real. That's real deal.
So you will be more cautious if your friends says something versus your mom or your dad or sister or brother, like your intermediate family.
Oh, would you weighed the same? You could wait the, that way. The same. I definitely wear my parents and my family's opinion on my significant other versus my friend. If my friend sits up here and said something going be like, okay girl, Yay, I see where you're coming from. But I'm good though. You know? So it's just like, but if my family says that I can essentially may say the same thing, but I'm going to be like, I'm going to take a step back and be like, hm, what are their reasons? Because you know they raised like they invested as you, they inspires you, they recognize you from beginning to end, you know, so they have a little bit more investment versus their friend versus, yeah. And then like I said before, that frank can be here today and gone tomorrow, so that's it up here and listen to what that person had to say and took it in and then in and then just kind of regurgitated it out. Right. I mean it could essentially just be like, okay, did I literally it up? Is that somebody
who was just jealous at the period x or not used to the friend catering to someone else versus different, yeah,
I've had that situation happen. A is, yeah. Not a good
situation. Have you ever had a relationship where you feel like the friend was priority versus your relationship or their opinion? Meritor more than yours?
Not so much now I feel like that should have been an issue. Yeah. Maybe when we were younger bags
because now everybody is pretty much, it's kind of like living their own lives. I think the whole peer pressure and like wondering or worrying about what somebody else thinks that that should've been in the past. Now granted everybody has [inaudible]
not reach that level of maturity. But you know, if, if you're a mature person, you should be surrounding yourself with mature people for sure you're going to grow from. So I feel like now when we're in our late twenties early thirties we shouldn't be, you know, taking too much, putting too much stock in all my friend or like my girlfriend or my friend or like my guy. So it shouldn't be a big issue. You know, at this point in our lives, no, I agree with 100% unfortunately I've had the circumstance where I was dating a guy in the fringe. I was way too invested. I need ways or best, it was to the point where it was like, damn, are you dating me or are you dating a friend? And of course that can be that the issue becomes when the friend is of a different sex. So like you're female and you're dating a guy and his friend is speaking is also a woman. Ooh, that backhoes some issues. You have no idea why. I've never really had that many guy friends, so I never had that many girlfriends again. I've only had like one or two [inaudible] did they? No offense. They like girls. That's questionable.
Okay. So I ask that only because like I've had several guys I thought were friends and then like all of a sudden they turn, I'm just like, why am I going to ask who right now? Like real cool. And it's cause they like you. So I guess it's Kinda hard to
put them in a position I learn. You cannot have guy friends,
you really can't [inaudible] they always have a hidden [inaudible]. They always have never had a guy who is definitely, especially if you have some goal for yourself, like you can't trust them because of their
day. They may feed you some somewhat by that, Ooh, I don't like him. Oh, I can't judge him. I'm getting a eyes from the bay. What's going on over here? Okay. Correction. Somebody in the audience may be aware that I have had a guy friend, my guy friends, my husband. Oh, y'all start as is. That's the ultimate relationship though. Wait, were you dating somebody else by? He came in the picture. Um, that was a little too long. The bond date. That's what you want me to do, right? [inaudible]
oh, so did he ever complain about you being friends with my cousin? Uh, hey. Oh yeah. Oh you want a friend? Oh Hey, just got you. Interesting. We just can't be friends. Deborah Coxon Arielle Avia. [inaudible] come on. Yeah, trifling. I'm done. I'm done. Okay. Nick. In my particular instance, I don't feel like it was an emotional connection as far as like wanting it to be romantic. I don't think, you know, like at thought they were like just legitimately friends. And I mean, on one hand you be like, oh my friends can all this, go have my bed. They gonna tell me what's really going to do. But on the, hey, you gotta be like, Yo, they don't have nobody. Like they see you dating somebody else's. A threat. Yeah. You are a threat to our friendship, I can no longer call you at midnight. I can no longer try and hang out with you out in any day of the week.
