welcome to you.
Not g u h good. Not Goon, but g u l good. So if you actually like roll your tongue to the top of your mouth, you'll stay properly. Like good luck. It just should roll off your tongue. But anyway, um, this is glow up ladies podcast. Um, and so I guess I could talk a little bit about like where the inspiration came from and like what is good or glow up ladies? The podcast. So good. The inspiration came from my sister. Um, we're five years apart and she's like the best in the world. Um, but that's my nickname for her. I call her go. It literally came out of nowhere if it, I don't even know where it came from. Um, but it's literally Kinda like, just think of the slang version of girl, but like what a little bit of twist. So that's basically what it is.
Um, but the podcast itself is here to inspire, uplift, empower, and inform, um, women on how to glow up and glow up can mean a lot of different things to a lot of different people. The word just came popular, you know, not too long ago. I want to say like last year, within the last two years for real. Um, so glow up can mean a lot of different things to different people. Um, but basically we're here to heighten your experiences in life, your situations, um, that way nobody can like tamper it in a negative way. Um, so we're going to, you know, give you guys different topics on how to glow up, um, regardless if that senior, your relationship and your career, um, you know, in your friendships, things of that nature. So I don't do this podcast alone. I have two other people, they my goods. And so I'm going to introduce myself and then I'll go ahead and introduce, um, my guys on the show or girls on the show. Um, so I'm bebe and I'm 27 years old and I'm from Atlanta, Georgia.
I'm Joey and I am 33 years old from Birmingham, Alabama. I am spunky and I am 31 years old. Have to think about that. My birthday's later this year. I'm 31 years old and I'm from Birmingham, Alabama. I wish I was somewhere from somewhere cooler like Atlanta, like, oh, it's okay. Birmingham coming out for in progress, work in progress. I mean it's like literally from the time I've been here for like a over two years, like from the time I've been here back and forth with, um, like dating Joseph, the place has grown a lot. Um, I mean, I know you guys been here like your whole life, so you're just like, ah, yeah, whatever. But like from the time I've been here from like those, that period or whatever, I want to say little over six years now, um, it's grown. It's grown. Cause I've, I've seen where it was before and I'm just like, I definitely agree.
Like there's more growth downtown to downtown areas and on the south side. And literally the first time I came to visit Joseph, which is my husband by the way, he like, I literally always used to say like, why is your downtown so empty? I've never seen a downtown so empty. I'm like, what is going on? Like, why are these building so vague? I said, is this a downtown? He was like, Yep, this is downtown. It's been this way for a very long time. I'm just like, okay, I don't get it. But like it's nice to see that there's, you know, people in places and you know, self opening. Like that's been a kind of a transition to all around the United States where the downtown growth is kind of Oh yeah, for sure. For sure. I think it is, it's definitely building up, uh, because a lot of people are getting into, you know, real estate and buying condos.
I feel like now we're going to have more condos and stuff here than there are people to feel them. Right, exactly. That's what scares me. It's like the trickle up and then the heart crushed down and we don't need a 2008, nine. Yeah. Yeah. They could take the bump. It was going up a little too fast. Cause I mean, I know they're going to have the world games here, but it's just like, okay, what one seven day event.
And I'm just like, so you guys are building up all these condos or hotels or whatever they're going to be. But I'm just like, what about parking? Yes. Cause we definitely need parking. Right. Definitely. I was like this one thing that the city does, definitely, they just does not have enough. It doesn't have enough parking. So since, um, we done Chichen about Birmingham ever possession? No know [inaudible] I have to shut up the suburb of Hoover at the, you know, [inaudible] I know my friends from New Orleans then for a while, my college friends, they were like, you're not gonna buy me Cam. And I'm like, no one else knows about. Literally like, where were you born? Oh, I was born in Fairfield. Bellwood to be exact. Oh. So it's like, oh, okay. Yeah, yeah. All good things came from Fairfield very late for days.
I don't know anything about that, but yeah, you weren't [inaudible] which I'll talk about. That's cool. Okay, so we're going to go ahead and get into what the topics of the hour crime. So, um, since the podcast is about uplifting women, we want to talk about, um, what it mean or our definitions of being a woman. So I decided to sit up here and get the real definition from Marion Wipster. Um, and see, you know, how we compare our definitions to the real definition. So by definition it says a woman is an adult female person or a woman belonging to a particular category as by birth, residence, membership or occupation usually used in combination. Hmm. Interesting.