Like it's always going to be an issue because you're dating somebody this. So I mean I just, I have mixed feelings and then BB is like a victim of the whole friend, quote unquote, but I'm dating somebody else, just don't do it. Don't do it. So at any point, did you know that my cousin likes you? Why you were dating the Guy? She yeah, I mean but there was also questions as far as if he liked me or not. Wait, we'll wait. Like two wishes if, if your cousin Joseph liked me. So you were dating someone, you had questions if, whether or not he liked HSA. So, but wait, why did you even consider that factor? Cause he was different from all the guys that have ever talked to, including the one you were currently talking to them. So like I was talking to people, he was just talking to people too.
And so like, so why he was doing his thing. And I was doing my thing. Like it was just weird. He wasn't, he didn't approach you like a normal guy would approach you. Like most dudes be like, I'm gonna take you out. This is so scandalous because you have to be weary of this though. I mean, yeah, because your guy could be like, Yo, I, I'm feeling slip away. Like you sure you don't want to check that. So how would you, how would you have taken that though? The guy would have been like, Yo, I think that he likes you. Would you have cut off all communication? I did at one point. At one point. So at what point did you not, um, fuck, I'm going to deposition. So at what point did you know cut off communication? I didn't cut off communication with talking to other guys and tail. We really got into almost before we got into a relationship. Okay. So you and the other guy were dating and then that's when you cut off. Tucks the guys up. Okay. [inaudible]
I don't blame you. I feel like in that point in time it should be, I feel like, oh, the door relationship had been a lot different. Yeah, for sure. This was like, I was talking to people and he was talking to people, but I never had like one significant other that I was talking to you if he came into picture. So he's just like, you do your thing. I do my thing. Okay. Still doing our thing together. Okay. And so like I was, it was always skeptical to me as if he really liked me or not. But like for the long haul, like I got shot. It's like, I know he likes me. Right. But cause who wouldn't like you? I mean you're gorgeous. Thank you. Well, I don't, I'm pretty sure there's people out here who loaded girl ugly. Nah, Nah, they probably blind.
Crazy. Send me a DM and I Nah, we got to have a conversation. Right. I know. Like, you know, literally that's when, when I figured out that he was like for real, for real. Oh, what? He said he always premium pay for Rio, but I ain't know that. Okay. And that's fair because if you're talking to them, I and some other guys posts you just thinking like, oh this is what the competition and back then I'm just like, oh I
just want to know that I can take her from somebody if I wanted to. So I get that. But I feel like he always went into it. Like he knew he could take me from somebody else. But well look at us. He is confident he got two house Mary's. Yeah, the kid on the way here. I love it. You should get on the wait, whoa, whoa, whoa.
Oh that's what I got over here. Oh, you pointing that out? Oh my.
No, cause he's currently drinking one. So no, I think I use, so for all my friends listening, I got pregnant. Okay. Seven and Matata somebody like, no please.
Okay. Guys, public service announcement program. But in the event though, how would you even explain that to the guys you're dating? I mean this guy, oh, this girl has been in his life for like 10 to 15 years. You just met him three months y'all. Six months in like how do you communicate Yo, I don't think this person is like really the one that's like benefiting the wrong your behalf. Like genuinely being sincere about his disdain or his opinion of me. Like how do you communicate that without sounding like I hate her best. My look when I'm thinking I do a little noise like that comes before something profound. All right, come on profound. Come on doc. Dr Clean. Leave me my ass. Ask Your question one more time please. Thank you ma'am. How do you decipher if you're the person who's dating someone? That person is like, Yo, I hate spunky. I hate BB. Like they're the worst person ever. Like in your mind, you know, we're jiggly your friends. Yeah. So how do you decipher if we're just hating versus we're just telling you the truth? Like how do you balance
that? Do you communicate at all? Do you just maintain your relationship and then just when y'all all meet up, y'all meet up or like how do you handle this? So how do you know if you're afraid as being 100 or just Hayden? Yeah, I mean it all boils down to trusting your instincts. I, you know, and if your instincts suck, don't trust them. But typically humans, we have innately something in us that tells us, hey, this is right or this is wrong. You can call it spiritual, you can call it whatever you want it to want to call it. But we, we, we know innately and so it's like your gut and you're good. And my mom always tells me trust your good. And that's kind of my philosophy about things. If you know that you have, you know, met somebody and you trust them and you, you know, you feel like they are of good character and somebody else comes in and tells you this is not the case.