I was like, when I read it, I was just saying that's an interesting definition. And then like most of the definitions was literally like an adult female person. And so it's so crazy. Like this is kind of like off of what I just read, but it's so crazy when I was listening to somebody else's podcast and they were talking about like, like what it is to be a woman or how you identify as um, and then like the person who was talking, they were, um, a scientist or some type of doctor and they were saying that, uh, you defined your, you're defined as a woman by your environment. So just because you have the chromosomes that make you a woman doesn't mean that you're a woman. And I was just like, this is interesting that you're, you're like, I was like, this is somebody in science saying that just because your chromosomes say that you're a woman doesn't mean that you have to be a woman.
Like if you grew up, even though you were born, like you have the genitalia of a woman like you, if you grew up in the every, like your parents thought you were a man, like they dress you like a boy, everything like a boy, then you literally can say, Hey, I'm a man. So that plays to the whole idea of the social norms when it comes to gender roles. Because with that you're saying that even though I'm physically a woman, if I had the ideologies of a man, then I could take on that form. Right. That's what they were saying. That was their point. And I thought it was very interesting and different cause I was just like, Oh wow, I've never heard that before. And I was just like to just say that this is your, how you grow up basically. Um, and how, you know, your ideology is, is who you want to be.
So if you want to be, you have, even though you have a vagina, you can say, Hey, I'm a man, or even though you have a beat, hey, I'm a woman. It was just very interesting to me. Some I would like to say my definition of being a woman. Um, I kinda it like when it, when we talked about it, like I literally was just like, you would think it would just automatically come to you about like what's your definition of being a woman? But then like I literally thought about it like really hard. I'm just like, hm, it requires some. Yeah. I was like, what is my definition of being a woman? And so I literally wrote it down cause I was just like, I have all these little thoughts and I thought I'd write it down or whatever. But basically I came up with what a woman means to me is sharing a special connection past the superficial and physical, which bonds us together to only be spoken of as magical and powerful. Um, being a woman is something only a woman can understand.
Um, and I definitely think it's the most fascinating and beautiful thing that was ever created to be honest. I mean, I don't know if I just say that because I'm a woman, but I just really feel that way about women. I agree. Well, I just think is beautiful. Like I think we have, we hold the power when it comes to everything. Um, and even though some women don't know that, but like you hold the power, um, of everything being a woman. So I just feel like, you know, you, we utilize that and any, they just basically excretes from us on every single aspect of our lives. Joy, wish. What are your thoughts? Um, so when I think about myself as a woman, I think about just, um, being a masterpiece of beauty and Stratton. Um, and I know I'm a mother, so you know, that that strength comes from when I think about strength, just that the everyday, um, task of, uh, balancing motherhood and my professional career and, um, just lifestyle in general. And, um, also, you know, just being able to give birth to give life to another thing, um, is, is just something that is amazing. Um, it's amazing. And, um, and we're the only ones that can make that happen. So how old is your daughter? She's four. She's four. Her name's
Ms Noah. Hey Noah. Um, she has four.
Um, and she is miss personality and she loves people. She always wants company and um, but yes, that is, that is what I think of when I think of woman and womanhood. Just being a masterpiece of beauty, strength, selflessness. Um, we're going to have to meet Noah.
Yes. She wanted to come home. She would have been great. She'll come next time. Yes. Yes. So what'd you think spunky? I really feel like you guys are going to slip and say my real name on here. Am I going to be over? It's going to be hard for me. It's like I know when I call you on a regular basis. So I'm just like, I have to catch myself when I'm just like, but if I had the blue woman or who we are into words or into an expression, it would be a woman is a strong overthinker with a huge responsibility over the gift of life. And of course the strength comes rooted in the fact that we were here to bear children. We were given from the rib of a man. So we were here to support them in some regards. I don't, let's not take that too far. Right. But we do have that same responsibility that we were given, I guess inherently as a woman and of course the overthinkers. I am the worst. Overthinker no, I do the same thing. I really have. We all do. I don't know what it is about. I just really wish that I could have that personality where you just see things for face value and just keep it moving. I'm like, yeah, Huh. It's a, but what have we flipped it upside down?
So it can be a lot. It's sometimes, and of course the huge responsibility over the gift of life. I maybe think about it. You take all the women off the planet and it is nothing like can not recreate and procreate with I guess the male dominant gene. And I just think this just says an awesome trait that we take, um, sometimes for granted and is, is really our responsibility to train up the next generation. I think personally, um, to be the who we, I guess we foresee what we want the world to be because if we give life then we're responsible for the next [inaudible] that there we should take as human patients. Look at you, you drop in the gym pile. Good, good. It's good like that. So I would say like, since do you feel like as you're know you're, you guys are in your thirties do you feel like we're in our thirties I mean,
well 21 year over there, you know, did your like close before me?
Since you guys are in your thirties like how do you feel like you have like evolved since you know, you're from your twenties since you like your senior or lead. Do you feel like there's any difference? It's like being a woman, Joanne Liddy you start, goodness, where do I begin? The her home
one, one big change. Um, regarding me bobbing from my twenties to thirties is the, um, the my mind, my state of mind, my mindset. And that's just to embrace what Joey wants and when Joey feels its best regardless of what society tries to project on to me or other women, um, and what they deem as appropriate or, um, acceptable. But it's more so like, you know what, this is where I am in my life and I choose Joey, I choose Joey. I choose to trust my good, trust my instinct and make the best decision for Joey. And um, and that, that's just where I am. And I think that's the biggest lesson that I've, that I've learned thus far. One of the biggest lessons that I've learned this far and that has just come from, of course, just years and, and growth, but also, um, just life experiences and realizing that, you know what? It's in my twenties I was making decisions for other people and it got me nowhere, nowhere that I wanted where I wanted to be. Um, and in some cases it was just necessary, but also unnecessary for me to learn particular lessons. And um, I don't want to do that anymore and I'm not going to it anymore.
I'm going to be Joey, I'm going to embrace everything that I deem as important and valuable in my life for my life and embrace being a grown 33 oh one eight yes, yes. Being a mom and then yes, that's great. When I was 29 going into the 30th I just thought there was going to be this magical being of me to inspire you for this distant land of I guess just wealth, health and knowledge and just being this super person. And I think at 30 everything really slows down. I'm up until that point I kinda was not necessarily in our rush, but a lot of my friends, they were getting married, they were having kids. And you know, I'm this second year in law school and I'm like 28 so if I took five years off in between going to Undergrad and in law school, which I needed that time, so anybody out there who had to take some time off before going onto your professional degrees, I'm right there with you.
I wouldn't have probably made it through college, straight from Undergrad to law school, just to be quite honest. So I think that it just really slowed down from me and I started like Joey say, really embracing my journey and what I am accomplished and what I want really want out of life. Because I'm Mr that point. I kinda was living to the stereotypical norms of I had 30 you should have a house, you need to have kids, you need to be married and all those things. And I mean that's just not reality. I think that a lot of times that those norms come of course from social media, but also from my fearing parents. I mean they can be the worst offenders when it comes to [inaudible] is that pressure of just settling down and I guess starting a family and all those other great aspects of life, which I mean it can be a beautiful thing, but I still in my personal experience think that it needs to be based on where you are in life and what you need to do to better yourself.
Because when you started living for other people is when you're going to be your own demise. So I think at 30 things slow down and you start accepting life of what it is and you make the best out of it and you continue to strive into what your goals are and focusing in on if it's just you as a single person than yourself. If you do have a spouse then is you and your spouse and of course you had kids and that has a hold in a different level. But to me at 30 life, slow down. That's cool. Well my life happen. Say Hi, how are you doing over there? Miss a 21 year old to be 21 was often around the emperor like me at 21 to be honest, like I do, but I don't like or remember like I know with some people like, oh, I remember what I did for my 21st birthday.
I really don't remember what I did for my 21st birthday. I don't know if that's a good or a bad [inaudible] to be honest. I do remember like, anyway, that's another story. Um, but like I was lipid 27, right. Married dog. How is, how's, how's that going? So it's so it's different. So I literally, when I wait and I, congratulations, you just got married. I just got married January 6th to Joseph Matthew Hollis. Then we've been together forever. We actually met, made a and m I love it. Go bulldogs. Go bull dog. See Joey know what I'm talking about. We went to the same school, but um, anyway. Um, but yeah, we just
got married January six of this year. It was a beautiful day. Literally. I thought it was going to rain, but it didn't, it wasn't beautiful. It was going to be cold because I always wanted to have a it perfect.