Well you know, we can do it like justice system, uh, innocent until proven guilty. Definitely. And you know, kind of like I just assist them. It depends on what the, that's another store. Exactly. But you know for sure you have to use your, your better judgment, your own discernment. You know, we were too grown to, to take everything to somebody else at face value. And say, okay well they said I can't talk to this person. So almost [inaudible] kids cause you miss all your blessings, you miss out on stuff like that, that you have a brain and then a day do you feel like you know that person has a different level than your person? Just meeting them on the first instance, you know like you know that person more like they could just be a bad day. Like I have several bad days. If you catch me on a better day then you might like me more than, so you just got to use your own, your best judgment, you're on discernment and take everything that people said. Say with a grain of salt BB, how do you feel? Cause you're married, you know, you kind of world that way. Not necessarily meaning that your friends didn't like your husband or your at the time boyfriend, but just if they were to say something negative, how would you handle it? Like what you'd be like, you know, well I appreciate your opinion but this is my love. Like I love this person knowing
me. I would do that. I would say I appreciate your opinion and I would listen you, I would hear you out because I'm always that person who curious individuals out, whatever, regardless of what they have to say, regardless if I like it or not. But I would definitely sit up here and say thank you for your opinion. Thank you for sharing that with me. I'm glad that you felt the need to bring that up to me. But, um, at the same time, you know, this is not your relationship and I have to sit up here and figure that out for myself. Just like with your family, you have to, you know, kind of be truthful with your family and say, Hey, I respect you. I honor you. But at the same time, I can't do that right now. I have to sit up here and listen to my gut and go with this. And that's extreme. Like it's hard. One of the hardest things that I've ever had to do, I personally do not like being stuck in the middle, any type of friendship, um, family, ship, whatever you want to call it. Um, and when I'm forced to
be in that type of situation, it is hard to do. It's hard to sit up here and tell that individual like, I love you. We been down since the knee house to the tree house, but at the same, you know, I have to sit up here and go where, how I'm feeling at the moment. And right now I love this person because I know them more than you know that person and like, you know, you can give me your, your better judgment or whatever you want to call it. But at the same time, again, I'm with that person and I have to see these things for myself and as, as it, as individuals and as adults, you kind of have to just see things for yourself and realize like, Hey, what that person was talking about. And then I can always go back and be like, you know what girl you was right. You are rice all alone in a day like it, this situation doesn't play out right with that guy that everybody warns you about our ever viral was talking about, you know, it's like you kind of have to come in. Well I got humbleness. I was just like, hey, you know like y'all, I didn't see it. I was dumb. [inaudible]
right now I see it and I probably won't, I won't make those mistakes anymore. Right. Because you'll be able to pp on the answer of just like the characteristics of that particular person. But I just think it's extremely tough. I think for me I would have to know why. I mean always go back to me. I have to know the why. Like you have to have a solid explanation. The control thing. Spunky. I mean for sure not to missy. Yeah, I'm a extreme cause y'all free when it comes to that because to me I like the one control the situation, which is terrible cause my kids, I feel sorry for them. My future kids like I'll be like, Yo, who, what, when, where, how and that I know I going to be, and sometimes you gotta be like the it deal. But I just feel like with me, if you could explain why or how that to me is valid to your argument if you're just going off of, oh he gave me this vibe or he just made this comment of this or he just said that like that does resonate with me.