And it was like a perfect day. Like I didn't have to put like I bought this like little Chinchilla thing. I was about to be real cute, you know, but I didn't even get to wear it and I was like, man, I really want to wear that. But anyway, I didn't get to wear it. Um, but it was a beautiful day. I wouldn't change it for anything. Um, but yeah, to, to go back to the question, uh, I would never, I never really thought I was gonna be married at 27. I really thought I was gonna get married in my twenties, but probably like 29. Um, I didn't like, it's so funny cause if it was up to Joseph, we would have been married like two years ago. That's so beautiful. But it was, it was Kinda like, I was like, I was, I was just kind of in that zone of like, I'm too young to get married.
I said, have a life to leave, even though I was going to still live with him or whatever I said was just like, Nah, I don't want to be married. Like, Nah, let's, that's the responsibilities. That's this is that. But that's actually before I moved here to Birmingham with him cause we were doing the long distance shout out Birmingham to [inaudible] I'm just kidding. Whatever. Um, I enjoy Birmingham clearly. I know [inaudible] I noticed what y'all saying. He was like, you got an Alabama life [inaudible] multiple years. But anyway. Um, but yeah, I, I just did not think I was going to get married at that time and I, I just, but doing it now and actually being here and taking that step of like moving here with him before we got married, you know, to all the women out there who just kinda scared to move with men before they get married because they feel like it's like against their religion or their parents are gonna kill you or, you know, whatever.
I mean, I say go for it. I, that's always something that I wanted to do. I wanted to live with the person before I actually marry them. And it worked out perfectly for us. Um, it was hard at first, Lord. Um, but, uh, we got through that and I feel like it made us stronger, um, going through that point of like all the stuff that we did before we got to this point. Um, so I would say like getting married at 27 now, I would do it all over again. Um, I feel like it is this time is the right time to get married. Um, as far as for me, um, I mean, could our situation be a little bit different? Yeah. But who's, who's couldn't? Um, so I mean, I feel like right now between like him and I in our relationship, I feel like this would be, this is the perfect time to be married and gas is still early.
We're going to come back and ask this question about two years. Everyone now. Yep. And see if I feel the same way. Right. Okay. So ask me again when I'm 30. Yeah. Okay. I think you want on 30. I see it as the same. Um, but yeah, having Teenie beanie, she's literally our child, so teeny beanies and managers now. Um, she's like all black and she has like a little gray at the bottom. She's adorable. Y'All all, when you see her, she's just, she's just makes you male. But um, but yeah, she's like our child. She's the first born. Um, she is a diva. She's like diva dog number one. Um, she, she gets all of our attention. She's [inaudible] Burberry.
Yes. [inaudible] Bourbon, you know, that's why I got it cause I was like, oh my [inaudible] you know. Well, anyway, Amazon but I'm maybe anyways,
so, um, Katie beanie is, uh, she's great. Um, and so like, just being involved in like this whole situation, I'm having all these things and having a house like never thought this was going to happen. Um, it just kinda like fell into place and I just feel like that's the way I kind, I, I'm really, I'm a control freak in a sense. Right. But like with this, I made it like, just everything just fell into place. I'm just like, okay, this is what it is. Um, I know like when people ask me about, like, when I'm having children, I do have a time
limit for that. Like I have a timeframe, like, oh, okay, I want to have children starting off 30, 31, you know, whatever Joseph over here. Like, oh no, we need to have children now. But I'm like, oh, you're older than me, so that's why you want to have children.
I'm good. Um, but yeah, like it just feel like everything has fallen into place the way it's supposed to and I wouldn't change it for anything. Um, I've, I've learned a lot within like this whole process of like living in a house, Lord Jesus. Like there's so many things to learn in house, like when you become a homeowner, like is so much, but that's another topic. Um, and just you got to do it together, right? This was only in doing it with somebody else, regardless if it's somebody like your significant other, even if you're just moving in a house with your friends or whatever, it's like, it's still a lot to take experience and, and to know and to learn. Um, so yeah, I wouldn't change it for anything and I think it's great.
So how would you, I guess, alter say that the women have evolved over the, these few or not few years? This is our parents generation from now or even a grandparents to now. I would say it has evolved tremendously. Um, I would say because like, just to go back and like history in here, um, just to go back like po and guys, BB is intelligent. I just want to push you guys on notice those two words. It's over your head. No, no, that's not me. I'm not that person anyway. I'm, I'm not gonna let her put me on that, on the spot like that. But anyway, like I like just a brief last night before like, uh, the, the civil war, like women's job was to stay at home and cook and clean and tend to the family. Yeah. It was not about what we do now.
Um, and then it wasn't until after the civil war where the, the whole ideology of staying at home and no women tending to the family change and ms when like women got into the workforce and like the, in literally when men went off to the war, right? Like during World War II and stuff like that, that's when women really got into the labor force and it was just like, okay, we're going to sit here and replace these man and take their jobs. Why they're, you know, out in the war. Um, so it just gave them, it gave women that sense of pride and like, oh my goodness, I'm doing something else with my life that the rights that were taken away from me or to pry for me. Um, during those times, you know, they were able to do those things and I just feel like it was, it was like during that moment where like women saw different light and like, because they were given that privilege and give them that.
Right. Even though we've been literally fighting for equal rights with men for ever. And we're still doing that. But I just feel like, you know, it was that time which gave women a different mindset and a different way that you have to look at things. Um, but to say like, do comparison from like it is now, I would say that women now have to juggle so much more things. Like we have to go work, we have to be alive, God be a sister, we got to be a friend, we have to worry about our sad hustle. We have to sit up here and worry about, it's just so many things that we have to worry about on a regular day basis versus when our moms or grandparents were in, you know, doing their just everyday life. Um, cause I feel like back then it was more so, okay.
Like if I have work to do, like if work is over at five o'clock oh workers over at five o'clock I have to go to, into my family, you know, whatever. But like nowadays this is was like, oh no, if works over at five o'clock I have some other stuff to do. Oh, I'm a stay til six, seven, eight, whatever. Regardless of, you know, the things that have to do at home. Cause I also have to make sure my career's in tack. I got to make sure I advance, I have to sit up here, but you don't want to knock too much of like your family's situation because then of course, you know, other problems will, uh, come into being come into being. So it's just like, I just feel like it's so much more that we have to juggle then, um, you know, the, the older generation, they may up here and say, no, that's not true.
But I just feel like it's just so much more. And plus we got to keep up with the time and he's just like, Lord Jesus, it's just so much to do. Definitely. Joe, what do you guys think? I would definitely agree on a lot of accordance of what you're saying as far as us having to complete a juggling gag. Um, it's, it's so much, I wouldn't say pressure, but it's a lot of responsibility back to my definition. Responsibility, finish them. Right, exactly. On women. And I know if we heard the perspective of a guy, you know they will have a different perspective than us, but I can only talk from a longterm perspective. So sorry guys, if you filled in that kind of, I guess out voted or outnumbered on this conversation with podcasts. Not about me exactly, but as about women, I'm just saying, I'm just saying,
yeah, we need out too.
For sure. I mean, when I talk with my mom, I was telling the ladies last week how their airspace, even my mom's expectations, like when I'm at work really late, she doesn't understand it. But I guarantee if my brother had the same I guess hours, she wouldn't even question it. And still the expectation in their mind of taking care of kids and family. And my mom, she worked for 30 years, retired for the last eight. So I mean she wasn't a stay at home mom even though, I mean she could have been, but that's just not my mom's personality. She still felt like she had to go into the workforce and be predictive. But I think that they view us as kind of super women because to them, my mom thinks that it was certain positions that she couldn't have took on because she had us to take care of. And I think for her of course every day for making that sacrifice, but, and of course my dad was there to kind of pick up the slack when she wasn't able to do so. But she still says that there are certain opportunities that she had to turn down because of her family. Yeah. And today I think that it's still that balance because like you said, if you're away too much, I mean you still have to take care of home as well too. But luckily for me, I'm single.
Anybody out there or older looking up or be in a relationship with sparky, y'all, she fine y'all, she got long hair stop. Oh by the way, [inaudible] hey bro, you know what I'm saying? Coins dollars. We did that. Come here for this. Talk about women in started [inaudible] little token [inaudible] Segal, the top levers. I want people to think I'm leaving my family at home and working. That is hilarious.