I can't relate that to my actual situation. Or I can relate that to a situation I've seen before. Play it out with this individual. But what if they tell you why and you still don't agree because okay, I will relay this back to how many times have you been around this person? And it's like what did they give off on that particular instance to where you could have a definite y? What if they don't know? They just hate mad, jealous, whatever else. That emotion you want to yell. This aspect I can't help you with. And when it comes to friends, I would have to know my friends. Like I know that clues me is extremely critical so she's going to let me know and I'll set up things that I may or may not want to hear because that's our personality. She's going to point it out, Yo, this, this, this and that.
I'm my name is see the on the first initial meeting. So with her it's not, like I said, I take our comments out with a grain of salt or it opened up this that I put her in a box of her observations and I think that you take what she says add value, but you need to, so I would take what she says at value and then I would apply it to my daily interaction with that person. If I started to see, I'm going to like, oh this was, she was talking about, but do you feel like you take in consideration too many opinions and that's why
you're kind of just like, Eh, maybe you're not it. No, like me in general. As far as the, maybe you not it, I've seen something for myself. Nobody really brought anything to me as far as like, Yo, this person say or this person that at night, Nah, I saw, I like, and that's another thing with me as a particular person and like I had to see that for myself, keep it outside and say all day. But it's like if I don't see it for myself, I don't really hear what you saying. Right? Yeah, I know, I know. I think it, we're adults. [inaudible]
you have to use it. Definitely. And I feel like me in particular, not saying that you guys aren't, but I'm a very, I guess not necessarily emotional thinker, like I'm not thinking totally only emotion I'm thinking of. I see things at face value. Yeah. I used logic mom. Completely emotional. Definitely. And that's why you should be cautious when other people say something or I go off all emotions. I'm a Pisces, I'm, I'm, I stay in the Wallace. I stayed. That's why Janae, I listen to her. She, my phone mates, she was born six days after me, you know, that's off topic, but I be in my feelings. That's the, that's the, the basis of this shoe though, not going can be my feelings. Yeah. So I understand. So at the end of the day, like how would you sum this all up? Like how would you relate this all back to I guess if people go focus, I'll send a circle. It's like how dealing with significant other and family or friends, whether or not you like them or not. Like I'm like how,
Well I say w uh, when it comes to friends and or family, you uh, you assess the situation,
how come all bring it. Bring it on. Preach preacher tea. Take your time. Take your time. Wow, I have. So,
and we're going to be your friend or your family USSD situation. However, maybe be pertaining to where your are with that individual.
That's true. I don't feel like though, they should be me. Your family though, if you don't want to see and that's how I obtained my life. I'm now like bound that seeing a future. Yeah. You should not be this from experience. So y'all listened to her, Yo and you that scene up usually with somebody. Do not bring them on your family, your close. Everybody doesn't deserve that, to be honest. They know they really don't. So I mean don't even waste your time, you know?
Yeah. And that says the situation, however it is per entertaining to that individual. And regardless, that'd be your family regardless. That'd be your friend and make your own decisions.
Yes. A case by case scenario. Yeah, definitely taken consideration. Your family, your friends, because I do that. But it's based though what it is as far as like what's your second as consideration? They're saying, oh, I saw this person out with three other girls. Yo take keys to them. But if it's a, oh, he got disrespectful of me based on my comment. It's like, you know your mom, if your mom is sarcastic person, of course they don't get targeted with, do you do it? So I think it's all about what they're saying. Listen to that person, at least taken considered
[inaudible] and what they're saying, hear them out. But don't sit up here and take it at face value where you're just like, you're accusing to your significant other like you did this right. You know him because my best friend told me that you was out cheating
is so it's just like me who she, whoa. Yeah,
of course you, you know, you gonna it's going to red flags going pop up. Like wait a minute and best friends just told me you was cheating. Like where are you cheating kind of thing. But at the same time you have to figure out, you got to get the receipts from best used to that to get the receipts. Yeah.
Her being your best friend is not the safe Dyson. That's not it alone. It has to be something else. Man. Could be, hey can be hated.
Question before we sit up here and wrap it up again. Do you feel like it's your best friend's place to tell you if she sees your mate and you,
what'd you got? Clues me. This is a, um, this is shaky ground. It is and then it all boils down to what kind of relationship do you have with your friends? Yeah, if I saw Spunky's significant other out. First and foremost I'm taking pills. Yes I need received. Cause you know I'm more of myself but like who was he with? I'm taking what happened. I'm taking videos, I'm walking up to this N***a. Yeah. Okay. Hey, who are you? How are you? That's me. Because when I bring it to my friends, facts, facts, I'm not speculating. I'm going to step. If it's my friend, friend, if it's anybody else or associate whatever, I'm not going to investigate what is my girl? Yes. Oh, I'm running, I'm running background show. I'm the same way. And the only difference between me and cleanse me is the approach. So I'll become a [inaudible] like we just so cool like me and to do it like Yo [inaudible] clears me is like wait what you're doing my friends so bad what you're doing.
I feel with this raggedy girl, like she got really long. Like I'm still at like we're the best of friends. No, that puts him at ease. And the girl going to be like, oh she cool. I'll make you open them. Hello. Unconference. Exactly. But quiz me, it's gonna make the situation extremely authentic if I'm doing stuff right. So that goes into the bowing your friend though. Cause honestly that could be his sister. She don't know his sister. She don't know his cousin. Just tell him you don't know. So it's like you have to know your friends and I know my friend didn't approach that the right decision. However, I do know she go come back with the right receipts. I'm trust what she's saying. So at the you are to him like you all it text a friend, you go on call, they do you wait, do you do eat immediately?
No, I'm going to do it immediately.
So what is she like at home? By six news babies. Okay. If it's breaking news, breaking news, no time. When, when, when, when a tear was hit, the um, the twin towers, did they wait?
Did they wait? No baby. Well, what have you need to collect some more information? You know, you saw what you saw. I saw what I saw and did you pick up body language and et Cetera? You're going to know? I wouldn't, I wouldn't call my friend if it was just on some, you know, speculation type stuff. No. If I call my friend on something, I'm going to know at that point. First of all, he shouldn't be out with nobody and then she didn't know. But again, I'm taking pictures, I'm asking questions, I'm getting a new grill, like hey,
how are you? Which I doing right and this is Zack because all legit as that because I thought that you were with my friend. Oh, I've got a sworn you were married. You missing your ringtone? [inaudible] getting clean. Yeah. Oh, that's me. Yes. Put it all. Okay. Total the opposite. I'm the opposite. Like I'm on [inaudible] o n and I'm a run off. I'm [inaudible] at all. I don't get it twisted, but that's okay. We haven't even addressed the fact that at the end of the day their friend is not your friend. Yeah, we have no, we
have not touched on that because a lot of times you'd be like, oh, that's my guy, best friend. He's calling me. He gonna let me know is something going on? Just the last question would be, what if friend don't believe, you know, like what are the friend that you tell? I was out with some other dude.
Don't believe you. If she believes she, she take the Saturday, the dude, you peep it and you never address it again because that's what I, Andy our friend, shoot. You peep it and you'd be the, I see where we are. You'll want to know. So I'm gonna leave you like Mario is and I'm going to be out. We got sit, but then, then we still have our friendship. Just don't talk to me about that. Do you think phase we have families don't breathe. Don't write about June. Yes. Yes. And I think that this a really a on my character was, I feel like at that point you saying I'm a hater. I ain't never been no hiter. Right. Bye. Hey, wait. Hey, I'm, I'm, I'm congratulating you on me. And somebody you asked you light. So I think it's to how the person presents that information to for sure. Like if it's on some girl, I go, dude, he was with him with the girl, Dah, Dah, Dah. Like, that's totally [inaudible].