Oh, to be young, flying single. I mean
so much heard. You are definitely daily bent to the task at hand because we're going to go off on this off on a
tangent that's just unimaginable. But at do Pete, that women's role has evolved and I think that it's a good thing, but I would say that women have evolved a better place
where they can have more technology I guess available to them. So certain things can be taken care of. Like I can, I can email, I can work from home, I can email from home and also cook dinner and make it to a softball or basketball game cause I have my phone. I mean it has unfortunately turn into that. But you do have those sensibilities that weren't afforded to our parents when they were coming up. So definitely fortunate to have that as a resource, which I think Julie, um, I think most definitely, um, the times have changed as it relates to our role as women. Um, and I know for me it's, it is a lot. It is a lot because I go to work, I come home from work and have to immediately transitioned into mommy mode. I literally, when I get home, I literally do not pull my clothes off until it's time for me to get me everybody in the baths in bed and then I can see about myself.
So I'm transitioning from therapists to mommy mode. I'm to teacher mode if there's homework and if I'm just going over practice material, then once I put everybody to bed, now it's entrepreneur hat and then 10 o'clock by the [inaudible] and I'm feeling like I want to fall out, but I know what my goal is. And so I can't afford to not pursue and at least been 10 minutes in one particular area, you know, as it relates to my pursuit of entrepreneurship, um, I can't afford that. So I'm having to sacrifice exhausted and all every single day, um, to get the job done, um, in order to accomplish the goals. So it is definitely a lot. And one thing that I do want to say is that as amazing and magical as BB said, that we are as women, I feel like we do not get the acknowledgment and credit that we deserve in this day and age because we do juggle so much, we juggle so much.
And I think it's unfortunate because the idea, speaking of how we define women, the idea of what a woman is and being female, it's distorted because of social media. And of course that can go on a whole nother level. Um, but I just think because of everything that society, how society defines us and what society portrays a woman to be, um, it takes away from who we, who we are and what we stand for as far as the type of women that are on this podcast. And for example. So, um, you know, I, I think there's so much work to be done centered around the idea of a woman, um, womanhood. And I'm so glad that this podcast exists and has been birth so that we can, um, we can be the, to present that, um, and I in a different light. Um, so that you all can can change your perspectives about women in general and
wonder if you yourself as a woman. Definitely. Definitely. That's true. That's true. Because I feel like every, if we were asked to ask this question to like 10 different people, each woman would have a different definition. One definition woman means to, right. So I just feel like, you know, if you tap into that and just being asked that question and like it, you have to think about it. It's not so good. It's just going to roll off because you wake up, you want me to go to sleep? [inaudible] you know? But it's like you literally don't think about like what it means to be a woman. It's like so many different definitions and things that comprise a woman. So it's just like, it's, it's, it's just great. I don't know. That's like the, when we chose the topic to talk about this, I was just like, oh yeah, this is, this is awesome.
It's a great topic because you don't think about like what it means to be a woman because you just, you just do it. Just do, you just are and you just, you just are a woman on a daily basis. Right. Um, and, and I just think it's cool. I think it's cool. So now I kinda want to get into the topic of things we can appreciate about the generation before us in comparison to the days woman. Okay. Does that make sense? Where the things that I'm gonna teach you? Like some timings. So today class right now talking about but now serious, I really want to talk about how women before us, I mean we always say our moms there is just so close moms, aunts, cousins that are older, how they are, things that they did well that I wish our generation would adopt I guess per se because everyone would try and make it seem like millennials are just so terrible human beings. I know, which we're not. We're really Nigelly first.
I think that one, and this may be just the difference in cultures, but I think that one way that we need to tap back into how women before us thought and operated and functioned on a day to day basis is when it comes to the idea of family and relationships. Um, I think we don't, um, we don't value family and relationships as much as they did then. Um, I think we've gotten away from that and I think our focus due to what society deems as important, um, our, our attention and our focus is on other, other things. Yeah. Um, and like w w what is before w what before us exudes what a healthy functioning relationship or family dynamic looks like.
The Cosby's right? Yeah. Minus a drugs guys. Right. [inaudible] we're like missing
that. We're missing that in this day and age. And um, that would be one thing that I would love to get, um, for us to embrace a little bit more and become more, um, more aware again. Yeah.
I mean, I would like to piggyback off of that because when you say like when our parents or moms are grandmothers, like they valued relationships and family more than for instance millennials do. Because I feel like now when it comes to relationships, especially marriage, you know, you know, I understand divorce, but I feel like it's so quick for people to get married, get divorced. Like it's nothing now it's just I still present. Right, right. This was like till death do us part and no longer is like till death do us part. And it's like a, it's literally to, I get tired of you and it's just like, I understand like for every situation's different. So if you need to get divorced and you feel like it's right for your situation of beyond go, go for it. You know, whatever you feel is right for you is right for you.
But I just feel like nowadays you literally see on tabloids, literally this person is married to this person. The next day the person is not married to this person. So it's just like, okay, like what happened like this. When you get married to somebody, it's not necessarily something that you just throw away, that's that person, that's your boyfriend anymore. Like if you do throw it away, I'm pretty sure you thought about it nine times out of 10, whatever. Like you thought about it so many times to figure out like, okay, you know what, I can't do this anymore. Like you as an inner person just was like, okay, this is not for me. But I just feel like, you know, now they don't value that as much anymore. And it's just like, well Nick's, I can go and be with somebody else. It's not like when you were single you could, you should have a different mindset. Um,
Yup. Go ahead. Sorry. Well, I was going to say, and I also think with that is the idea of, or, or the misunderstanding of what a woman and what womanhood is because we, what was I used ago, um, when everything was about missing independent in this, that Oh yeah, definitely. Yes. So taking on that mindset has, um, has kind of distorted the views of what, um, a working relationship with family. Right, right. And so the having that, that solid relationship, even though it's imperfect, but having that foundation is no longer, um, for a lot of people it's no longer the it factor. It's just kind of, Oh, if I get it, I get it. If I have it and it's okay, it's good, it works okay, fine. But the moment it doesn't, as you said, then I know that there's a word called divorce. I can go and submit my paperwork and then I'm done. Right. I think you two hit on two very distinct differences in regards to the previous relationship or previous generation to us in a sense that valuing the relationship, you both
argued that women nowadays, once we are in a relationship or view things from the woman's perspective, we're out. And I feel like social media and different variations play a role into that because, you know, grandpa could have a whole different family on her side of town and we didn't ever know about it. Grandma's gonna be there. Right, exactly. So those families that just showed up at the funeral, now you get to deal with it on like these people. Right, right, right. I've been there the whole time and not to get too far away from the tangent. I would say that my perspective as far as things that I wished that the generation would bring back or just honestly the idea of being a lady, I think that that is gone missing in so many regards that it is almost unheard of and it's almost looked down upon to actually respect here.
So it's a project that won't be in what a lady is simplifies and I guess I need to explain it to me. A lady is just someone who walks into a room and everyone noticed there, but no one knows anything about her or normal and believe knows exactly any and everything that she's thinking about now. And I know that music just evolves, his generation evolves. But I mean, whereas you might've said one word, you're saying the most extreme vulgar word when it comes to music. And I think that just plays a role into
society and how women are viewed and how they're treated because of the music that people hear on a day to day basis. For sure. But I will definitely want to bring back the idea of being a lady and not necessarily nor your place, but being okay with cooking your meds dinner or taking care of the household as well as the workplace too.
I feel like a lot of my friends, once they make a certain amount of money and once they're in their career it's like, okay, I had this family but this work comes first and I don't think that's fair. I feel like you made a commitment to both of them and I feel like we should have some sort of balance when it comes to that. And granted, like we talked about earlier, I don't think our parents really had to deal with it, but we just have to, in my opinion developed some kind of balance because if, like you said BB earlier you were saying that once you go home or once you don't take care of home and you're all focused on work, then something else is going to lay. So I just wonder how you can kind of keep that balance so you guys have any suggestions or ideas on how to keep that balance when it comes to
being a lady and working as a home at the time I really just feel like lower can we start from giving birth and waiving them differently? I really do feel that way because like there's no exam. There are very few examples in the home. It's, it's so many times that I've come across young girls and they don't have anyone that they can say that I look up to. So they don't know what it is to be a lady. They don't know. They don't even wear the right underwear. Like they don't [inaudible]. They don't know. They do.