It's like [inaudible] like it's totally their reimburses, you know, Gleeson. So I was out, you know, I picked the sane, I walked up to him, we had a conversation. Oh girl was like this, this and that. You know, I was Super Kootenai and I was super cold, so she was really rolling off of the mouth of mine. Everything they did, you know, I got my receipt. Yeah. But either way you're going to get what you need because if you come up and you're just being, and you're being like me, you're still going to get a response from old girl. You Still gonna get up. She feeling weird. [inaudible] so it was more than what it is you gonna pass out. Or you can say the diplomatic route, like, you know, spunky or whatever. That's true. She's single. Unless you know what it is, I'll let you know. Keep the female.
You gotta look at the female reaction cause she goes, she's going to look back at a dude like what's going on with what? Who is who is, who is she referring to? Because I thought that we were on our day. You're in a relationship so don't not say boy, cancel out the phrase. Be some old boys baby boy. What is you doing all right. Right. No that's right. That's why I think we had a great conversation today about as far as like you being not liked by your significant others, family or friends. It's something that we all face and is always that anxiety before you meet them. Cause you, I mean they, you want to look your best, you want to be cool. You want them to all come back with positive comments. I mean I don't care what anybody says like everybody wants their significant others, family or friends to like them. For the most part. I would definitely say on the female end, we tend to care about that for sure. This is important to, so I think that you should do your best to kind of impress. But at the same time, be yourself, always be you. I think you really summed it up very well. Spawn Cabri shade there. Definitely. So again, before we
in any episode, we always hit you guys with the quotes and today's quotes is by Cee Lo Green. Shout out to him, hey, it's tolerance, compromise, understanding ups, acceptance, patience. I want those all to be very sharp tools in my shed.
Run it back, run it back, run it back.
Tolerance, compromise, understanding, acceptance, patience. I want those all to be very sharp tools in my shed. So just take all those in consideration whenever you're trying to meet your family, your significant others, family for the first time for the umpteenth time, whatever for your significant other. There's friends for again, for the first time on a team time, just taking consideration, tolerance, compromise, understanding, acceptance and patience. And if you keep all those in your shed, you never know what can come of those things. Okay? Their relationship with each of those individuals and they start off rocky at first, but you never know. Consider those things. We never hit on that as far as it could
change. The change is always changed once you have those tools in your sheet. Yeah, those tools in your shed. Come on, bring them out and keep them in your she shed it. Burn down. I swear. I hope not, but bring them out whenever need be at insurance. You will be okay. You hear me? Let's all stay stairs. Are you in good hands? We are in good hands when we are with cleans B. All right. Wow. We want to thank as B. Yeah,
our pres. Yay. Oh, all right. I can't do that. So I will not be participating. I got you.
Thank you. Please be no problem. I loved being. Yay. Thank God for having me. I love it. Hey everybody, I'm with lifting. He what's up? Hit me up on Instagram. What's your Instagram please? Bay on discord. C. L. I. S. B. A. E. A please. [inaudible]. Okay, and before we get outta here, please, please, please, please subscribe to iTunes or Spotify. Go. That's G. U. L. Okay. G. U. L as well as you can follow us on Instagram at glow. Ladies. Yes, as well as you can check us out on Twitter at underscore. Hey, good. Or it's either Haygood underscore, I'm going to get that right. And then last but not least, I want somebody, anybody's, yes, it's the your mama cousin them. Please, please send us an email at contact and hey, glow up ladies. Doc, I think Alma started off. I'm going to send the email. You have to be there for you. You don't want to talk to me. I think they had the peace department.
Nobody else. No one will email for me or you know,
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I ran hers up here on me. I'm from [inaudible]. I'm trying to see some way y'all want to go. Dr Right now I'm gonna get raped. Oh, they killing people. You okay? Oh Man. It's always whatever. One person. We're going to sit up here again. We got our, our listeners shout out to our followers. Yeah. Make sure you guys send us some love. Some non though whenever you want it. Right? [inaudible] at [inaudible] dot com thanks for listening and voting
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