Sometimes you, you can wear a slip depending on what that looks. They don't even probably don't even know be your grandma. They make appealing flips, you know? But oh my body slips [inaudible] in every aspect. But I don't, they just don't have the foundation period. And they don't have women, strong women who are in position to mentor them, to guide them and direct them or direct them because they are misguided. They are misguided in most ways because I feel like they seek media and their [inaudible] mentor, that's television if that's movies is that, you know, whatever, it's that they seek median. So it's what they see popular and what's popping at the time. It's just like, Ooh, I want to be her. And it's just like, you may not even necessarily know what her is. So it's just like, but that's what you tell. We didn't know who her was because she didn't show her face [inaudible] but it's just like, I feel like, you know, they, the, the look in the, Oh, I look up to, you know, say friends is Oprah, which a lot of women still do.
But you don't necessarily hear that and you hear, oh I look at, I want to be like Kesha K or ain't nothing wrong with Kesha. Katie. Nothing like love her. But it's just like, you know, where did the difference go? Like, where, where it is just like, okay, here's what, I've never, exactly the same role modeling. Exactly. You know, that's why I was like, I love Kesha K or she's awesome. Like she, she does some boss things like she had no, she, she, you know, she's not just Gucci, Maine's wife. She is her own woman. And I appreciate about that. Like her, like she's, she's awesome. She's definitely done a lot of things in our culture. Um, but like as far as like, you know, the comparison there, I just feel like, you know, what happened to and you know, embodying and being a, uh, you know, a classy lady like riper on Michelle Obama or something like that, which I feel like, you know, girls look up to those women, but it's not enough.
It's the NSA. It's like, I don't think it's, it's idolized like, you know, oh, I want to be like, you know, this person or whatever and you want to, in my opinion, another issue is that with that is them not being aware of who they are, them not being confident in whom they are. Um, and who they represent. It's more so, oh, that's not what he, whoever he is, that's not what he deems as sexy or appealing. So that doesn't matter. Right. That doesn't matter. Right. It's this, that I see this that I know in here that, um, it's viewed as appealing and so I want to be that. Yeah. I want to be that. I agree with you because I mean
even me being in my late twenties, like I always and body being a lady and how to be when she was in her late twenties, guys don't bring it up no more.
But yeah, I just feel like you being a lady has like, even when I was an Undergrad, like, you know, when you first go to Undergrad it's about, you know, uh, getting guys and you know what, you know, trying to wear the scanty ugly class clothes for you can get noticed. But at the same time, like I had to realize for myself then like that's not usually is that it's like that we all had those hard labor. You had a conversation with somebody else and I said, you know, everybody has their period when they're an Undergrad, when they're just like, they're trying to be somebody, they're not. And it's just like I had that moment. I had to it and I snapped out a real CPAP st you boots. I was like, I can't worry shawl.
Literally I wore y'all. I kid you not. I literally wore a leather skirts, short leather skirt to class one day. I said, [inaudible] is Monday morning. It's Monday morning. You got on my method skirt. I was just like, no, no, no, no, no, no. Stop trying to keep up with your friends. What's your love ramps in them? Where are they now, Bibi? Where are they now? Where great things going on. But no, like I literally had to like,
it was just like, you know what, you never, you weren't raised like that. You want not that and it's okay if you aren't then, um, so I, I, yeah, I just feel like we really literally touched on a lot of great topics today. Um, all of them just spoke on like how it is to be a woman, the differences between a woman. And I would say this like our mom and our grandma's generation. Y'All are there. Powerful women are definitely like shouts in my grandma 91st birthday shout outs of grandma. But like literally like they have so much wisdom, so much, like they have so much strength behind them and it's just so powerful. Like if you talk to anybody, your mom or your grandma, like the knowledge that they give you is just beautiful and the stories. Um, so I would like to end the night with saying, oh, day, night, whenever
I like the, yeah, I will.
So in this by I beautiful quote from B grades, Michelle Obama, Woo. Always my first lady. I'm saying she's the best. Oh Gosh, we miss you. But if you don't have her book, get her book. It's awesome. Yeah, no, I have her book. Bang. Ready Shit.
Oh, not bad. I'm at least on page 25. Sorry. Anyway, okay, sounds good. So we got to wrap this up, y'all okay. Okay, I've got to go. Um, so the quote that I have to say is,
keep this in mind, ladies, okay? Remember these things. There is no limit to what we as women can accomplish. And so just take that through your day to day life. There is nothing that you cannot accomplish with Labor. You want to put your mind to, you can do it. Okay? Hey, you stop y'all. Yay. Okay. We done